I’m 17 years old, living in Southern Ontario. My big life plan
is to graduate, escape my boring industrial town, and get out there to start livin’ my life in a big city like Toronto or Montreal.
(Random photo from Google)
I’m 17 years old, living in Southern Ontario. My big life plan is to graduate, escape my boring industrial town, and get out there to start livin’ my life in a big city like Toronto or Montreal. The problem is that I’m smaller than Beth Ditto, but definitely bigger than your average gal. I don’t think I have a weight problem to speak of, because I eat right and work out three times a week, but according to Hollywood standards I’m “plus-sized.”
This is going to sound weird, but being porky has never been a problem for me, because the town that I live in seems to have an abnormally high tolerance for fat girls. Imagine that! Guys who don’t care about size! Fat girls are just as popular and well-liked as skinny girls, we get invited to dances and asked out on dates just as much as skinny girls, and we never hear stuff like “Lose some weight, bitch!” or “What a lard ass!” You always hear on TV and stuff how disgusting fat chicks are, but I’ve dated lots of cute skinny boys and have never once heard the dreaded, “Baby, do you think you could lose a few pounds for me? It’s kinda gross.” (Although that could have something to do with the fact that if anyone said that to me, I’d kick their ass.) I don’t think it has anything to do with the rumor that fatties are better fucks than skinnies, I think people are just generally more accepting here. What the fuck is up with that?
Aside from a possible breast reduction, I have absolutely no desire to lose weight. Is this going to bite my in the ass when I move to an exciting big city? Is everybody going to hate me and think I’m disgusting? Do people really hate fat chicks as much as TV says they do? Should I stay in my chunk-lovin’ hometown?
Haven’t you ever heard the old adage, “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?” Jaaay kaaaay. Take it from someone who has been on both semi-extremes of the weight spectrum: Being skinnier won’t make you any happier. Bitchier, maybe. More likely to have one-night stands with guys who think you’re hot and then never talk to you again because you’re “that type of girl?” Definitely. But not happier.
Moving to a big town won’t decrease the number of guys who love your double-Ds (or whatever they are); if anything, there will be even more dudes lined up to worship your BBW ass. That’s not to say you’re going to have it easy, since it’s not the dudes in big cities that judge you on your looks (except for the Street Boners people, and honestly, have you seen what these guys look like?) — it’s the chicks. Bitches be hating, and when they aren’t busy wrapped up in their own eating problems, they make themselves feel better by giving you back-handed little “tips” like telling you about this great gym they’ve found or talking about how the cleanse worked wonders for a friend of theirs.
You sound pretty cool, and not all chicks are insecure back-stabbers, so (no homo) stay confident about your awesomeness and people will flock to you like a fat girl at a Sizzler buffet.
Send “Dear Drew” sexual queries to SBTVC@StreetCarnage.com
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