Posted by
Arv
• 07.30.10 04:26 pm


The Wikipedia entry for Warren G and Nate Dogg’s song “Regulate” features a 500+ word synopsis seemingly written by an English scholar. It’s a fucking riot.

The Wikipedia entry for Warren G and Nate Dogg’s song “Regulate” features a 500+ word synopsis seemingly written by an English scholar. It’s a fucking riot. Check it out below, and should you happen to be so inspired to translate your favorite ’90s gangster rap song into a college essay, definitely hit us up.

-ARV
Twitter.com/ToImpale

Synopsis
On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in Long Beach, seeks Warren. Ironically, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. He insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

Warren makes a left at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful thieves reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.

Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants.

Warren, unaware that Nate is surreptitiously observing the scene unfold, is in disbelief that he’s being robbed. The perpetrators have taken jewelry and a name brand designer watch from Warren, who is so incredulous that he asks what else the robbers intend to steal. This is most likely a rhetorical question.

Observing these unfortunate proceedings, Nate realizes that he may have to use his firearm to deliver his friend from harm.

The tension crescendos as the robbers point their guns to Warren’s head. Warren senses the gravity of his situation. He cannot believe the events unfolding could happen in his own neighborhood. As he imagines himself escaping in a surreal fashion, he catches a glimpse of his friend, Nate.

Nate has seventeen cartridges to expend (sixteen residing in the pistol’s magazine, with a solitary round placed in the chamber as to maximize the weapon’s capacity) on the group of thieves, and he uses many of them. Afterward, he generously shares with Warren the credit for neutralizing the situation, though it is clear that Nate did all of the difficult work. Putting congratulations aside, Nate quickly reminds himself that he has committed multiple homicides to save Warren before letting his friend know that there are females nearby if he wishes to fornicate with them.

Warren recalls that it was the promise of copulation that coaxed him away from his previous activities, and is thankful that Nate knows a way to satisfy these urges.

Nate quickly finds the women he had left before, and remarks to one that he is fond of her physical appeal. The woman who earlier crashed her car on Nate’s account is impressed by, among other things, Nate’s singing ability. She asks that Nate and Warren to allow her and her friends to share transportation. Soon, both friends are driving with automobiles full of women to the East Side Motel, presumably to consummate their flirtation in an orgy.

The third verse is more expository, with Warren and Nate explaining their G Funk musical style. Nate displays his bravado by claiming that individuals with equivalent knowledge could not even attempt to approach his level of lyrical mastery. He also notes that if any third party smokes as he does, they would find themselves in a state of intoxication daily (from Nate’s other works, it can be inferred that the substance referenced is marijuana). Nate concludes his delineation of the night by issuing a vague threat to “busters,” suggesting that he and Warren will further “regulate” any potential incidents in the future (presumably by engaging their enemies with small arms fire).

UPDATE: Turns out that there’s a good chance that this addition to Wikipedia, which was made in June of 2010, was probably ripped off of this 2009 blog post by SC reader The Fool. Thus is the Internets….


Comments
  1. Lance Kilby says:

    “16 in the clip and one in the hole.” rhymed with bodies turn cold is some deep shit yo!

  2. Mudbutt says:

    this is like 3 years old arv

  3. yikes says:

    New to me. And it’s really good.

  4. Curds says:

    do you presume to engage ME with small arms fire, buster?

  5. lukeoneil47 says:

    my man over here did a funny deconstruction of this shit too.

    http://www.awesomelybadlyrics.com/2009/09/warren-g-nate-dogg-regulate.html

  6. Solange says:

    Also new to me and it cracked my shit up

  7. Anonymous says:

    I always think LA looks a bit hot to wear jeans, a t-shirt, a shirt and a sweatshirt. But I haven’t been there.

  8. The FoOl says:

    This was ripped off of my blog.

    The guy has changed up the wording but it’s the same thing.

    originally posted in March, 2009: http://www.sufferthefool.com/2009/03/telling-story-warren-g-and-nate-dogg.html

    Check when that Wiki article was modified. It has to be after my post.

  9. Arv says:

    @The Fool: The Wiki article was modified to include the synopsis in 2010, so you may be on to something.

  10. Lance Kilby says:

    @ARv

    G|————-|——————|———————|——————
    D|———-0h2|——————|———————|—————0h2
    A|————-|————–0-2-|-3———3-3——-|-3-2-0——2p0—
    E|-0—0-0—–|-0–0–0———-|———————|———2——–

    @TheFoOl

    One in the hole is having one round chambered.

  11. […] for Empire and 96 for Regulate. Sorry, Warren G, but you’ll have to settle for this academic synopsis of your song and […]


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