Posted by
• 11.09.09 01:56 pm

Holy Motherfucking Shit!
From Blognigger’s site: This is the first post I’ve typed in over a year. When I started this site 1.5 years ago, I did it as a spot for venting

Holy Motherfucking Shit!


From Blognigger’s site:

“This is the first post I’ve typed in over a year. When I started this site 1.5 years ago, I did it as a spot for venting about park slope, the neighborhood I finally got priced out of almost a year ago.

I did it as an alternative to getting stomach cancer thinking about that shit.

After that, I had a few great months trying to write some comedy which I’ve always been a big fan of, etc – but I’m not a writer. I like ideas. I like thoughts, but when it comes to writing them down and organizing them it’s like mental push-ups and I can’t stand it. That’s why I have two chins, because i can’t stand the gym. I want to tell people what I want my abs to look like, and then have them do the sit-ups.

When it became clear the site was getting popular (and don’t get me started on the reasons I believe this happened) it was too much for me to handle by myself. I’m a software engineer, and I love ideas, but I spend all day slaving over text files – I don’t want to do that at home too. Still, popularity is popularity, and i admit it felt good to have people paying attention to my ideas.

At that point, I enlisted Benjamin to start helping me – he’s a much better writer than I am and has a bizarre desire to spend his time agonizing over prose. Most people were able to tell that there was a shift in tone amongst other things, and they let us know, but I couldn’t have given less of a shit.

In my opinion, being a “writer” is a somewhat bizarre thing to want to be – it’s like being a coder – I predict that the assemblege of sentences will eventually be shipped off to India the way source code is now. I wouldn’t trade places with Benjamin in a million years, despite his hot wife and writing ability. I am grateful to him for taking my ideas and experiences and giving them a voice that was beyond my reach – especially when it came to Obama’s election, which was a time I was truly grateful to have this site. I worked very closely with him and a few other contributors at that point, and it was deeply and personally important to me.

We decided to kill blognigger at that point, for a lot of the same reasons we are doing it now. IT was only something EXTREMELY materialistc that made us bring it back, which proves that no matter how authentic you think you are, you sell out when the time as right, at least I did. I’m not going to talk about it here, but this ressurection was all wrapped up in the idea of “book agents” and “platforms” – shit you need to have if you’re going to write a book in 2009.

We resurrected it like a disgusting damaged Frankenstein, and the BN “brand” picked up steam on SBTVC, and finally I guess on twitter, at which point other comedy guys got involved as well. I hate twitter and would never TWEET anything – it’s EXTRA gay.

Cutting to the chase, Benjamin doesn’t want to do this shit anymore and neither do I. He doesn’t need my ideas even though his aren’t as good. He’ll get there. maybe. The twitter guys are having a great time, but we’re still going to pull the plug on all of it.

Neither of us like what Blognigger has become – a shill and a brand and an excuse. Benjamin doesn’t like writing a character when he has technically has his own shit to write. He’s gonna get up some balls and write as himself, where he’ll hopefully be able to speak freely even though he’s not black. I don’t think he’ll have the balls to be completely honest, if I was white I wouldn’t either, but it will be fun to watch.

I’m not writing books because I’m not a writer. I’m writing software. If I do have something humorous to share, I can write it myself but it won’t be posted here because blognigger is dead. If Benjamin is writing books or a screenplay or whatever, he doesn’t need the BN brand or to write a played-the-fuck-out character to do it.

Oldschoolers, we had a great time together, newschoolers, hope ya had some fun, though I couldn’t really get into the part you were around for. Sorry to sound like you were going on tour with van hagar, but yeah.

We’re very psyched to get this done.

-Robert Dobbs Jr”

Reposted from here.

  1. wha says:


  2. WTF? says:

    What the fuck!? His secretary quits so that’s it?

  3. t says:

    i think street carnage will lose half of its visitors, at least

  4. abe simpson says:

    lets see bens hot wife

  5. just a cunt hair away says:

    still better than anything Val posted.
    agree with abe, let’s see that hottie.

  6. bj says:

    Yeah i think this is the most important issue here: “abe simpson Says:

    lets see bens hot wife”

  7. Preck_ says:

    Hello. I am Preck. How are you? This is quite a departure for the Blognigger. It appears that we cannot really believe who is whom anymore. Like the famous “it was a dream” ending of the famous American television programme, Dallas, it becomes difficult to fully comprehend where end meets beginning in this somewhat infinite loop.



  8. lb says:

    what a travesty

  9. Anonymous says:

    i never understood the need for big goodbyes on the internet. and multiple goodbyes? who are you, brett favre? sometimes it is better to go quietly into the night and leave your readers wondering and wanting more. geez.

  10. Clayton. says:

    Uh, I guess I missed the BN boat.

  11. poopsmear says:


  12. Don says:

    we’ll see.

  13. trace says:

    Feels like when I was a kid and a fag pretending be a girl called me for months on end in the middle of the night to chat.

  14. Treetop says:

    I didn’t realize Gavin actually HAS a parenting website, I just thought that was a little barb aimed at his lame oldness. Old lameness?

  15. imyar says:

    so who the fuck was talking to me on twitter?

  16. Too Long says:

    Haha my old nemesis. I see you have finally thrown in the towel.

    It will be hard to find another opponent as worthy as you.

  17. just a cunt hair away says:

    @ Too Long: too long.

  18. Too Long says:

    Your name is too long.

  19. homeless. says:

    well played you pussies.

  20. tommy gun says:


  21. todd says:

    Vane$$a where you at, let’s celebrate

  22. trevorlahey says:

    who giiiives a fuck. im so sick of reading this guy’s whiny bullshit. i think “blognigger” is a pretty rad sounding name as well, but we dont need posts about him posting or possibly not posting… again

  23. drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something says:

    Downer. I liked that brand.

  24. Clayton. says:

    He’s like the Jay-Z of social media.

  25. Vane$$a says:

    I’m crying in a corner, cowering and suffering from the pwnage Jim Goad holds over me. See ya, blognigger. Getting ignored by you on gmail chat was one of the realest experiences of my life. Go now.

  26. Harry Cave says:

    Replace blognigger with “I Jizzed On My Food.” You know where to send the contract.

  27. Frank DeFalco says:

    You were my Blogbrother!

  28. BMG says:

    He was the best there ever was, and the best there ever will be.

  29. Cap'n Glitterfuzz says:

    Word, enjoy.

  30. snowboard with skateboarding tits says:

    this post and all of the comments are offensive, please delete them all.. fuck the whites!

  31. Dork says:

    Wow, drama! So, is Benjamin going to start writing a Wednesday rant to fill the void?

  32. skeptic says:

    The funny thing is, Benjamin is 10 times better than Blognigger. The post about his kids learning the alphabet is one of the funniest things on the web

  33. no. thanks. says:

    so then, black beatles is also dead?

    this is lame. gavin, gotdamnitt, you owe me something.

  34. Ol' Dirty Bastard says:


  35. GoodWork says:

    The Blognigger stuff was about 10% funny, 90% bullshit. Glad they’re done with it. Pretty sure everyone else already was.

    “He doesn’t need my ideas even though his aren’t as good.” Huh? If Benjamin can write an article half as funny as the one about his daughter being retarded from a lack of Seasame Street, I’ll be satisfied as fuck.

  36. JuCÍFEUR says:

    HUH… Who knew Blognigger’s dad is Bob Dobbs.

  37. whatever says:

    lies, Blognigger just moved to New Jersey and he’s too black too admit it.

  38. JAY says:

    Your right, twitter is EXTRA gay !

  39. Anonymous says:

    at least goad is real…

  40. Vane$$a says:

    Blognigger swiped the Bob Dobbs idea from me! What a horrible fucking day! I get no credit for nothing other than being a asshole! Some friends!

  41. Chin says:

    Ya’ll got your niggers confused, JR “Bob” Dobbs head is based on Trace. Texas much?

  42. fredMS says:

    i dont get what the black/white thing is about

  43. fortunate son says:


  44. Vane$$a says:

    You guys should take away that link to Blognigger Meets Vane$$a. I want him to go out on a high note. Let’s not remind people that he’s THE cadaverous lay of the internet chat craze.

  45. Sir Fagsalot says:

    Wow, finally a bit of vindication for being the sole voice of dissent from these columns the last couple of months, while everyone else just lapped it up

    The lesson, as always: you’re all a bunch of queer sheep

  46. Anonymous Too says:

    Here’s what I think happened: Blognigger was always Ty Hardaway literally dialing it in. Benjamin would transcribe and shape it then one day, Ben’s ego got big enough to say “You know what Ty? Do your own dirty work.” So he went out on his own.

  47. Donkey Kong says:

    So now everyone’s a bn hater? You’re gonna tell me the David Letterman post was wak?

    That was probably the best bn of all time, stop hatin.

  48. Vane$$a says:

    My favorite BN post was the one about crouching over the can. Memories.

  49. no. thanks. says:

    nah, all time best BN post was the one that talked about getting a cheap hand job at a massage parlor and feeling another dudes splooge on the inner part of the toilet paper roll he was handed to clean himself up.

  50. Vane$$a says:

    yeah, that’s a good one. the viagra one was high-quality too. he never understood that i only criticized him in order to even the tone of the comments. too much ass kissing from “fans” gets boring at a certain point. hatred is usually taken as a compliment by real artists. it’s probably best that he’s sticking to software. i LOVE it when people throw tomatoes at me. if you don’t get off on it, then you can’t take the heat, and you NEED to be able to take the heat.

  51. Anon says:

    I’m with GoodWork/skeptic. Let’s get Sesame Street dude up here – that post is golden.

  52. Penis Largo, DDS says:

    Seems like an awful lot of effort and deception went into making something completely fucking stupid.

  53. faggot says:

    i knew they changed writers that sucked


  55. Beefhello says:

    Its only a blog type thing but i feel like it my 5th birthday and i got “go bots” and a nunjah turkerls action figure. I want the real thing, you dick. behsh

  56. letter honkey says:

    BN’s posts: i read the first sentence or two, get bored and scroll down to the comments to judge if there is anything juicy to justify me going back and reading the article. not shockingly, after the first two or so comments, it is evident that the post sucks, so i further scroll down to write my comments. who the fuck writes this shit anyways? shane smith? more gavin please, that is why people go to streetcarnage, not for shits like blognig.

  57. My nig says:

    I knew he was white because he would say “nigga” way too much, and mad akwardly.

  58. sho nuff says:

    yer a dick for that 911 post. i was teary and shit. fuck your comedy.

  59. dan dizzle dan says:

    good writer, but at times like these, a touch emo

  60. Jose says:

    Pay attention to MEE!!!!!

  61. rjb says:

    You had a good run but the schtick was getting tired. Good luck in your future endeavours.

  62. teenagewizard says:

    i seriously just don’t get “it” anymore… a good bye to the internet???? could you be any more self aware?

  63. teenagewizard says:

    also… you had someone write for you???????????????? GUPPIE ALERT.

  64. french guy says:

    bye bye bn (if you’re really gone this time…)

  65. Halfrican says:


  66. har har says:

    make way for THE FAT JEW!!!

  67. fighting women is easy and fun says:

    I thought the Myspace write up was awesome. that’s why i started reading this POS.

    Who wrote that shit – you woe yourselves a fan – fess up!

  68. ivan stang says:

    everything Revelation X said would come true actually came true…except maybe the whole rapture thing from July, 4th 1997…but whateva.

  69. Confused says:

    I thought Ty was the Blognigger. No?

  70. Ty says:

    NO. I am not the BN.

    I am not. I have never lived in NY.

  71. a4awesome says:

    I feel like I’ve been lied to. So who deserves the credit for making me laugh? And what do these twitter guys look like?

  72. Val says:


    Ben is hot. It’s those damn dimples when he smiles! Ty is also very good looking. So by default Bob must be too. Or BN could be the ugly odd one out… I’m still unsure. In my mind he’s still got a question mark for a face.

  73. stoops says:

    so…now what

  74. Danielle says:

    What a letdown. Or is this like the whole JANG committed suicide bit? More than BN not writing anymore, I think I’m disappointed that I now imagine him with a double chin and a gut.

  75. Hackneyed says:

    ty is a seafaring black male.

  76. anonymous1 says:

    i wanto know what happened in that jail story

  77. homeless. says:

    I hope this doesnt mean Ty is going to stop commenting here. i dig your stuff man.

  78. Ty says:

    Today’s been a very bad computer day with Twitter having AIDS and spreading it to everybody and my Macbook insisting I reformat the hard drive and back up from last Friday (before).

    And now PReck goes and hacks the Black Beatles site:

    I can’t even get on that anymore. Locked out (after).

    I mean, up is down and down and down is up and there are riots in the streets, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! Somebody do something to someone.

    Oh, and, seriously, I am not the Blognigger. So stop it. I’ve just been pilot fishing his ass. I’m from California. Los Angeles. I live in DC with Hussein Obama and John Allen Mohammad (well, another hour and a quarter for JAM).

    Not Benjamin either. Ty. Ty Hardaway.

  79. agent mule says:

    Both Blognigger and theBlackBeatles gone in one day? Am I to understand that dazzling brothers of color have been traded for one spiteful winky named Preck_ and a mystery writer to be named later? Well, I feel we’ve been bilked, Gavin. The asian slant was already covered out of all proportion by Taeil and Val, so fuck Preck_. But more importantly, where are we gonna find new black guys to keep us honest?

    Dagnabbit Ty, I hate to beg ya but you gotta put humpty-dumpty back together again. We white boys need you negro motherfuckers for cryin’ out loud. I’m sure we can get you at least Goad’s rate.

  80. Yeah says:

    Need more fo0l posts. He was the best out of all y’all

  81. willa says:


    The internet is truly in mourning today. GAY BUT TRUE!

  82. Ty says:

    Ha! FoOl was indeed the best of the group:

    Derrick is the minority hire; voice of black America like Skip Gates and Hussein Ombama (and John Allen Muhammad).

  83. Chachi and the MS-13s says:

    He’ll be back… but if he’s not then this is more shocking than Budd Dwyer.

  84. […] as I’m coming to grips with the revelation that my Raprican-American buddy, Blognigger was a ventriloquist dummy for a borscht beltin’ wisenheimer, I discover, horror of paranoid horrors, that Mike Ruppert […]

  85. asdgfjalgj says:

    Meh, i think its time to go anyways, the oldschool blognigger posts were much better. i loved the one about the art school chick giving a blowjob to the electric microphone cock.

    Too Long Says:
    Haha my old nemesis. I see you have finally thrown in the towel.

    It will be hard to find another opponent as worthy as you.

    ^ and this makes it all worthwhile

  86. asdgfjalgj says:

    PS. Blognigger, you really are a piece of shit you know that? when you do this you sound like such a whiny pussy. you are a fucking fantastic writer, all this modesty crap about being a software writer is really gay. fire whats his name and get your head back in the game.

  87. POOKLES says:

    I didn’t dig most of the BN stuff I was reading.

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