Everyone already knows about the shittiest jobs but what about the jobs that are bullshit? Gavin goes over the most retarded jobs in this video.
“Assistant crack whore.”
It wasn’t exactly bullshit if you were a “hard” working coked up stud on the set of a constantly interrupted porno shoot, and it’s now a quaint obsolete profession due to the arrival of Viagra. For those kind of productions it was a form of First-Aid no less than the resuscitative powers of CPR. Unfortunately for the blow job brigade, it’s not the kind of job that’s considered a resume enhancer even by the sordid standards of Hollywood Babylon.
I was one in my brief foray into gay gang bang films. It was Bull Shit as my mouth was filled with shit from all the ATM action starting with tasting my own Asshole from everyone’s dip sticks, and then from tasting everyone else’s Asshole from those same dip dicks in a huge bathhouse daisy chain. It was a duck duck goose game in a big circle of homos who would on a Village People song cue, bounce up and break the chain and surround me to stuff me silly. I always had a shit eating chin if not a grin. The jizz biz uses up Pivot men quickly. To this day I still can’t get the smell out of my mind. My shrink calls it Post-Traumatic-Shit-Disorder.
“Dancing with Gerbils”
Yeah that was my job title at the infamous Warsaw Ballroom during South Beach’s heyday. Most straight outsiders heard about the foam parties (the original XXX ones) but had no idea about the REAL goings on in that gay pleasure palace. The hallways and side rooms were notorious for cruising and screwing as well as open drug use. In the ball room during the foam party, all the boy cream was delightfully camouflaged. The highlight of each night was the Adonis and his pretty blonde boy show entrance. All the Sodomites would encircle them as the pretty naked blonde was led into their midst on all fours on a leash wearing a diamond studded dog collar. The Adonis would then open his golden cape and face the sex slave face to crotch. You get the picture you pervs as he’d start there and finish doggie style. Now you may ask, where does my dance number with my furry little friends come in. The sickos who ran this diseased ridden HIV lavatory were well aware Butyl Nitrite, aka ‘Poppers,’ was used liberally by their degenerate regulars, and had also heard of the ‘Urban Legend’ of Richard Gere and the Gerbil.
That’s where I came in. My act was introduced by the DJ whereupon I would enter in a full body leather outfit. My assistant would then unzip the butt back of my leather Ass chaps to the thunderous approval of the leering crowd going straight to hell. Then the assistant would pull out a cardboard paper towel tube. Out of another pocket he would then bring out the squirming gerbil wrapped up in duct tape. The tube was well greased and inserted into my gaping Asshole. Then the tricky moment of the ACT. This was unbeknownst to the drooling mob, but this was a magic show. The greased up gerbil was inserted into the tube and shoved in with a poker stick apparently all the way up my exit ramp. The now empty space tube ~ ‘wink wink’ ~ was then pulled out and shown to the straining necks of shit eaters as being empty of the little ASStronaut who it was assumed was in the deep outer space between my cheeks. This my friends was a sleight of hand misdirection magic trick. It worked every time and kept me employed as a gerbil prop. Once the congregation on hand were convinced I was the 2nd Cumming of Richard Gere, the music started its beat and I was the center of a dance scene where everyone want to shake and rub their booty with mine. I danced as if I was in ecstasy and was the object of much affection, and thank my lucky stars, not infection.
I bet Emily would say being a Blogger is pure BULL SHIT, and it would be entered as evidence in the divorce proceedings to be part of the case against his fitness for child custody. All the judge has to do is read the comments section of Street Carnage and John Pittsley’s writings and then turn to Gavin and ask: “Mr McInnes, what have you to say about your flag-ship creation and this utter gutter trash? Who is this perverted and criminally insane OogaBooga who you give so much space and time in an open and unregulated forum to spew such vile obscenitys?”
This “Bull Shit” job belongs in a museum as it is so medieval. At least the British Crown is Britain’s main revenue generating tourist attraction, a living Madame Tussauds exhibt which justifies its anachronistic existence fiscally and tabloid wise while not interfering in political matters in any way meaningful. The Catholic Church on the other hand, as personified by this ancient Roman relic – Pontifix Maximus, is still meddling in millions of people’s lives, and serves no good purpose other than maintaining some fabulous architecture which just as easily could be serviced as World Heritage sites by the State. The Latin tongue it could be argued is preserved by the pomp and circumstance of mystical rituals, yet such illictitations amount to the mumblings of mumbo jumbo for all that’s understood by the pious drones.
The current drag Queen of Babylon the Great is a socialist faggot who needs to stop pontificating and see what he can do about stopping the illict fornicating by his priests with children. The original pagan pontifix maximus’ s are in the History books exactly where this Roman Catholic travesty belongs. AMEN.
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11. middle age hipster Andy Rooney
BTW are the pyramids of Egypt and Mexico coming down now that monuments linked to slavery are unpopular?
Awww, OogaBooga is upset again I see. Every time he stomps his little feets, it’s Jew World time kids. This time it’s holocaust denial. He says it’s only Zionism he hates and he’ll even trot out a IKAGO list, but we know better as articles like this give him away every time. What do we call this kind of behavior?……Ummm?….Oh yes! I think I’ll call it GAS LIGHTING. Very good way to describe attempts by anti-semites to minimize the Holocaust.
Nice choice of a website by the way. Very nice choice Herr OogaBooga.
Oh! I almost forgot. Here’s another Bull Shit Job. It’s called being OogaBooga. I mean he spends his time talking shit on Street Carnage every day, night and day, every day, full time, as either himself, or one of his surrogate cock Muppets. He’s so full of shit, and takes up so much air in the comments section that he qualifies as the resident village idiot. What a life and what a loser.
#11 Anthony Cumia
Does he still do that podcast from his one-room basement apartment with the big mural that makes it appear he’s in a 40th floor studio in the city?
Well, Gavin always right. Always.
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