Posted by
Drew Grant
• 02.16.09 11:25 am

Why am I able to screw a lot better with small girls? Like, physically small not small-minded. Is it because there is less “cushion” surrounding their vaj,

Dear Drew,
Why am I able to screw a lot better with small girls? Like, physically small not small-minded. Is it because there is less “cushion” surrounding their vaj, making it easier for me to not pop out when doing different positions? Or is it because I am more attracted to that body-type?
If it is the latter case, please tell me how to drop the hint to my adorable current gee eff to consider losing about ten pounds. She is happy and healthy, so I do not know what grounds I have to bring this up to her without coming off like a giant asshole.

Dear Maurice,
You know, I think it has something to do with skinny girls have floppy vag lips. I dunno what it is, but they all seem to have hanging basculao like shower curtains. I’m not going off a 100% experience here, but one time I saw my little sister in the bath and she’s pretty skinny. Her shit looked like algae floating to the surface.

So maybe what you like is a) skinny girls (which is pretty normal for guys in American culture, damn the patriarchy, blah blahhh) and they turn you on more so the sex is better or b) something in the freaky succubus pussy lips of skinny girls is holding your cock like a clamp inside her love-cage.

Meanwhile, I didn’t even get that “meat curtains” reference until I was way, way old, because my nether regions look like someone took a Barbie doll and drew a line down the appropriate area. Seriously, perfect vagina, this one.

[Ed note: men can always get it up for petite girls because they seem docile and young and totally non-threatening. It’s a fun stage to go through if you’re a guy but you can’t marry one. You’d feel like a pervert when you were seen in public.]

  1. Hoolio says:

    thick girls are where its at

  2. Before you all freak out about the sister in the bath thing, remember this is a woman writing this; somehow that makes it not creepy. I was grossed out till I ‘membered. But WTF are “basculau?”

  3. a tiny fetus says:

    i thought i liked girls to be more or less the feminine version of my own proportions. recently, i had an ongoing thing with a girl who matched this desire, but, within the same timeframe, i slept w/ a girl who was much more petite in every way (for various reasons, it wasn’t cheating). that’s when i realized it’s just nicer to maneuver a woman who is smaller than you. i think the girl enjoys being maneuvered too. this is probably why most women prefer men who are taller than them.

    in short, women and men are different, and i think everyone likes those differences to be pronounced in the sack.

    oh by the way, i’m on the same page as stab master: what’s basculau? Also, the little sister in the bath thing is weird, girl or boy. like, is she a little baby sister? or an older sister? i’m also lost on “hth”.

    also, just a little constructive criticism . . . i’d like to see more credentials about why drew is cut out for sex writing. not that she has to be a sexologist or something. more like, in her own life and experience, is she omnisexual? how do we know that any time a guy writes to her with an issue like this, that she won’t be doing what most women do, i.e., somehow relating it to her own insecurities?

    last of all, fyi, body type does not dictate the prominence of vagina lips.

  4. a tiny fetus says:

    ps you didn’t answer his second question

  5. Gavin says:

    You’re fired.

  6. Videodrew says:

    @a tiny fetus Says: 1) don’t think it’s any weirder than accidentally seeing your baby brother’s dick while he’s taking a piss. Somehow being a chick makes it weirder though?

    2) Same as punta, but with the lips.

    3) “she won’t be doing what most women do…” speaks more to your own insecurities than mine. Also, I’m pretty sure the only credentials you need to write about sex is…no wait, there are no credentials.

    @gavin: no, u.

  7. Sambo says:

    You like small girls because you have a small penis.

  8. p g tips says:

    thats why black guys like big girls they have big dicks so no fall out

  9. SoulSonic Force says:

    Huh? This is backward reasoning. More juicy lips hold your small dick in. And “screw a lot better”?? I think the girl should be the judge of that, not you, Fabio.

  10. maurice del taco says:

    hey thanks for answering my question. but yeah, it looks like I could really use an answer on the secondary question. but I guess that would fall more under relationship advice and not so much sex advice.

  11. maurice del taco says:

    ^^ trust me, I could tell that I was hitting it better.

  12. Blech says:

    This shit sucks, cancel it already.

  13. person says:

    the vajs of small girls are tighter and smaller. it’s got nothing, nothing to do with being skinny or fat. some skinny girls have loose ones, some skinny girls have tight ones. If you are really invested in snug fits, go for asians or dwarves, don’t bother asking your gf to lose weight, won’t work.

  14. neezy says:



  15. This was retarded. I hope you didn’t put too much effort in.

    “something in the freaky succubus pussy lips of skinny girls is holding your cock like a clamp inside her love-cage.”

    This is why women should never be comedians. Who the fuck says “love-cage”?

  16. maurice del taco says:

    ^^ douche chills

  17. sarah smoke says:

    she shouldn’t have to bother telling him how to tell his gf to lose weight because IT’S FUCKING DUMB. i like drew.

  18. man says:

    if your girlfriend needing to lose weight is an issue, you have exactly two options:

    1. shut the fuck up and deal with it
    2. dump her and find someone skinnier

    seriously, that’s it.

  19. brasky says:

    I thought it was common knowledge that a small framed woman makes the man feel like his penis is very large. Inserting your penis into a chubby girl can make the man feel small as it can be like “feeding a tic tac to a whale”. Smaller girls are also usually the ones who let out that initial yelp when you first achieve penetration. And sorry to say ladies, at the end of the night that yelp is what the man ultimately wants to hear, after that you could call him the wrong name and it wouldn’t really matter.

  20. woman says:

    is height a factor in vagina tightness?

  21. Marie says:

    You should ask your girlfriend to lose weight so you can have better sex. Then, she can see that you are kind of gross and rude, and dump you.

  22. Vladimir Putin says:

    I much prefer corn fed Slavic bitches. They have thick ankles and robust shoulders, which make much better for threshing the rye harvest. Also, they do not die so fast during vinter.

  23. Vane$$a says:

    The only thing that made me check out this post was the picture on the home page. Hoping to get an enlarged version of that, I instead get that silly Olsen twink. Come on.

  24. Garbagetits says:

    I’ve banged lots of different women. Black girls have large labia. True. Asian girls have tight pussies. Jap. Chinese. Thai. Indian girls too. I don’t consider them asian because they don’t have slanty eyes, but most other people do. Some south american types have tight ones. It’s really a crapshoot with them. White girls are sort of in the middle.
    My question deals with Arabs. Where do they fall on the pussy spectrum? I have never touched an arabian girl’s pussy before. I asked NAte Silver to do a statistical analysis of this for me, but he’s never seen a vagina before and is afraid of them.
    Also, I once jerked off in the woods. Is that considered abnormal?

  25. SoulSonic Force says:

    Maurice, “hitting it better”? I realize it might make you feel like a porn star, but, baby boy, do you know how to make a girl cum? Hint: It ain’t by performing the Lotus Tiger Butterfly Position or whatever. And 10 pounds? That isnt going to make a diff. 100 pounds, maybe, because you cannot physically reach the good parts.

  26. ilovedrew says:

    I think she’s funny and sweet. Obvs, your weight has nothing to do with the lenghth of your labia. Race only has a little to do with it. And your labia would never hold in a penis, it’s just how tight the vagina is. The point is, that’s not the point. Drew’s got charm.

  27. fail says:

    less than 50 comments with a sex column = fail.

  28. Teddo Dancey says:

    Fuck, I’ve only experienced one of the perfect vaj’s Drew speaks of. I mean I’ve seen a couple in porn but I long for that kind of cunt again. So amazing. You know how girls fuck an uncircumcised guy and all of a sudden long for uncut dick and talk about it all the time and piss off all of us dudes who are circumcised? Well I’ve found myself talking about the perfect pussy a lot lately and this post just put me over the edge, it’s bothersome — girls will definitely hate me.

  29. pubert says:

    this girl sucks. “love cage”? is that really the best you can come up with?

  30. […] This question is from my sister, which she cleverly tried to disguise by using a fake Gmail account, but then put her fucking name in the signature. This is why I’m the smarter sibling. Hey sis, maybe your boyfriend wants you to talk about other guy’s dicks so much because it takes his mind off your scary flotsam-floating vagina. […]

  31. ZLUR says:

    I AM SO fucking tired of height being correllated with respective vaginal tightness. at 5’9″, i’m tight as a drum. Guess it’s just a nice surprise for people who assume i’m some kind of big Lucy Loosey.

    I mean seriously. Do all tall guys have big dicks? Fuck no.

  32. maurice del taco says:

    AAAH just saw Gavin’s note. Yes, I have seen this line of thought from you before, and you’re right. I have sensed that the smaller girl thing is not ideal in the long run. Sankyu

  33. […] post is by NATHANIEL R onAnd sorry to say ladies, at the end of the night that yelp is what the man ultimately wants to […]

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