I am a 21-year-old college senior living in NYC. I have a problem hooking up with girls and just letting it be that: meaningless sex.
I am a 21-year-old college senior living in NYC. I have a problem hooking up with girls and just letting it be that: meaningless sex. My main problem is not wanting to to an asshole, which, in a city with 9 million people, is completely illogical. There can be 4 million assholes in the city, but you could go a whole week without running into one. I am not a fan of just using a girl for a fuck and then not talking with her ever again. This type of shit weighs me down. What should I do to avoid feeling like I’m an asshole after I hook up with someone? And, where’s the best place for me to find girls who won’t make me feel shitty for only wanting to fuck them?
You’re not an asshole. This is a sweet question to have received. It reminds me of my office mate Wes, who wears ankle socks. Wait … is this Wes?!?! If it is, after you read this, knock on your desk five times and spin around in your chair. (Can you tell I just got back from Starbucks?)
OK, back to the question: You want to have a more meaningful sex life. One way to avoid that feeling of not using a girl and treating her like a dick after you fuck her is to NOT DO THAT. How about try this: jerk off four times a day and try to only have sex with girls you have crushes on for a month. If you don’t have sex as a result of you having no crushes, at least you’ve already jerked off twice and you can look forward to doing it twice more.
Oh wait, I see. This letter confused me a bit. The real problem is that you’re a pussy and you crush too hard on every girl you fuck? You WANT meaningless sex! Ahh, OK. Can I ask you something? WHY? Why do you want to be a jerk? Guys like you don’t grow on trees. But I hear what you’re saying. I often wish I can just have sex for the sake of having sex, but the truth is that sex isn’t that great for me when I don’t want to completely obliterate the guy I’m fucking with tons of passion and emotion. BUT I’M A GIRL.
Here’s what I think: Don’t try to change who you are. If you can’t have meaningless sex, then don’t. I think it’s cool that you get crushed out. I think it’s awesome. Please don’t try harder to become a fucking cliche. Remember that scene in Say Anything when Lilli Taylors says to Lloyd Dobler, “The world is full of guys. Don’t be a guy. Be a man.” We need more Lloyd Doblers in this world and if that freaks certain girls out, then fuck those girls.
What you can change is letting the girl know just how much of a pussy you really are. So you like them. So you want to write them letters and you want to attend outdoor music festivals just to hear her band play and be closer to her even though you hate outdoor music festivals. Do all of that but do it in spades, and always take care of yourself and do for you before you do for her. But don’t try harder not to care about her. It won’t work anyway. And maybe that makes you a bit of a pussy, and maybe your heart will break as a result, but so fucking what? Take that heartbreak. It will make you a better man, it will make you stronger and deeper. Not everyone gets a chance to be those things. Some people are meant to be assholes. The world is full of them! Don’t be an asshole. Be a fucking man.
Contrary to public opinion, being a man doesn’t mean you are supposed to treat girls like shit. It’s the opposite of that. It means being who you are and not being afraid to be that way. If you cry, then you cry. If you fall in love, you fall in fucking love. Little boys want to impress their friends and pretend they don’t feel certain things ’cause they’re afraid that they’ll get made fun of. Repressed homosexual jocks rape girls because they hate them because they feel like they’re supposed to love them but they don’t. Do you fit into either of these categories? NO!
P.S. The word “asshole” is mentioned too many times in both your letter and my response. I counted. It’s like 7 million times. We need more dick. Too much asshole. Think with your dick, not your ass. Actually no, don’t think with your dick. Think with your penis.