Posted by
Platform
• 05.14.10 09:00 am


Two things have happened in the world of crazy killers recently. Someone realised they were Charlie Manson’s kid and an art school guy murdered 30 people.

WORDS: ROBERT FOSTER

Two pretty exciting things have happened in the world of crazy killers “recently” (not that recently).

Firstly, in September some guy decided he was Charles Manson’s kid and is now on a mad cashing-in bender — even though all the other kids Manson sired knew about it ages ago and did the classy thing by moving in with their maternal grandparents and shutting the hell up about it.

Matthew Roberts is a 40-year-old LA strip club DJ with a gross Celtic tattoo, crucifix pendant, and loads of rings. He’s exactly the kind of guy who hopes he is Charles Manson’s kid: a fucking loser with a bad goth/industrial band. He’s since renamed his band New Son Rising (’cause he’s the new son and he’s rising, right?) and he’s on the media warpath.

Good for him though, he seems like a nice enough guy (sorry for calling you a fucking loser, bro!!!) and son-of-a-famous-guy goth-related bands are on my radar at the moment, ever since I got into Nick Cage’s kid Weston’s symphonic black metal band Eyes Of Noctum. Check out what a fucking babe Weston is too.

I snooped around on Facebook and even found his girlfriend’s Flickr. She’s a total hottie too. Watching them do it would be like watching two fallen angels embrace and create a whole new dark erotic energy and stuff! HAAAWWWTTT.

But I digress. What I was going to say was, wouldn’t you prefer Charles Manson’s kid to be something a bit more interesting? Wouldn’t it have been amazing if he was in local government or in charge of a children’s ward? Or an atomic scientist? Just something that would make him actually creepy, not Rob Zombie cuddly creepy? If he had to be a musician, he could have done something a little more intelligent than play dated goth rock. If I was him, I would have gone down the Death In June neo-folk route, acted all austere and severe, and dressed like a really smart Nazi. Imagine if these guys were related to Charles Manson:

That’d be way more respectable, no?

But whatever, the truth is always way lamer than the idea. Take for instance ol’ Charlie M. himself: He’s venerated by a certain type of guy the world over as this hyper-intelligent force of evil who lead a group of beautiful murderous flower children and had visionary ideas about pop culture and the way our entire culture was headed. The idea of him is fucking great, but the truth about Charlie is 1000 times less exciting, and five minutes on his Wikipedia page or YouTube will tell you that. He was a drifter, a snake oil salesman, and at one point a pretty decent musician:

Then he did a thing and then he went to jail. If that thing hadn’t involved anyone famous (even the bits about hanging out with the Dennis Wilson aren’t terribly impressive; I can’t imagine hanging around a drug-addled famous guy’s house was that hard in LA in 1968) then he would have sunk without a trace. Now he’s just a mad old guy in prison saying stupid things.

Here’s a tramp dancing for change in Sheffield:

Here’s Charles Manson dancing for TV cameras in prison:

The tramp is way better at dancing and doesn’t go on about himself the whole time. I bet there’s 50,000 guys like Manson kicking around — crazy acid casualties with a story to tell about the late ’60s, and I bet quite a few of them didn’t advocate race war and did more than just study a bit of Scientology in prison before they decided they had it all worked out.

Put simply, the idea of Charles Manson is a lot more exciting than the man himself. The more you find out about him, the more of a confused chancer with no really interesting ideas he turns out to be.

The second bit of crazy killer action that’s happened of late is that Rodney Alcala got sentenced to death in California. He’s not a great guy, the Internet will tell you that if you’re reading this in England, and the news will have told you that if you’re reading this in America. But Alcala’s doing a more successful job of being interesting to me than Charles Manson has done recently (despite some new choons coming out).

You see, aside from all the things wot he dun, he’s a hip guy. He’s got a fine art degree from UCLA, he studied film under fucking Roman Polanski (which I s’pose is also a Manson link) at NYU, and did graphic design for the LA Times. Look at the guy, he looks exactly like Gavin:

He’s grown his hair out since then, but he still looks like a sociology lecturer on his way to Brian Eno’s house for a dinner party.

He was also a keen amateur photographer and took these well composed, sensitively lit photographs of some of his victims before he tortured them, strangled them, and then revived them to continue torturing them.

Oh, and someone let him on a fucking game show, even though he’d already been convicted for kidnapping and raping an 8-year-old. Like John Goodman said: “8-year-olds, dude, 8-year-olds.”

This show’s a big deal in America right? I’m English so I don’t know. It’s cool that Steve Martin and Andy Kaufman were on it too.

-PLATFORM

Simultaneously posted on Platform


Comments
  1. Big H says:

    What’s your point?

  2. Miami says:

    I like that his wikipedia page is sure to mention that he was also convicted of “providing cannibis to a minor.” What a monster.

  3. C J says:

    Why does it seem brits are less cogent in their pop culture writing than north americans? Also, why do they read as if they’re trying to write like culturally eloquent north americans? Platform reads like the work of someone not creative enough for central, smart enough for oxbridge, fucked up enough for smack, or sharp enough for a decent conversation. Sadly, it is likely that at least one of the three former contributes in some way to the exercise, which in fairness, is a reasonable indication of the current state of british intellect, and culture.

    One positive: not as tedious as British Vice. Or the Sun.

  4. Glen Benton says:

    IDK, I just can’t feel that symphatetic for pedos. Unless he’s a pederastafarian.

  5. Swervon says:

    Party at Eno’s!

  6. Big H says:

    I mean I’m sure Robert Foster’s a nice guy and stuff, but Platform is woeful.

  7. Big H says:

    Are you deleting that comment cause I suggested that Gavin might be an egotist?

  8. Mark Methabane says:

    tee ell dee are

  9. no.thanks. says:

    its funny how SBTC readers are college aged to late 30’s while platform seems to only focus on kids.

    why did i bring that up? fuck, i stopped reading platform, I’m old as shit.
    This article was pretty good but it had no point.

  10. Dork says:

    Big H, don’t feel all alone in that “deleted comment” thing. They are deleting a bunch of comments now that “oooo look, we have this spiffy book out, and all sorts of people are interviewing us on teevee” supposedly more people are going to be coming to this site because of the extra publicity. Now all comments have to be witty and just so. Not that you will be able to read this comment after it has been deleted…

  11. Bill says:

    like you can’t say Niggers and Faggots and stuff anymore?

  12. Big H says:

    That’s so fucking lame.

    Arv, suck my dick.

    (i’m assuming Arv is in charge of deleting comments, he just gives me that vibe)

  13. lol@u says:

    I think comments just get randomly deleted – no rhyme or reason

  14. grimey says:

    it looks like ice t was fucking charles manson’s wife

  15. main street wanker says:

    if platform was shares i’d short them

  16. Your Mom says:

    Dear SBTVC,
    Why don’t you write a little note telling your readers what the fucking rhyme and reason is why you delete comments?

    Thank you,
    You bunch of sacks of shit,

    Your Mom

  17. Salad says:

    They deleted your comments becuase you’re black.

  18. Vane$$a says:

    I think Gavin wants people to post comments “with rigor” or something.

  19. Anonymous says:

    i love Your Mom. agree that the worst thing about the site is the comments being deleted.

  20. Your Dad says:

    Gavin, the wall told me to say hello and that he misses you dropping in on him unannounced. You’re a commie pinko and you need to grow the fuck up.

    Love,

    Your Dad

  21. ZOGISTAN says:

    Manson and his roaming clones aren’t that interesting, in themselves. They are a test for others: when small talk with a random stranger includes them telling about how so many classic rock hits were written about them, and they explain what the lyrics mean, it’s so weird, so the natural reflex is either to cling to reality more firmly, or join the family.

  22. Smelly says:

    That sucks that Nicholas Cage reproduced.

  23. Name says:

    Yeah re: comments. I don’t think they like my home ip address or whatever because Gavin/ Arv only let me comment from work. And none of my comments they allow are witty so that is weird.

  24. lair says:

    Degrading Manson is sorta like stabbing one of those clown punching bags because it keeps popping back up, it’s pointless because that’s what he was made to do. He’ll stop being crazy when you stop acting so goddamn sane, ya dig?
    The Dating-Game killer (media should have run with the name “bachelor number one” killer) makes me wish I’d been nicer to that shop teacher I had who wore the black nail polish.

  25. AMONATHOTH says:

    holy shit, that band, Eyes of Noctum is fucking terrible. And I know my black metal very well, and not just because its not Norweigan, I love USBM too, but THAT, is just atrocious and an insult to real BM.

  26. AMONATHOTH says:

    OH there was also a website where they had all the pictures Rodney Alcala took, does anybody have the link to it? it was like a reputable news website too.

  27. Dick says:

    The low quality of Alcana’s bitches/victims is surprising. Ted Bundy never dipped below a 7, and he was killing girls at random.

  28. Sergian says:

    Nice Death In June reference.

  29. Erik says:

    Listening to the Manson song while looking at Alcala’s photos was moving. Thanks for writing this.

  30. Vane$$a says:

    I think the most terrifying person in this whole thing was Alcala’s bachelorette.

  31. […] found that picture on a site called Street Boners and TV Carnage. No […]

  32. Mellow says:

    I think it sick that some1 could do that do innocent people. I should know b/c i was stabbed 9 times and im still going through alot… ):

  33. Stripper101 says:

    I agree with you Mellow its a crazy world out there and we have sick people in this world. I hope everything is going okay with you.


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