Posted by
• 01.05.09 03:23 pm

Like chocolate flavored manna from the gods, news out of Harvard Medical School that ass fat might be a key component to overall health had chubby girls the world over rejoicing.

Like chocolate flavored manna from the gods, news out of Harvard Medical School that ass fat might be a key component to overall health had chubby girls the world over rejoicing. Specifically, the copious quantities of subcutaneous fat found in a big ass seem to help fight diabetes. While dietary carte blanche is nice news to the Lane Bryant set it’s never been a worry in Jamaican dance halls or University cafeterias where the “freshmen fifteen” has been packing asses into ever tighter jeans for generations.

So gals let out the waistband, supersize your caloric intake and prepare for a long life but know that until waifish supermodels start having their twigs amputated due to diabetes, most of us will stick with the the tried and true trim line. They’re just easier to pedal home from the bar on the back of your bicycle.

In the interest of science here are the prototypes for a healthy big ole butt and all you chubby male Street Carneys out there remember, “You can’t drive a rail spike with a tack hammer.”

  1. Ugly says:

    Lord God, the sight of them turns me into a salivating wolf. I went to bury my nose in them.

  2. Joese says:

    where the white women at?

  3. srsly says:

    OH more pics, more pics!

  4. Lady friend says:

    Some girls just don’t have the ass gene. Boney skinny white girls.

  5. theyre trying too hard. says:

    that aint shit. jungle booty rulez 4eva.

  6. drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something says:

    trace is way funnier than gavin

  7. Anonymous says:

    jamaican dance hall ass is where it’s at.

  8. drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something says:

    Seeing Fergie’s ass above on the Today show reminds me you can watch an awesome clip on YouTube of the same performance. Skip to @2:48 in to watch her crawl around like a submissive little slave in front of a bunch of five-year olds. That’s great television.

    p.s. – she also does one-armed cartwheels during her other performance from that day, which left me with all kinds of negative feelings.

  9. Billy Joe Shaver says:

    Big butts are cute on 25 year olds. Older than that (unless fabulously wealthy) they are disgusting.

  10. ew says:

    what ever happened to the ass middle ground? nowadays its either androg agyness deyn types or ur sloppy kim kardashians. what ever happened to a round and perky, but not disproportionate , rear end.
    like the buttocks of the the young cindy crawford or all those other eighties hot chicks. its quality not quantity!

  11. drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something says:

    Billy Joe Shaver’s comment is marred by at least one common fallacy.

  12. Lubricated Rottweiler says:


    you sir are the ass master, you put into words what has been living in my heart for so long. you are the Ezra Pound of ass worship. praise to thee, and praise to Cindy Crawford’s ass.

  13. Big dick Nigga says:

    WTF is up wit dat last photo?

  14. Colin says:

    how dumb. this isn’t even interesting.

  15. Billy Joe Shaver says:

    My anaconda dont want none unless you got buns hon.

  16. CaptainQueef says:

    I would eat every single one of those asses

  17. Mike says:

    I think you could go bigger. Not complaining, this is a great start.

  18. ehokay says:

    chubby bitches feel like memory foam beds. ever fucked a memory foam bed? i think it’s the wave of the future. the bitches, not the beds.

  19. Spread the glove says:

    “trace is way funnier than gavin”

    If you mean gayer than gavin. then yes she is.

  20. FResh Rigavich says:


    You whities finally know whats up.

  21. FResh Rigavich says:

    Chubby is all the girls in Wisconsin, Ohio, Tennessee, the Carolinas, Arkansas, Iowa, etc.
    You know who you are, at Walmart, munching on a corn dog.

  22. Snaggle Tooth says:

    god damb it i love bug asssssssssssssss mmmmm….

  23. booty clap dick trigger says:

    you fucking faggot. thanks for fucking up the argument and confusing a lot of idiots!

    fat+chubby does not equal nice ass your jerk.

    nice ass comes from nice ass.

    fat+chubby will only yield proportinally bigger items like TITS and ASS, but you have to contend with big bellies, second chins and fat arms.

    now you can have a skinny boring white girl with a nice ass

    and at the same time you can have a curvy latina with a body that looks like her lower back said “fuck an ass” and connected directly to the backs of her thighs.

  24. fantastico says:

    Molto bene! Thank you very much for the pictures. That was wonderful.

  25. Emily H. says:

    I do not understand this post. Seems to be all about making fun of “chubby” Lane Bryant women, but the pictures are of slim, attractive women with small waists. This demonstrates that having a big ass isn’t about being a fatso with “supersized” food, so you just refuted your own argument.

  26. jonathan levine says:

    the proof is in the puddintang.

  27. jonathan levine says:

    you know how the sisterhood has secrets that they don’t or shouldn’t ever tell me (girls who talk about all the plastic surgery they want or will be wanting, i’m looking at you)?

    well, us men should keep our interest in big butts to ourselves. women need to be kept skinny and insecure. that way, when we start dating them, and they gain 15 pounds, they’ll still look good. if they come into the deal with those 15 pounds on, then we’re risking having a chubby girlfriend in 3 months.

  28. well... says:

    A number of the females up there have butt impants.

  29. boy george says:

    butt implants are very popular with transsexuals. be careful boys

  30. Jackson Polishperson says:

    I saw Kim Kardashian in public once. She has a very nice bottom.

    The Post article is the best piece of journalism of all time.

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