Posted by
Lesley Arfin
• 06.30.11 12:00 pm


Last Friday, I went to a party at my new boyfriend’s friends’ house. I had a beer and four or five shots of vodka…


Photograph snatched from real horror-show like.

Last Friday, I went to a party at my new boyfriend’s friends’ house. We’ve been hooking up since October but just became “Facebook official” the day before. I had a beer and four or five shots of vodka, then thought that I danced with my boyfriend and friends until he passed out on the couch and I walked home around 2 A.M.

I got a call later the next day. It was my boyfriend saying that four or five of his friends told him I was dancing / making out with some guy named Adam for part of the night while he was passed out. I have zero recollection of this, nor do I know who Adam is. I believe it did happen, though, because a mutual friend of ours — someone who had no reason to lie — confirmed it.

When I talked to my boyfriend, he said he didn’t want to “wash his hands of me,” but he needed a few days to “work it out.” I have no idea what that means, but I’ve been staying away — no calls, no texts, no emails, no Facebook likes for the past two days.

He said the worst part was that it was in front of his friends, which I completely understand. My question is: How do I get him to forgive me and not see me as the drunk whore that I am?

-SAD FACE

Dear Sad Face,

“He said he didn’t want to ‘wash his hands of me,’ but he needed a few days to ‘work it out.’ I have no idea what that means.”

That means that he’s kind of a pussy and you probably don’t like him as much as you think you do, which is probably why you drank so much to begin with. Either way, you’re holding the cards. By the time this is published you’ll have either broken up with him or you guys will be back to normal. Pace yourself with the booze.

xx
-LESLEY ARFIN
LesleyArfin.com
CafeconLesley.BlogSpot.com

Send “Ask Barf” letters / replies to AskBarf@StreetCarnage.com (include photos).


Comments
  1. Wtf says:

    Adam is a dick.

  2. Jesus Shit says:

    Yeah fuck you Adam

  3. simon says:

    why is Adam a dick?

    takes two to tango.. saying you ‘have no recollection of events’ is an equal-oppportunity get-out pass.. no reason Adam can’t use that one too..

    are you assuming Adam was taking advantage of this poor girl?

  4. nawny gold says:

    it happens. he’s probably not that upset cause he did the same thing and you don’t know about it.

  5. cam says:

    adam is a pussy

  6. cam says:

    shit, i mean your boyfriend is a pussy.

  7. Steve Harvey says:

    If Facebook “likes” play into your relationship strategy at all, you’re probably not at the right maturity level to be in any sort of a serious relationship. The good news is that getting blackout drunk and making out with random dudes is much more fun than being in a relationship, for the most part, so enjoy it. Granted, dudes named Adam usually suck.

  8. A. Judy-Kate says:

    You’ve stated clearly that you don’t know the guy from Adam.

    Therefore there’s been no conscious transgression.

    So congrats you’re a drunk, but not a whore.

    Being a drunk is in fact much much much worse than being a whore, but who am I to judge — is it just because I’m Judy? I guess you are just that cheap, then.

    NEXT!

  9. doye says:

    high school was so much fun

  10. FaceHeadAss says:

    She absolutely and totally knows who Adam is, and remembers everything that happened. Why lie in an anonymous forum?

  11. tttttt says:

    wtf, like your bf never was a drunk whore. also, you just made out, you didn’t actually fuck him and talk to him later and stuff. respect yourself

  12. tinyfrogs says:

    “I got so wasted I that I lost self-control” is the same thing as “I have no self-control”. The alcohol is no excuse.

    Boyfriend better dump this immature skank like the ticking social embarrassment/STI timebomb that she is.

  13. John says:

    88 Keys the death of adam banner ad finally serves an ironic purpose after all this time. i knew you planned it.

  14. em says:

    How exactly is he a pussy for thinking something over for a few days? Instead of making a rash, immature decision?

    And “you probably don’t like him as much as you think you do, which is probably why you drank so much to begin with”? What? Let’s be honest: drinking a lot together is the FOUNDATION of most young relationships…

  15. Anonymous says:

    tell him he can watch next time if he’s a good boy.

    he’s done the same thing to you. but you just one-upped him by doing it in front of his friends.

    you won. forever.

  16. reo speedwagon in converse says:

    Giving him some head and swallowing would be a good first step. Rinse Adam’s kisses away.

  17. Brahms says:

    I don’t see how he comes off as a pussy exactly. More like a dude who feels like he needs a few days to think about how he “should be mad” but instead just thinks it’s kind of hot. Good make-up sex has already happened.

  18. James Nevins says:

    I think Barf already knows this, as her spot on “are you fucking serious now?” response indicates, but these are only ever someone asking for a cure to their symptom, never their disease.

    P.S. Adam’s a dick, but her boyfriend’s a wiener. Rather be a dick than a wiener any day though. Amirite fellas? Or amirite?

  19. duh says:

    FaceHeadAss Says:

    She absolutely and totally knows who Adam is, and remembers everything that happened. Why lie in an anonymous forum?

    truth x 1000.

  20. Dr. Crock says:

    So instead of the junior business speak he should have started beating her and then kicked her out a window. There, problem solved. Immaturity meets immaturity.

  21. Duh x2 says:

    FaceHeadAss Says:

    She absolutely and totally knows who Adam is, and remembers everything that happened. Why lie in an anonymous forum?
    ———–
    truth x 1000.
    ———-

    TRUTH X 2000.

  22. bleepblorp says:

    from my experience, “need a few days to think about it” means ‘I’m going to also make out with a party slut so I can be smug and turn your insecurities for respect profit’

  23. raymeh says:

    change your relationship status to: DOOMED.

  24. busted says:

    He shoulda felt like a pussy for bringing around a chick that gets drunk and makes out with his buddy. If he doesn’t dump her ass, then he really IS a pussy.

  25. (not published or required) says:

    We need to all get together and FUCK this guy Adam up.

    Plus who in the fuck does vodka shots???? that shits crazy dude.
    i dont mind getting hammered on homemade croatian whateverthefuckitistheydrink, but vodka shots??? that is blackout drunk cantwalkoutthebar shit and unless the worlds about to end you dont really want to be in that state

  26. High says:

    high.school.

  27. b-Lah says:

    BF is at fault for not keeping track of her at his party. Until you’re married and have kids running around (and even after, to some extent), dating is the law of the jungle.

    If your girl is drunk you are not paying attention to her (“passed out”) at a party, she will be fooling around with some guy soon–if only because she’s pissed to be not payed attention to.. She didn’t have sex with Adam because she likes BF, but she has Adam’s contact info.

    Morals: 1) If you don’t want to pay close attention to your girl, don’t invite her out, and 2) be Adam occasionally and easily pick off ignored wives and girlfriends by giving them the attention they crave.

  28. b-Lah says:

    @Steveharvey just skims the surface..

    “The good news is that getting blackout drunk and making out with random dudes is much more fun than being in a relationship, for the most part, so enjoy it.”

    Enjoy this while you can. Seriously, it will need to sustain you from 40 on… Not that you can’t do it then, it’s just that it’s really sad.

  29. fuuu says:

    Once a drunk whore always a drunk whore. Just give in and accept it.

  30. peterpaul says:

    If she was too drunk to remember the party how/why did she walk home on her own? My dollar is on that as an excuse and she went home with Adam and bumped uglies…

  31. damn says:

    so what is adam doing tonight? go call him!

  32. Uland says:

    Your BF doesn’t believe you don’t remember any of it and you know you’re lying, it’s just that that little lie is the only way he could justify not dumping you and you know this, so you’re both dancing around it. Next time you do this, the lie won’t work, but I’m sure you’ll try anyhow. Call it quits now.Save yourself three weeks of fake drama ( or maybe that’s what you’re really after? OF course you are! You’re a 22 year old suburban girl who moved to Brooklyn FOR A REASON, DAMNIT!)

  33. DR says:

    Getting hammered and getting off with a guy infront of your bf’s friends at his own party! bwahahahahaha, you ruined your boys credibility forevs!


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