I study Mandarin in school and it’s the worst decision I made since I hugged the wrong daddy at Gymboree when I was five. They make you sing all the stupid words when you talk and draw pictures when you write. I mean, what the fuck.
I study Mandarin in school and it’s the worst decision I made since I hugged the wrong daddy at Gymboree when I was five. They make you sing all the stupid words when you talk and draw pictures when you write. I mean, what the fuck. Did you put tones on your ugly little qingchongxingzheng words just to make them extra confusing? Or do you just like sounding like you’re in some freaky atonal opera all the time? And the reason that every other language ever uses alphabets is because they make sense, you fucking morons. The same goes for cutlery vs. chopsticks.
Anyway, people keep asking me why I’m not studying abroad in China. I usually mumble something about fulfilling graduation requirements and change the subject quickly but it’s getting harder and harder for me not to be like “BECAUSE IT’S A STUPID CULTURE THAT’S WHY!” Seriously, they’ve got bad music, bad government, bad internet, bad jokes, ugly dudes, and low tolerance (cultural taboo-wise and booze-wise). The counterculture is even more embarrassing. The old stand by of “at least the chicks are hot” is total bullshit because, as an old Vice Don’t pointed out, they’re the corniest hot chicks in the world. So that leaves sheer population as only thing they’ve got going. Which really just means pollution so bad that it actually bothers me (people whine about the pollution in New York and LA but I’ve never been like “It’d be a really nice day out if I could breathe more easily”).
The point here is that I really appreciated your article about that dude who hates life teaching English in Korea. I did the same thing in China a few years ago and I would have clawed my eyes out if I hadn’t discovered a youth hostel as a resevoir of cool, weird Europeans down to get fucked up. Since then I’ve been really frustrated with people who don’t think it’s a dumb culture. They like dragons, for fuck’s sake! I can’t really get up on a soapbox about this on my white liberal campus, so this seems like the next best thing.
Here’s some proof:
First, group calisthenics in matching workout gear? And nobody runs away or sits down halfway through or even half asses it? Jesus. Second, this retarded, enthusiastic little nerd is considered funny? Pathetic. Look at all the comments, they love it.
There are endless examples of these corny, openly materialistic girls looking for husbands online. It’s not even considered weird. The best part here is that she specifies that she can’t be with anybody born in 1979 because she’s scared of them.
Remember when a bunch of 15 year old American girls beat up their friend and put it on youtube? Well, in the Chinese version, they rape her first. That’s what happens when your culture pussyfoots around sex and the people sticking it to eachother before marriage are the weirdos — you end up with a bunch of pervs.
Alright I’m spent. It’s 5 AM and I have a ton of Chinese homework due at noon. Fuck my life.
Keepin’ it xenophobic,
Ailin (it means Love Jungle)
Yeah but isn’t there a deal where there’s so few women there all the guys treat their dates like pieces of gold? That’s what David Choe told us and he’s there right now.