Posted by
Lesley Arfin
• 05.05.11 12:00 pm


I’m 25 and have been having sex on the regs since I was 17. I’ve pretty much always felt comfortable with my sexuality and have never allowed myself to be affected by society saying, “Oh, you had sex with three different guys this month? You’re a slut.”


Photograph from /RAKE

I’m 25 and have been having sex on the regs since I was 17. I’ve pretty much always felt comfortable with my sexuality and have never allowed myself to be affected by society saying, “Oh, you had sex with three different guys this month? You’re a slut.” Instead, I consider myself confident, empowered and in control. If I wanna have sex with someone, I’ll do it, and I won’t worry about what other people might think. If someone doesn’t agree with sexual liberation, then I don’t want to have them in my life anyway.

But I worry I might take it too far. I’m not a huge relationship person (I’ve had a couple of long-term boyfriends, but even those haven’t lasted more than a year and I’ve cheated on all of them, save for one), so most of the people I sleep with are either friends or people I’m casually dating, and I sleep with a new person relatively often.

I’ll give myself these pep talks when I’m going out with friends or on a date, like, “Okay, you’re going to the bar. Don’t sleep with anyone tonight! You’ll probably make out and stuff, but keep your underwear on. Don’t give in! You can do it!” But more often than not, when I bring a dude home, I’ll end up overwhelmingly horny and unable to resist. Do you have any tips on how to keep my pants on?

Thanks,
-LBJ

Dear LBJ,

I’m glad you wrote me. I went through a phase when I was around the same age as you. I was a bit different though, because while I was convincing myself that I was “empowered and in control,” it was really just a cover up for my low self esteem and I knew it even then. I was so scared to say “no” that I convinced myself that saying “yes” was a choice I was making. My insecurity was so great that every time I did something I didn’t really want to do, I rationalized my way out of it. I cheated on my boyfriend? “Yeah, but we weren’t that happy anyway.” I hooked up with a guy who had a girlfriend? “Yeah, but she’s a bitch.” For every “Yeah, but…” I have, my self esteem continues to plummet until all I’m left with is a bunch of “Yeah, buts…” written in cursive in my journal while I’m sitting home alone on a Friday night with a box of tissues. Oh, why me?! Why me?! All my denial puts baby in a corner. I’m the baby. It’s not fun.

Then comes the making up rules and constantly breaking them. When we start trying to control ourselves or capping our behavior, that’s when we know we’re in trouble. Every time I made up a rule for myself, I broke it. The rule itself became more of a guarantee that I would do that one thing. “Don’t drink tonight” meant I was almost definitely going to get wasted. It was because I wasn’t “empowered,” but rather powerless. Maybe some people love having crazy will power and white knuckling their way through life, and those people are probably like, ex hardcore kids who would’ve joined the army if they weren’t vegan or whatever. That’s cool, but that’s not me, and I’m not ashamed to admit it either — I. Have. No. Will. Power. Every time I make a rule, I break the rule, and then feel even shittier than I did before the rule. For me, it’s a constant cycle. So then I just remove the rule altogether and go full throttle. This leads me to bottoming out. And that’s where you need to be.

I think to start with, allow yourself to admit that maybe sex isn’t a casual thing for you. If it was, you wouldn’t cheat and you wouldn’t need to slut it up because you wouldn’t care about it all that much. But you do, and it seems like it gives you something more than just an orgasm (I’m actually willing to bet you don’t even have orgasms that much). Start by accepting that. Try to be honest and maybe say, “Well, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t say no, so maybe this ‘thing’ has more power over me than I thought.” Because guess what? It’s fine. It doesn’t mean you have to stop or start having sex. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It means that you’re actually quite brave and — uh oh — a totally average human being. We all feel this way sometimes. And we all feel gooey feelings, especially when it comes to sex.

I had a hard time saying no to boys because I was afraid of what would happen if I did. Would they get mad at me? Yell at me? Would I never get this chance again? Was I blowing it… forever? The answer to those questions should be NO, and if the boy does get mad, then you tell him to go fuck himself. That’s empowerment. Sex is a gift to be used and celebrated, but don’t confuse it with something that should be taken lightly. What book did you read that told you empowerment comes from sleeping around and not caring? Do you know what your body is capable of doing? Healing itself from diseases that used to kill people. Bruising and bending instead of shattering into a million pieces. We lay out in the sun for hours and don’t melt. We shed water from our eyes when we’re sad, and make a funny noise that starts in the pit of our stomach when we think something is funny. Who does that?!?! We do! Do you know how awesome that is? Never mind the fact that when a penis or tongue or finger goes into our vaginas, we start to feel like sparkly little butterflies that live inside harmonicas.

I realize this sounds super hippie of me but I’m not gonna apologize for thinking my body is something that I ought to handle with care and respect. I don’t know you, but I’d like to believe you wear sunblock, eat vegetables, drink water and don’t throw yourself into a moving train on the daily. In other words, you love your body. This is a good thing. Your body deserves your love. That’s why God gave us Barbie dolls when we were little girls and showed us how to have an orgasm by rubbing her legs into our little vaginas. How awesome was that?

This was a long-winded answer but only because I don’t think “Just Say No” is the simple solution. You don’t have to fuck someone to get them to like you. You don’t have to fuck someone in order to get off. Don’t you know that prolonging this stuff is the best part anyway? Sometimes I think we get so wrapped up in trying to prove society wrong by going against it, that we forget that maybe “society” was on to something. Or at least we forget how to honor ourselves because we were too busy trying to not conform to what normal people do.

As I’ve gotten older it turns out that mainstream ideals are actually onto something. You know what rules? Having a job with health insurance. You know what doesn’t rule? Having the first Archers of Loaf album on colored vinyl. Another thing that rules: sleeping with people who care about me and I, them. What doesn’t rule: Having HPV and abnormal pap smears every sixth months and the fear that I might have cervical cancer and oh, I don’t know, die from it?

Forget whatever it is you think you know about using sex as something to empower you, and start being true to what you think and feel. I think it’s time for a breather. You seem to have already agreed. And you’ll keep your pants on, not by sheer willpower, but when you finally admit that you have none. The consequences will catch up eventually until it’s something that you just want to do. Don’t forget that until then, you always have a choice, even if your wet vagina is telling you differently.

xx
-LESLEY ARFIN
LesleyArfin.com
CafeconLesley.BlogSpot.com

Send “Ask Barf” letters / replies to AskBarf@StreetCarnage.com (include photos!)


Comments
  1. Anonymous says:

    maybe she just really likes sex – so hard to believe, i know – and her attempts at creating rules are her efforts at trying to conform to society’s expectations (which she can’t quite let go) even though she knows they’re not for her. first, she needs to ask herself why it’s important to her that she “keeps her pants on.” whose voice is that? sure doesn’t sound like hers based on her description of herself.

    how about she lets go of shame regarding number of sex partners and actually gives herself permission to enjoy herself? like any guy in that position would do.

    guys are reading this and going 1. wtf 2. why can’t that be my fucking problem in life?

  2. Anonymous says:

    also: always use a condom. always.

  3. stephen says:

    this was an awesome one.

  4. Ames says:

    She has a great relationship with her parents. Especially her mom.

  5. CREAM says:

    “Sex is a gift to be used and celebrated”

    Lesley, when did you become Gwyneth Paltrow?

    Yours,

    A Concerned Fan

  6. FaceHeadAss says:

    I want Barf to be my sponsor.

  7. .... says:

    This was really good advice. I think you especially nailed the fact that mainstream ideals become more important as we get a little older.

  8. .... says:

    comments are now moderated :O

  9. iwontslowdown says:

    “I consider myself confident, empowered and in control.”

    followed by [paraphrasing] “i can’t control myself”

    typical female logic

  10. damn says:

    OMG i fucking LOVE LOVE LOVE barf!!!!!! i cant tell you how much i appreciate you writing this out

  11. Herstorian says:

    “Gloria Steinem said that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. And now she’s married to a wealthy guy. So what does that say to you?

    Everybody, if they’ve got their head on straight, wants to be a sexual object, among other things. They want to be attractive. Otherwise, what a sad and pathetic life. To really live a worthwhile life is to be attracted to and attractive to other people.

    In the 1950s and ’60s, there were still states that outlawed birth control, so I started funding court cases to challenge that. At the same time, I helped sponsor the lower-court cases that eventually led to Roe v. Wade. We were the amicus curiae in Roe v. Wade. I was a feminist before there was such a thing as feminism. That’s a part of history very few people know.”

    Read more: http://www.esquire.com/features/what-ive-learned/ESQ0602-JUN_WIL#ixzz1LV9qEI6G

  12. Anonymous says:

    This response wasn’t very sex positive of you and it was actually kind of heteronormative. Why don’t you dedicate your time to creating a safe space instead of a hate space. Maybe you should have suggested that she get involved with polyamory and own her sexuality. Maybe she should join a group for Womyn who examine their Vaginas in the mirror and discuss their labia.

  13. JJ says:

    But that first Archers of Loaf record is the best one!

  14. Anonymous says:

    “This response wasn’t very sex positive of you and it was actually kind of heteronormative. Why don’t you dedicate your time to creating a safe space instead of a hate space. Maybe you should have suggested that she get involved with polyamory and own her sexuality. Maybe she should join a group for Womyn who examine their Vaginas in the mirror and discuss their labia.”

    I lol’d, good sir.

  15. Name says:

    Well, I think you should probably…………….
    Pssh, who the fuck am I kidding I don’t give a shit.

  16. boobies says:

    LOL this line was awesome “That’s why God gave us Barbie dolls when we were little girls and showed us how to have an orgasm by rubbing her legs into our little vaginas.”

  17. Anonymous says:

    That’s nice advice, but now let’s be serious. If you actually want to make sure you don’t end up sleeping with anybody, there is only one way: stop with the brazilians and the shaving and don’t go anywhere where you might meet some hippy dude who appreciates au naturel. The shame factor of having a huge bush will be way more effective in keeping your pants on than any fear of pregnancy, disease, or “not valuing your body.”

  18. Col Klink says:

    I stopped reading at ’empowered’

  19. bolo says:

    glad I’m a guy.

  20. Saywhat says:

    >”Or at least we forget how to honor ourselves because we were too busy trying to not conform to what normal people too.” – L.A.

    This is the sound of one who is honoring herself right now.

  21. pogi says:

    LBJ must be good at BJs

  22. Saywhat says:

    BTW, is that last word in the quoted text in my previous post a typo?

    I get excited whenever I find a typo!:O

  23. Arv says:

    @Saywhat: It is. Touche.

  24. Anonymous says:

    If you like this, you will LOVE Black Snake Moan

  25. Hunk Williams, Jr. says:

    Another slut-shaming advice columnist…cool. Anonymous’s (1st poster) response was waaaay better.

  26. "A REGULAR GUY" says:

    I’m a dude and wish I had the problem of having sex with 3 different chicks this month

    in fact I feel less confident, empowered and out of control because I am lucky if I have sex with three different chicks a year

    I guess men and women really are the opposite. but maybe we could set up some sort of arrangement

  27. (not published or required) says:

    iwontslowdown Says:

    “I consider myself confident, empowered and in control.”

    followed by [paraphrasing] “i can’t control myself”

    typical female logic”

    Shazam. Being a human being is a fucking weird thing. Its weird as shit.

  28. The Fool says:

    Great advice Lesley. Enjoyed this.

  29. Erin says:

    Frightened of the future. Haunted by the past.

    :-(

  30. Anonymous says:

    “Do you know what your body is capable of doing? Healing itself from diseases that used to kill people. Bruising and bending instead of shattering into a million pieces. We lay out in the sun for hours and don’t melt. We shed water from our eyes when we’re sad, and make a funny noise that starts in the pit of our stomach when we think something is funny.”

    I actually threw up in my mouth a bit when I read that.

    This website is on some sort of hypnotic family values Republichristian crusade, I;m sure of it. Like the Juggalo chaps turning round and saying “hey we’re actually Christian, we fooled you guys”.

  31. (not published or required) says:

    ^ Thanks for that.

    If you or anyone you know has recently had a dream about spiders could you please let me know in the comments below.

    thx.

  32. Anonymous says:

    “This website is on some sort of hypnotic family values Republichristian crusade, I;m sure of it. Like the Juggalo chaps turning round and saying “hey we’re actually Christian, we fooled you guys.”

    bingo!

  33. Cap'n Stump-Laden says:

    ^^nah, Barf’s’s just turning into that Salon.com advice-giver Cary Tennis. He has free self-editorial rein too, and he gets all gaggingly purple too. Must be occupational syndrome. The drift toward poesy excess is understandable, because well-practiced real ethics are inneffably complex. The other, consciously brisk, route for example Slate.com’s ‘Dear Prudence’ or ubergay Dan Savage, are glib, shallow, and wholly unsatisfying. I admire Barf’s fortitude, and the girls love her, and lord knows this site needs all the courageous women readers it can get who can handle its prevailing growly testosteronic atmosphere and directness of argument.

  34. clif says:

    do I really have to be the first guy to say “where ARE these girls?” I guess I need to follow the yellow brick road, and by yellow I mean china white.

  35. Jesus Christ! says:

    you whores.
    .
    .

  36. Almost bought it says:

    @boobies the barbie line wasn’t awesome, it creeped me out…big time. I had to read it 3 times to be sure I wasn’t reading it wrong. That’s f’d up, man. Really f’d up.

  37. Mesopotamia Jones says:

    >”And you’ll keep your pants on, not by sheer willpower, but when you finally admit that you have none.” – L.A.

    Lalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  38. Bright Sparkly Unicorns says:

    It shocked me, too, when G.S. married.

    But it confirms the theory that well-endowed men go for bra-less smart chicks.

  39. Cap'n Stump-Laden says:

    “endowed”? in the wallet, you mean?

  40. Bright Sparkly Unicorns says:

    @Cap’n S-L:

    Ahoy, mate ~

    Here is an example of a well-endowed gentleman: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7viQ2oFopGs. I believe his endowment is his passion for his art which happens to be music.

    There is an authenticity to this musical expression that is appealing.

    (Archers of Loaf is also worthy.)

    Second, Gloria S. waited 30 years to get married.

    It is probably unfair to her to assume the reason(s) why she married the man she married. But she waited, according to the literature, because the institution of marriage had to change in order to suit her lifestyle of independence.

    (I know, it is paradoxical to think that marriage is an institution that can allow for independence, but G.S., at one time, likened marriage to slavery.)

    By the way, isn’t it inspiring to know that this woman was recognized by her lover and her peers for her talents (hint).

    Similarly, Hugh Hefner has been lauded for his gifts. (Perhaps more than Gloria Steinem, though.)

    Gloria and Hef are certainly well-endowed. However, I wouldn’t know about what they keep in their wallet. (Condoms?)

    This brings me to my third comment, you write: ” ‘endowed’? in the wallet, you mean?”

    To answer your question, I meant “well-endowed”, like, as in gifted with an anatomy that would please a horny, braless, smart chick. Please accept my apology if my comment made you uncomfortable.

    Many of the people on this blog are funny, meaning they have a sense of humor. If some of them, or all of them are genuinely your friends, then you are lucky to know them.

    If there is anything that can be gleaned from “Ask Barf: How Do I Keep My Pants On?” it seems to be that it is not impossible to have a well-rounded – well-endowed life. And condoms.

    What does a well-endowed life look like to you, I wonder?

    (G’night.)

  41. Zit-pocked 17 year old loser says:

    How do you keep your pants on????

    Go on a date with me .

  42. anon says:

    nympho

  43. quincy jones illuminati says:

    zzz zzz zzz zzzzzzzzzz

  44. “Never mind the fact that when a penis or tongue or finger goes into our vaginas, we start to feel like sparkly little butterflies that live inside harmonicas,” might be the best thing you’ve ever written.

  45. Richard says:

    You’ll keep your pants on once you get herpes, believe me.

  46. Unicorns & Butterflies says:

    Vibe it!

    From the album:”Boys and Girls”: http://youtu.be/33_Ve18q1r4

  47. Evan says:

    I have to be honest, I could have a one night stand and not feel shitty about it but I’m a guy. Men and women are different. 99% of the time, girls who slut around have low self esteem. People want to argue against this because it’s just “society” trying to control you but… It’s true. There are biological reasons for all this. Back when we were all living in caves if a girl had sex it better have been with someone who liked her, or he’d fuck off and then she’d have to raise that baby alone. Also the thing about low self esteem making it harder to have orgasms is defo true. Girls who feel bad about themselves don’t, on a subconscious level, feel like they deserve that pleasure. I like this article, it all rings true with my experiences with women and I’ve read a lot into this kinda thing. Huzzah.

  48. Anonymous says:

    you guys need to do some reading. studying the behavior of people in new york bars is not going to give you the answers you seek regarding social conditioning and biological imperative’s effects on shaping human sexuality.

    http://sexatdawn.com/page1/page17/page27/files/b3f5fb0d08a009bdf10562d21c1364d9-7.html

  49. DickWhipped says:

    don’t listen to all of the HATERS, girl! you gave right-on advice!

    in this age of H-P-V –where 80% of sexually active 18-40 year olds are infected with this virus, it turns out that now 75% of all throat/mouth cancers in DUDES is from HPV.

    so if all the sexist/diseased dicks out there didn’t give a fuck before that they’re causing sexually “liberated” chicks to have to get pap-smears and painful biopsies every six months for the REST OF THEIR LIVES in order o try to avoid dying of CERVICAL CANCER, then maybe ya’ll will at least give a flying fuck that it turns out that the majority of all throat/mouth cancers diagnosed in DUDES nowadays is from HPV, and NOT from smoking. fucking-A!

    grow a pair and stop being ignorant douchebags.

    condoms do NOT prevent the spread of HPV because it’s simply spread from skin on skin contact, you frickin’ lame morons.

    “liberated” homegirl needs to stop being an insecure horn-dog who puts out for selfish douches who never call her again and probably never give her orgasms.

    it’s not worth dealing with the HPV painful, dangerous, and annoying curse for the rest of her life.

    PEACE!

  50. fuckface says:

    ah street carnage, you’re still here and you’re still batshit insane. I love you all.

  51. Anonymous says:

    @DickWhipped

    actually made some legitimate points but nonetheless a condom is effective close to 70%, if women would ever demand that men fucking wear them.

  52. Uland says:

    Another reason to adapt to social norms re: sex has to do with the fact that no matter how fake-enlightened a dude pretends to be, there will always be something going on in the pit of his stomach telling him that a girl who’s slept with so many guys can’t be trusted. No biggie if you’re in your early 20’s and can’t imagine a future beyond getting wasted with your roomates every night. But that shit’ll be over with real quick. You probably already halfway hate it.
    So, yeah, have fun when the guy you really see yourself with figures out you’ve blown a hundred dudes.

    And yeah, it is sort of a double standard for guys. Some women don’t want guys who’ve been with a lot of women. Some women want a shot at being the special one that he stops fucking other people for. But ultimately, you can argue about the rationality of all of it, but the shit is wired too deep for that. There isn’t a culture on Earth that values loose women over the virginal.

  53. Anonymous says:

    “So, yeah, have fun when the guy you really see yourself with figures out you’ve blown a hundred dudes.”

    what kind of moron tells a guy whose fragile ego obviously can’t handle it (that would be most men) that she’s blown or fucked hundreds of men? lol, like most women ever reveal close to the true number. god, men are such fucking slaves to their delusional egotistical needs. that’s how you fucking adapt to norms, you LIIIIIEEEEEE and pretend to be embarrassed while admitting to some ridulously small number.

  54. Uland says:

    He’ll find out. People who hook up are usually part of the same social scene. It always comes out.
    And it’s really not about a fragile ego, it’s about not being able to trust she won’t fuck another guy. It’s pretty simple. It’s pretty childish to imagine that it’s not a normal concern, but yeah, I get your rationalizations are just too tempting. Casual sex is usually pretty fun, I get it. But that doesn’t mean it’s not going to have real consequences. Pretend all you want you’re above it; it’ll be harder to pull off when you’re sitting alone at the bar when you’re 35.

  55. Halfrican says:

    Preach it sister! (Anonymous above) Lie Lie Lie.

  56. Uland says:

    And yeah, we all know the numbers are fudged, but if the real number is 20, you’ll never get away with saying it’s 4. If the real number is 150, 20 just isn’t going to work; Shit comes up. I’ve lived with the same girl for 8 years, and you eventually learn almost everything, I promise.

  57. Uland says:

    Your strong reaction to what is a pretty well understood just proves my point, really; you ladies all know there is some value in not being a slut. Like in pure social-capital terms, you know it’s going to harm you down the road. Admitting that yeah, I should just not fuck so many guys is the same as admitting that your value has dropped.

  58. Halfrican says:

    Uland, not so much if you remain true to the adage: “don’t shit where you eat.”

  59. Uland says:

    Maybe. I mean, you can always start over in a new town, but presumably you’re gonna meet the guy in the same way you met all the guys before him. He’s already gonna know based on those initial meetings that you’re a certain kind of girl, and he’s going to know people you know, etc.,etc.,.
    I mean, a girl going incognito into a social scene she’s not a part of in order to sleep with a stranger; that’s getting into seriously weird territory. Girls got some issues.
    So yeah, that girl settling down with a guy who has no idea; he’ll probably figure it out the hard way.

  60. Uland says:

    Look, no one is saying you shouldn’t have sex. I think everybody fucks around a little bit when they’re 22 and get to finally live out their teen fantasies of being an “empowered” woman ( or a dude that gets blown by those girls. He loves your empowerment, promise.). That’s normal.
    But I know I’d be pretty wary of someone who hasn’t had most of their sex in relatively stable monogamous relationships. You’re asking for trouble. It’s just a fact.

  61. Anonymous says:

    sweetie, men lie to women too. you think most men tell the women they want to get serious with that they hooked up with hundreds of random, skanky women? oh lord, you’re either 16 years old or in a deep pile of denial.

    again, there are exceptions to the rule (both men and women) and i wish it weren’t that way, but most people can’t handle/don’t want the truth.

  62. Halfrican says:

    But what’s a slut? A number, an attitude? What if you possess a higher number, but not the visual markings, or behavioural characteristics of a ‘slut.’ What happens if the girl is not a flirt, dresses demurely, has immigrated from another Anglo-saxon enclave, how could you ever really tell?

    So a girl with a higher number of dudes boned is automatically going to cheat? Is that “finding out the hard way?” Meaning, that there is a correlation between the amount of dudes slept with, with the propensity to cheat? Might be true in some circumstances, but in others, no. And that is what gets dudes balls all up in a bind, that girl.

  63. Uland says:

    Anon— I’m not getting into sex war here. I fully understand that men lie. Everyone lies. It comes down to what kind of lies are believable from a given person, why we lie and how long we can keep them up.
    The reason no one can handle the truth is that everyone knows anyone who’s been really slutty is probably going to continue to be really slutty; so yeah, you often can’t “handle” that and keep a serious relationship going with someone.
    I promise I’m older than you. I’m getting the feeling that the stuff I’m writing is the kind of stuff you can’t really get with until you’ve lived a little bit. I’m really not trying to be rude. I think it’s true.

  64. Uland says:

    Halfrican— Yeah, I think there absolutely is a correlation between number slept with and potential for cheating. It’s a no-brainer. It’s obvious.

    Of course there can be women who hide sluttiness really well. Some people are really good liars, but if they keep it up, it’s only a matter of time. Even if they don’t, what kind of life is that? It’s a recipe for misery.

    And yeah, like I wrote, you can move to a new town, but you’ll eventually want to move out of that one too, and probably for the same reasons.

  65. Uland says:

    This isn’t just a guy thing. Nobody tells a girl who’s worried about her boyfriend cheating that she needs to put her ego on ice for a while.

  66. Uland says:

    — And you would worry if he was cheating if you found out he got blown by a hundred women.

  67. Uland says:

    Last word: We’re all pieces of shit and it’s all about managing your shitiness so it doesn’t interfere with your ability to live the kind of life you want down the road. You can’t really imagine the consequences when you’re young; that’s exactly what certain social norms are there for. They don’t make sense until they do.

  68. Anonymous says:

    “I promise I’m older than you. I’m getting the feeling that the stuff I’m writing is the kind of stuff you can’t really get with until you’ve lived a little bit.”

    what are you, all of 32 or something? try again.

    let me tell you a little secret: both men and women are willing to deny the obvious (that their sweet little mate is/was a sluttyslutbag ho) if their partner is great in bed and loves having sex with them. people who really enjoy sex and are skilled at it have had lots and lots and lots of it.

    “And you would worry if he was cheating if you found out he got blown by a hundred women.”

    been there, done that. no. i was just grateful that he knew how to grab my hair and tell me what i liked to hear while i was doing it. he learned that from being blown by many a dirty little slut. men who are good in bed are few and far between and i’ve yet to meet the man who could blow me away sexually who hadn’t obviously had lots and lots and lots of experience.

    this is boring now. done.

  69. littleliza says:

    @dickwhipped: as a female, I hate it when dudes assume girls always want the guy to call them back. fyi, sometimes girls use guys for sex.

  70. SLuts is GroSS but goOd For fucking... says:

    Some girls are fun, but then they break down when they have nothing left to give to someone special. Some girls don’t want anything special, ever. Madonna seems emotionally stable and perfectly happy and didn’t she get the ball rolling on this whore thing for the MTv generations? I like whores. They are easy to get along with and fun. But sometimes I feel gross going down on them or waking up next to them.

  71. Why? says:

    Why does 70 always have to come after 69?


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