1. HAVING NERD HOBBIES The right hobbies can let a girl know you’re an interesting guy with a broad range of interests. The right hobbies are photography, DJing, playing guitar, and that’s about it.
1. HAVING NERD HOBBIES
The right hobbies can let a girl know you’re an interesting guy with a broad range of interests. The right hobbies are photography, DJing, playing guitar, and that’s about it. If you spend your weekends making your own crossword puzzles or writing Babylon 5 fan fiction, keep that shit under your hat. Take all your D&D manuals and bidey-oh games and Magic the Gathering cards and hide them in a box (label it “Civil War Books” so no girl ever opens it). However, if you ignore this and do end up with a girl who for some reason likes the same shit you do, make sure you’re not…
2. READING TOO MUCH INTO IT
So you went on a date/she talked to you/you were in an elevator with her and she didn’t hold a knife to your throat. You’re not used to success, so this feels great. Ignore that feeling. Don’t let your desperation confuse lack of evident failure with success. This is how nerds get false confidence and start to COME ON STRONG, which to women looks like a giant boner wearing glasses.
3. HAVING NERD FRIENDS
Nerds experience a lot of rejection, so they’re naturally sensitive about it. This means that they have a hard time excluding people, and end up hanging out with the absolute bottom of the friendship barrel. When I was in high school, there was one guy in my circle of nerd friends who wrote erotic stories about being cooked and eaten by giant women. You have to draw the line somewhere. Think of your circle of friends as the A-Team: You need a funny one, a leader to come up with plans for Friday night, a guy who has a nice car, and a big black guy who hates flying. If you don’t bring anything to the table, you’re off the team.
The thing about the Socs was that they were so used to catching all the breaks that they never acted like they cared. That got them a lot of pussy. The thing about the Greasers was that they hated the system and couldn’t give less of a fuck. That netted a fair bit of pussy. The thing about the nerds is that there are no nerds in The Outsiders because nobody gives a shit about people who give a shit and are constantly “on” in social situations.
5. BEING A FAKE FEMINIST
This is a form of sexual Stockholm Syndrome in which nerds get so frustrated that they start blaming themselves and, by extension, their gender. No girl has ever been impressed by a guy that knows who Andrea Dworkin is, let alone one who “understands where she’s coming from.”
6. BEING A REAL MISOGYNIST
Some women actually like it when a guy drops some sexist Andrew Dice Clay material in front of them. It reminds them of their asshole dads. However, nerds don’t have the balls to do this. They’ll be incredibly sweet in person and then say the most vile, Ted Bundy shit imaginable when she’s out of earshot. Girls know that you’re doing this. I don’t know how, but they do, and it is sexual ipecac. Ironically, this is often the same guy as the fake feminist.
7. BEING NICE
This is cliched, but it bears repeating. You know who’s nice and very polite? Foreigners who don’t speak the language. It’s “por favor this” and “por favor that” until the cows come home. They’re nice because they have to be in order to navigate situations in which they’re way out of their depth. The same is true for nerds. Women aren’t impressed with Nice unless it’s the city in France (women also love corny Carrie Bradshaw bullshit like that joke.)
8. TAKING ADVICE FROM WOMEN
These are trade secrets, of course they’re going to tell you the exact opposite of the truth. Also, don’t take advice from good-looking men. They get away with shit that would get you arrested.
This shit only works for people who are already confident. If there’s even a slight chance that the thing you’re deprecating yourself about could be an actual character flaw, you’re done for.
Give it up, you fucking nerd.