Posted by
Lesley Arfin
• 05.18.10 12:27 pm


I guess I will start with my question to put this situation into some context: How would you want to be approached by a girl? If assuming you would even want that is too much, I guess I would phrase it like: What approach do you think would work best on you?


[Photo courtesy of Titty City]

I guess I will start with my question to put this situation into some context: How would you want to be approached by a girl? If assuming you would even want that is too much, I guess I would phrase it like: What approach do you think would work best on you?

I’m gay and have a crush on a girl who I am pretty positive is straight (you don’t have to tell me that’s my first problem, usually I know better). I don’t know this girl but see her on occasion near my work, and because she’s sort of perfect looking, I feel like I need to ask her out. I live in a pretty progressive city, which is great because that means a lot of people here “aren’t into labels,” but I guess my small problem is that people never think I am gay, so it makes approaching/assessing a situation more difficult.

Annnnyway, what do you think? Number it up and hope for the best?

Sincerely,
-GET IT TOGETHER

Dear Get It Together,

Guy or girl, it doesn’t matter. For me specifically, I need to be approached with confidence. Flirt with her! Don’t be a pussy. I know a lot of straight girls who like to take strolls over the homo rainbow. Don’t worry about her rejecting you, worry about going for what you want because you want it, you deserve it, and you’re the catch. Worse that can happen is she’s not into it. So? What then? Nothing. You move on to the next crush.

I’m saying this as advice to you right now, but I need to hear it too. Aren’t you sick of doubting yourself and wondering “what if?” and kicking rocks and feelin’ bummed? I am. So let’s just make a deal with each other not to feel that way anymore. It’s easy. Let’s do what we want and go for what we want, and if it doesn’t work out, let’s promise ourselves we won’t take it for personal. Most of the time rejection is protection. Let’s see it like that.

Get a million crushes, smooch girls, and act like you’re wearing a leather motorcycle jacket even when you’re not. Here’s to a great fucking summer.

xx
-LESLEY ARFIN
LesleyArfin.com
CafeconLesley.BlogSpot.com

Send “Ask Barf” letters / replies to SBTVC@StreetCarnage.com


Comments
  1. Dragler says:

    tell her you are a famous photographer then pressure her into getting naked/ having sex with you.

  2. homeless says:

    erection city!

  3. Anonymous says:

    those girls are hot

  4. M says:

    @ Dragler….that HAS to work. It cannot not work. Sage advice.

  5. HeartARF says:

    Fucking thank you Lesley for the pep talk. We all need to hear that shit once in awhile.

  6. god says:

    haha – dammit dragler, you could build a sham empire on that shit…

  7. FEDERAL COME says:

    You know, i didn’t read any of the crap you wrote up there, as i assume it is some Smart Girl Stuff™ which really really does not interest me, but while i was masturbating to the picture above, i though to myself – “This is a pretty good website, when they put up sapphically charged image files and stop acting like they care about brown people”

    Then I Ejaculated. Awesome.

  8. Terry Richardson's Left Nut says:

    ^^Worked for us!

  9. askedbarf says:

    deal.

  10. seriouslynow says:

    titty city (tittay cittay) is the shit.

  11. Felonious Dump says:

    sweet Nioxin bottle in the shower.

  12. Pee says:

    One on the right just broke the Kittenometer.

  13. -GET IT TOGETHER says:

    YOU GUYS DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT MY PROBLEM!
    YOU JUST CARE ABOUT THE SWEET SET OF MEAT BAGS THAT I CAN’T STOP LOOKING AT EITHER.

  14. Terry Richardson's Right Nut says:

    hey kids

    you don’t even need to be famous. 8 out of 10 of girls want you to take photos of them with no clothes on. you just have to say you are a photographer. it’s fucking crazy. it’s weird because it seems like the creepiest thing you could do, but it works most of the time. I think it’s because we live in such a photo saturated world that everyone just assumes nude photos of them are going to end up on the internet anyway, so might as well do it up with good lighting and coy faces and other semi-pro features.

  15. boredom. says:

    um, can we get arfin on titty city.

  16. Smelly says:

    I feel flattered when I’m hit on by a gay dude even though I’m not gay.

    So I say go for it. Worse case is that they reject you and set you on fire.

  17. rob-omb says:

    those titties are ay-may-zing.

  18. Terry Richardson's Left Nut says:

    ^^^In other words, work’d for us!

  19. BlackStabbath says:

    great advice. great tits.

  20. thank youuuuuuuu (4 boobies 2) says:

    A-Fucking-Men! Such great advice, it’s time to follow it!

  21. Grow the Fuck Up, Already says:

    Isn’t Arfin thirty-one years old? Why do her articles read like they were written by a fifteen year old?

  22. sharon says:

    Act like you’re wearing a leather motorcycle jacket even when you’re not. Here’s to a great fucking summer.

  23. Total Scumbag says:

    yeeeeeeeah…

  24. Scott Baio's Wife says:

    Unnnnnghhhhh I am so so gay right now. That picture is so beautiful that I want to cry and also touch myself.

  25. sable says:

    lesley can i marry you

  26. tus papa says:

    LESLEY ARFIN GIRL AFTER MY HEART YOU GIVE THE BEST ADVICE THANKS.

  27. Narwhals says:

    Jesus Christ, those tits.

  28. Kunkel says:

    Dear Carnage,
    thanks for titties on the front page. I wish my job involved snorting cocaine, fucking my hot Pocahantas wife, and ejaculating shit all over the keyboard.
    signed, cubicle tears

  29. wtf says:

    greatest picture ever…. SERIOUSLY


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