Posted by
• 07.23.13 11:36 am


1- Beyoncé isn’t just the most beautiful woman in the world. She’s an icon and a role model for young black girls all over the country EXSPECIALLY Africa. 


Personally, I’m more like the  British streetwear dudes who used to run Trace magazine. I like my African Americans a little more edgy than someone who married an ex-crack dealer. That’s why Barbie is my go-to #1 when people ask me why black is beautiful. I mean, look at her. She’s prettier than any of the cave bitches in Sports Illustrated.



Of course, neither of these rookies compare with my Boo Berry. She’s so pretty she made Billy Bob Thornton become unracist in a movie. Even the government loves her.



After going through the brutally mental abuse of domestic abuse, Rihanna went the extra mile and FORGAVE Chris Brown for beating the shit out of her. It’s one thing to take a punch but the way she pushed through it and gave Chris a second chance shows young black girls they can do anything.



Speaking of role models, Whitney didn’t just have the best pipes in the business. She was also probably a great mom. As you already know, fame snatched her away from us because she got caught up in all that showbiz crap. It’s ironic that the great pipes that led to her success, also took her down. Thank God the government recognized this African beauty, too.




This African Queen has triple Ds and by that I mean she is Drop Dead Diva gorgeous. She’s also a triple threat in that she can sing, act, and dance. She probably has that thing where you have an Emmy and a Tony and a Grammy and they all spell a word. I bet her father wishes he could have been a bigger part of her life.



She tickles my soul every time she tickles the ivories and like Mariah, I bet her father wishes he could have been more around. At least to see her get nominated for best female R&B/Pop Artist at this year’s BET Awards where she showed up with badass hoop earrings and Love and Hate on her knuckles like that dude from Do the Right Thing.




I don’t think Ty Ty Baby was at the awards this year but she should have been. She’s black! And beautiful! Like all models, Tyra was an ugly duckling in high school but after she got famous, she used her looks for good. Today she inspires young black girls by posing on Twitter with no make -up and letting her giant forehead show.



Little Kim used to be kind of butt, but she turned it around recently and said to all young women of color, “You can do dis!” To surf the net looking at recent pictures of Lil’ Kim is to be transported to a world where the Caribbean Queens of Billy Ocean lore lure you in like sirens of the sea.



Special thanks to AllTheParties.Com for generously letting the world see this African jewel. I know blood diamonds are immoral but if someone presented me with this rare gem, I’d grab it and shove it in my pocket without saying a word. Some things are too valuable to worry about “why?”




  1. Anonymous says:

    You forgot Rashida Jones.

  2. wat says:


  3. Tim Lewis says:

    I used to think Rihanna was hot but after some time I realized she’s the type of chick had she not made it in show biz would be selling that ass on the corner for sure.some pimp would have turned her out quick .

  4. Blaque Lyq Me says:

    Pale skinned bitches.

  5. Anonymous says:

    that last one is a human car accident.

  6. prince paul needs a haircut says:

    I see what you did there…gotta love that they’re all in “unnatural hair.” Got a thing for “high-yellas”?

  7. Skip Foreplay says:

    Tiffany Pollard for the win, dipshit.

  8. I love Nicki. Lil Kim was smoking hot before all the unnecessary surgery.

  9. Chess says:

    Does rain = frizzles ? Or is it barber technically possible to become unfrizzleble?

  10. Chess says:

    Got to have your love
    Got to have it all to myself

    I say yeah

  11. dudebro says:

    haa. it is pretty amazing that this is basically the same list that you could see in like cosmo or ok weekly or whatever. black aint ‘beautiful’ unless it’s mostly white with the faintest trace of blackness.

  12. Nick says:

    “Beyonce is a huge inspiration to young black girls with long blonde hair.” – Gavin

  13. George Eliot says:

    But let’s not forget: George Zimmerman is ‘white’.

  14. Berry Tepper says:

    I lauged and laffed one more time

  15. Zim Zimmermanischewitz says:

    Awful lotta asians/indians missing their mops with these chicks floating around. Weave central.

  16. ??? says:

    My dad used to always say, “why do all famous black women look white?”

  17. pingpong says:

    Whitney Houston looked better before she got that hook hand

  18. Ecgtheow says:

    Where’s Dennis Rodman?

  19. Barf says:

    That was a lazy, lazy article. You just picked today’s most famous black women. Shame on you.

  20. blah says:

    More useless drivel from a guy who hasn’t written an article with any actual substance in ages. Just doing shit for attention, as usual.

  21. sam says:

    where is kerry washington?

  22. Pear bottom says:

    Including the First Lady would have been too easy. Good call Gavin.

  23. […] this idea until it is indistinguishable from water. Having someone who disguises herself as a white woman and croons about getting plowed tell us which words are sexist is hilarious. It’s a funeral for […]

  24. BJ McFrisky says:

    What about their white mommies?

  25. desbest says:

    Rihanna and Tyra Banks are not attractive.

  26. […] Just say “Boo!” and everyone runs away screaming. The fact that Nicki Minaj wears a blond wig in a clear appropriation of white culture is irrelevant. Blackface is verboten. Why? I still […]

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