Posted by
Drew Grant
• 10.22.09 09:00 am


My boyfriend and I have been fucking for a while now. We tend to be pretty kinky in bed. But a week or two ago he asked me to pee while he’s eating me.

My boyfriend and I have been fucking for a while now. We tend to be pretty kinky in bed. But a week or two ago he asked me to pee while he’s eating me. He says he’d love it and I should just let go. But what if I pee a lot and it makes a mess? What if it makes him sick? What if it’s totally gross? Why does he want to swallow my piss?

Every time I ask my friends hypothetically if they would pee on someone they really like, their first question is “Where?” Because apparently everyone has thought about this issue at least once in their life, and the entire fucking universe has come to the conclusion that it’s no big deal to piss on someone’s head AS LONG AS you do it in the bathtub/shower. You know, so the pee doesn’t splash all over and ruin your precious post-college furniture, which let’s face it, is already covered in piss from all those times your friends passed out there and wet themselves. God forbid that ratty couch you found on Craigslist with the weird stains gets some pee on it!

That being said, I don’t condone pissing on someone on your couch, either. I mean, I guess if you’re going to do it, the bathroom is the best place to put your pee, since it’s supposed to go there anyway. What bothers me though is that so many of my friends have had long trains of thought about the best place to piss on someone they want to fuck, and they all end up at the same, logical conclusion. I have never thought about where I want to pee on someone, or what room in my Clue-like mystery house would best be suited for a golden shower.

Oh well, that’s not your question though, is it? Moving backwards on this: The reason he wants to swallow your pee is because that’s what he’s into, it’s a fetish, and he’s probably never done it before. Why has he never done it before? Because unless you’re a pro, peeing while being eaten out is about as easy as peeing with a hard-on. Tell him that. Tell him “Drew says when you can pee with a hard-on, in front of me while I watch, then we can talk.” And if he can pass the gauntlet, then reward him with a golden gift of your very own. If you can’t make #1 while his head is in your crotch (it’s hard to just “let go,” you know?) then maybe you can save up a squirt-bottle of pee and the next time he’s going downtown, just spray him with it. Just a light little mist.

Or try having him eat you out in the shower, because it’s easy to pee standing up in the shower. Oh, now I get it: d’uh, that’s the best place to pee on somebody because peeing in the shower is something everyone does. I’m glad I finally got to that conclusion by myself. Thanks!

-DREW GRANT


Comments
  1. Gayboners says:

    Another really easy way to indulge his pee thing without having to do much is to hold his dick for him while he’s peeing. Like, stand behind and “take control”. Gay guys do it more than you’d think.

  2. ” Gay guys do it more than you’d think.”

    I would think they do it constantly

  3. streetbummers says:

    The best place to pee is on Drew’s computer.

  4. a4awesome says:

    Yeah I never thought of any other place but the shower/bath-tub. It would be too messy (and smelly-cause dried pee pee smells) anywhere else.

  5. UnCLEDADDY says:

    I can piss with a hard-on… If pointed down, it tends to pinch like a garden hose, thus slowing the flow. If not, it shoots up in the air… all over the nuns. Those nuns.

  6. Cunty Baws says:

    Peeing with a hard-on isn’t hard to do, it’s just uncomfortable and slightly painful, and the stream of piss is so thin that if you actually wanted to drain your bladder in this manner it would take an awfully long time.

  7. shadowy figure says:

    That’s funny. I thought Drew would be into piss. She should be.

  8. Not R. Kelly says:

    I think this has to do more with squirting than peeing per se. A lot of guys (myself included) are obsessed with girls squirting. It’s just so goddamn hot when Tiana Lynn does it, so why can’t you?

  9. Anonymous PIMP says:

    I’ve had to pee so many times with a hard-on, it’s not even funny. Like right before sex, right before penetration, probably like 6 or 7 times. Like right during sex, like almost the same number haha! I just tell whichever girl I’m really sorry and I won’t be cumming anytime soon unless I evacuate my bladder. So, depending on the girl, I leave the bedroom to either cheers or jeers, and begin my epic adventure. It’s different every time you see! If I’m actually cock-stiff, I have to lift the seat and everything and kneel down with my cock hovering just over the bowl, and basically try not to bend my dick so as to not “kink the hose.” I then pee for an extended period of time. If I’m not cock stiff, but rather, coke stiff, I can usually stand or somewhat squat over the bowl and angle my hips forward so as to minimize, but not completely bypass, the kinking stage. If I’m outside in a ditch, I just stand with my hands on my hips, staring into the horizon, with my kitchy shkindoban saluting all of humanity, spitting ferociously at mother nature.

  10. Cunty Baws says:

    Anonymous, that’s a strange problem you’ve got there. I think I can vouch for 99.9% of all dudes everywhere when I say that, even when you need a piss, you can put it on the back burner (so long as you’re not literally fucking bursting) in order to spurt your jizz.

  11. lol@u says:

    ha I say that to my girlfriend all the time just to fuck with her, but I’m joking. he probably is too.

  12. Dad says:

    Wait. You’re telling me people pee on each other as some sort of sexual fetish?

  13. no. thanks. says:

    could be a scat fetish…..could be worse….could be worse

  14. if that was real I’d marry that girl

  15. Vane$$a says:

    My old lady consistently requests golden showers…in the shower. I also have to say that I’d gladly make love to both the women in the pic simply because they took that pic. Love it. Did you guys see that racist porn they had on red tube like 3 weeks ago with the “squirter?” I swear she wasn’t doing anything but taking big ass pisses all over that guy.

  16. fighting women is easy and fun says:

    Seriously, you have not really pissed on someone if you’ve only pissed on them in the shower. That shit is so “safe generation” that it kills my boner dead. It’s like seeing …And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead switch to shitty $50 dollar pawn shop guitars before they smash shit. Disingenuous.

  17. Anonymous PIMP aka Deadbeatmanchief says:

    @Cunty Baws: I don’t consider it a serious problem or anything, it’s just an inconvenience. Although, I have also faked orgasms before as well, while wearing a condom, and maybe I just had to pee a little? I don’t know.
    Is it normal to fake orgasms for guys? Sometimes the condom just feels like it’s choking/suffocating my phallus, sometimes the rhythm is just off, and sometimes I’m just completely shitfaced. And yes, I have been called out on my faked orgasms at least three times that I can recall.

  18. Anonymous PIMP aka Deadbeatmanchief says:

    I probably should be directing my questions toward Drew. What do you think Drew?

  19. fighting women is easy and fun says:

    I have faked it bunches. Sucks. I usually act like I blew in my hand and go “clean up”… I don’t know if it’s abnormal, per se, but it is funny that you got caught.

  20. French Ass Raper says:

    What works really well in these situations is Saran Wrap. Just lay a few sheets out on the floor under you and your good to go. The best part is if you pick it up you can have all the pee scooped up in a little saran wrap pouch. Which you can then drink in front of him! That’s really hot for any guy.

    In the end if you post some videos of you having sex this community will help you in your endeavors to please your man.

    Do it for him.

    Cheers.

  21. Vane$$a says:

    @ fighting

    i never said the water was turned on…you dumb fucking asshole.

  22. Beef says:

    Just read Jim Norton’s book, Happy Endings: Tales Of A Meaty-Breasted Zilch and you’ll know more than enough about how to successfully poo poo or pee pee on someone.

  23. fighting women is easy and fun says:

    I bet you wear a helmet and water wings too.

  24. Anonymous says:

    peeing and shitting should take place in the backyard.

  25. uhh.. says:

    Trail of the Dead switch to cheap guitars when it’s time to get smashy? Gay!

  26. Clapback. says:

    I wasn’t under the impression that men had any sexual obligations outside of staying hard as long as fucking possible. Tell her you’re tired, pussies.

  27. Zippy says:

    This “garden hose peeing” picture isn’t as cool as the “guy that lays down in front of the Washington Monument” or the “girl that pretends she’s putting her mouth around a Civil War cannon”. Those are phallic classics.

  28. johnGEE says:

    u people know nothing about pee fetishes

  29. Soo' Chest says:

    the spray bottle idea is maybe the filthiest thing i’ve ever heard. it completely removes the sexiness of having something come out of your partner and you’re just drinking a bottle of piss, which is pretty fucking gross and kind of becomes sexy again.

  30. Steve Dave says:

    It’s a long walk from my basement bedroom to the bathroom upstairs so if I have to go in the middle of the night sometimes I’ll just piss in a glass. I did that the other night and it was exactly one pint of urine. Exactly.

  31. WetwithP says:

    Peeing on your partner is one of the sexiest, most intimate things you can do. I love doing this so much with my GF, having her pee while I go down or her or after she has wet herself. Doing it in bed is fun, it doesn’t make much mess really, and if you have a mattress protector it is no trouble at all, and a LOT of fun!


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