My boyfriend and I have been fucking for a while now. We tend to be pretty kinky in bed. But a week or two ago he asked me to pee while he’s eating me.
My boyfriend and I have been fucking for a while now. We tend to be pretty kinky in bed. But a week or two ago he asked me to pee while he’s eating me. He says he’d love it and I should just let go. But what if I pee a lot and it makes a mess? What if it makes him sick? What if it’s totally gross? Why does he want to swallow my piss?
Every time I ask my friends hypothetically if they would pee on someone they really like, their first question is “Where?” Because apparently everyone has thought about this issue at least once in their life, and the entire fucking universe has come to the conclusion that it’s no big deal to piss on someone’s head AS LONG AS you do it in the bathtub/shower. You know, so the pee doesn’t splash all over and ruin your precious post-college furniture, which let’s face it, is already covered in piss from all those times your friends passed out there and wet themselves. God forbid that ratty couch you found on Craigslist with the weird stains gets some pee on it!
That being said, I don’t condone pissing on someone on your couch, either. I mean, I guess if you’re going to do it, the bathroom is the best place to put your pee, since it’s supposed to go there anyway. What bothers me though is that so many of my friends have had long trains of thought about the best place to piss on someone they want to fuck, and they all end up at the same, logical conclusion. I have never thought about where I want to pee on someone, or what room in my Clue-like mystery house would best be suited for a golden shower.
Oh well, that’s not your question though, is it? Moving backwards on this: The reason he wants to swallow your pee is because that’s what he’s into, it’s a fetish, and he’s probably never done it before. Why has he never done it before? Because unless you’re a pro, peeing while being eaten out is about as easy as peeing with a hard-on. Tell him that. Tell him “Drew says when you can pee with a hard-on, in front of me while I watch, then we can talk.” And if he can pass the gauntlet, then reward him with a golden gift of your very own. If you can’t make #1 while his head is in your crotch (it’s hard to just “let go,” you know?) then maybe you can save up a squirt-bottle of pee and the next time he’s going downtown, just spray him with it. Just a light little mist.
Or try having him eat you out in the shower, because it’s easy to pee standing up in the shower. Oh, now I get it: d’uh, that’s the best place to pee on somebody because peeing in the shower is something everyone does. I’m glad I finally got to that conclusion by myself. Thanks!