Posted by
• 07.24.15 02:43 pm


I find my wife way more attractive at 41 than when I met her at 29. Women are more attractive when they’ve accrued some life experience, especially kids. In fact, I don’t find twenty-somethings attractive. 

Most sane dads are like this which is why MILF is the number one porn search in America. I grew up lusting women in their 30s. Like these bitches.

Catherine Bach was 31 when the Dukes of Hazard ended but for us she was just beginning.


Olivia Newton-John was 31 here.


So is this chick

Raquel Welch was 38 when we saw her on The Muppet Show and got our first boners. We worshipped her well into her 40s.



Women who try look better in their 30s and 40s than they did in their 20s. Here are some extreme examples. #BBB

Young Kennedy (gag me with a spoon)



“old” Kennedy



Young Kimberly Guilfoyle


“old” Kimberly Guilfoyle


and finally, young Carrie Brownstein


40-year-old Carrie Brownstein



Anyway, my column on the subject is HERE

UPDATE: I forgot Chloe Sevigny and M.I.A.

M.I.A. as a young woman


and as a 38-year-old mom


Chloe Sevigny was 21 in Kids



and now she’s 40


  1. Billy Gutsgruff says:

    AKA “Modern celebrities have better styling than those of the 80s.” Groundbreaking stuff.

    My senior class just had its 25 year reunion and every single woman in attendance was a counter to your argument here. Not to mention that you’ve written other articles about how young women are more objectively attractive.

  2. Hooey Davis says:

    Chrissy Amphlett: fantastic set of tits. RIP.

  3. joeyjoejoe says:

    Women peak at about 24. Men peak about 27. Anyone saying differently is kidding themselves, or in gavin’s case looking at photoshops of people already caked in makeup.

    If you take good care of yourself and have the means to maintain a relatively low stress lifestyle the decline can be quite slow, but maybe 10% of Americans seem to pull that off. Most 35 y.o. Americans I see look like rewarmed shit.

  4. Ghetto Defendant says:

    Are you living on the couch this week because of the recent episodes of the show? This reads like you’re speaking to one, particular, person.

  5. ??? says:

    I concur. I look way better now than I did as a 20 something. I think it has a lot to do with confidence, maturity and a strong drive to stay attractive for my husband, post 35 and kids. My tits took a bit of a hit though. Breastfeeding will do that…but totally worth it.

  6. OogaBooga says:

    Jesus fucking Christ.

  7. TJ says:

    Kennedy was (and is) the quintessential dork hot. Those women are VERY hard to bag IRL. A lot of them wind up with gender-identity issues and become hard core Lesbians.

  8. dingbat says:

    If you get rich, you look better.

  9. thepulloutking says:

    This is what is referred to as “self-serving bias.”

    You can’t be with young women. So you might as well decide you prefer what you’ve got.

    It might fool you, maybe even fool your wifey, but it’s not fooling anyone else.

  10. MoistAngst says:

    I’m gonna have to disagree when it comes to Kimberly Guilfoyle. She was much hotter in her youth. She’s still ridiculously fuckable for her age though. Carrie Brownstein is considered hot now? Hmmm… Sorry, but I’m just not seeing it.

  11. cdestroy says:

    Cognitive dissonance theory is founded on the assumption that individuals seek consistency between their expectations and their reality. Because of this, people engage in a process called dissonance reduction to bring their cognitions and actions in line with one another. This creation of uniformity allows for a lessening of psychological tension and distress. According to Festinger, dissonance reduction can be achieved in four ways.[1] In an example case where a person has adopted the attitude that they will no longer eat high fat food, but eats a high-fat doughnut, the four methods of reduction are:

    Change behavior or cognition (“I will not eat any more of this doughnut”)
    Justify behavior or cognition by changing the conflicting cognition (“I’m allowed to cheat every once in a while”)
    Justify behavior or cognition by adding new cognitions (“I’ll spend 30 extra minutes at the gym to work this off”)
    Ignore or deny any information that conflicts with existing beliefs (“This doughnut is not high in fat”)

  12. Joey says:

    Ok, then why is MILF the number one porn search in America?

  13. raymi says:

    yes yes old puss!

  14. The Eye Test says:

    Kennedy is “sexy”, like Burger King is “gourmet”.

    Really, just stop.

  15. TJ says:

    She’s mad hot.
    Ironically enough, your comparison is apt, just inverted.
    She is sexy to people who probably have a higher degree of data-input when assessing these things.

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