There’s a problem this country faces that people continually turn a blind eye to. It’s an attack on our language, our culture, and our way of life. And if we don’t do something to stop it, this beloved nation of ours is going to go down the tubes. I’m talking, of course, about Americans using the Queen’s English.
I’ve been told far too many times there’s no equivalent to the word “nigger” for white American males. From what I can gather, hearing the word come out of someone’s mouth, who isn’t black, is more painful than being struck with a farmer’s whip for someone who is black. Supposedly, the reasoning behind this is that the black experience in this country is steeped in dealing with racism. And unlike any other, impossible for anyone who isn’t black to understand. All of this has pretty much been accepted as an immutable fact and it may very well be true. However, being called “mate” as a heteronormative, cis, American, white male is pretty darn close to what it must feel like.
The Queen’s English is as offensive to the ears as anything else and speaking it on U.S. soil is one of the worst things you can do as an American citizen. It’s not quite as bad as infringing on another American’s constitutional rights, but it is worse than being a card carrying member of the K.K.K. At least those guys played a part in this country’s history. The only role the British played was getting shipped the fuck out of here, and their fruity version of the English language has no business coming back. Allowing it to come back and actually speaking it is essentially treason and definitely gay as fuck.
That’s what’s so disturbing about the trend; how big of a sissy it makes everyone participating in it sound. When coming up with new slang, one’s goal should be to sound hip and cool. Hearing an American say “cheers” instead of “thank you,” or ask for a “fag” instead of a cigarette conjures up images of monocled dandies sipping brandy with their pinkies out. I don’t know about you but Frasier and Niles Crane are the furthest thing from cool I can imagine.
The only time it is excusable for an American to use the Brits’ posh version of the English language, is when you’re insulting or mocking someone. In fact, it can be even better than ours in this case. But this is only because their vocabulary is so fucking fruity to begin with that their insults are exponentially gayer than ours. When you have an entire population talking like sissies, the equivalent terms they have to come up with for “sissy” are unfathomable. This is true for when you want to bring it to someone’s attention that they’re acting like a little baby too. American English isn’t gay enough to come up with terms like “poof” and “got your knickers in a bunch.” So, we should be thankful to the English for that but there’s no need to adopt their entire vernacular.
These are tough times our country is going through and whenever someone brings up the vision our founding fathers had for it, they always forget the main point: not to be like the fucking British. I’m not talking about becoming an empire or adopting an official language. I’m talking about not being like the people of Britain. You can interpret the Constitution or Bill of Rights however you please. But every time an American uses “cheers” instead of “thanks” or “mate” instead of “dude,” our forefathers roll over in their graves.