Posted by
SBTVC
• 06.29.09 12:00 pm


This is a letter I just got from my mom. She’s not pleased. Dear Julian [Vegan Jules -Ed.], I hope that this message finds you in good spirits and in good health. Now that more than $50,000 since September has been spent in your pursuit of an Art degree

Editor’s Note: This letter was sent to us from Vegan Jules yesterday. The one about his allowance was sent weeks before.

This is a letter I just got from my mom. She’s not pleased.

Dear Julian,

I hope that this message finds you in good spirits and in good health. Now that more than $50,000 since September has been spent in your pursuit of an Art degree, what are your employment prospects? Please forgive me for asking but as an investor in your education, I need to know about the returns. There’s a credit crunch in the World at this time and I can no longer borrow money just for you to burn! I will start repaying my share of the Sallie Mae loan in December but that is about all that I can and am willing to do for you. I will not sell my houses for you and I am no longer willing to listen to any of your promises.

I don’t want to harp on the past. Let’s focus on the present! I left Vietnam more than 36 years ago and have not had to return. What are you going to do to find employment in Europe and stay there? With gas prices over 3 dollars and no money to maintain a car nor insurance, how will you move around in L.A? A potential landlord will also ask for rent and a security deposit and competition for wages will be stiff, with more than 10% unemployment, cheap immigrant labor and teen-agers out of school. If you ever had creativity and backbone, now is the time to show it.

As mentioned many times before, I don’t feel that I have the duty to support you at this advanced age. I have done more than enough without receiving much help from you. You never asked if I was tired, if work was hard for me, if there was anything you could do to make my life brighter and less worrisome. Aggression, spite and procrastination can only last that long. Hey, I may not have been lucky: my father and my husband have disappointed me. I was very surprised with my father’s crude manners when I started living with him at age 12. More than forty years later, the wound would open anew, almost every time I meet him and yesterday (Father’s Day) was no exception. However, I have found it more productive to channel my hatred into positive actions. Instead of clinging to him, like you do to me, I would try to find work so that I can build a protective shield around me. If I can pay for my own food and my own home, I need not live under violence, mental nor physical.

I have not asked much from you, except that you stand on your own two feet. In this era when each human being is being judged on his or her own merit, I don’t know of any worthy woman who is willing to cope with a man without direction, who is antagonistic, mouthy, violent and resentful. Although short term, anybody can put on a show, how do you disguise bad habits in day to day existence? At this point, your salvation will come from a woman other than me. I have brought you this far, you need to start the next episode of your life on your own.

If I were you, I will take any job just to stay away. There’s no shame in manual labor while your head sorts out what you need to do next. Pouring coffee is a better alternative to picking up the phone and beg from someone who doesn’t want to hear your excuses. America is changing and for the first time since I have lived here, it’s going my way. Obama is placing minorities in positions of authority, he is enacting one of the toughest tobacco law ever (not that I have ever smoked or drunk or taken opiates), he is working toward a mandatory health care system and is asking each American to be more thoughtful, less selfish and wasteful. The white man is going through one of the most trying times in recent history. After having dominated and exploited the majority of humanity, he is being stripped naked and his ugly greed, arrogance, self-righteousness and selfishness make the world recoil. It’s about time for you to show some grace and humility. You should be thankful for the Asian blood that is in you (it makes you a little more interesting). It will be foolish of you to mock the Phan family, especially when they have achieved some recognition from society and you have not (Dxxx was featured on 6/25/09 as the Commencement Speaker at Loomis Chaffee and Aimee received a commendation signed by Obama for her school performance). Following this message, I will e-mail you the text of Dxxx’s speech. It was apparently very well received by a crowd of over 1,000. Do you want to continue to be the ugly American? ignorant and coarse, sick but in denial, guilty but blaming his failings on everybody else?

Of course, as your Mother, I want you to be safe, healthy and happy. However, we need time away from each other. I no longer want to feel embarrassed when well-meaning people ask me what my son is up to. I want my son to have a backbone, to improve his character, to have the courage of working and suffering for what he believes in. I don’t want short-term solutions. I am frankly tired of starting multiple projects and getting no where with them and after so many skirmishes, I no longer want you in my home. I don’t want my walls destroyed (I will have my bedroom repainted this Thursday), I don’t want stuff to be thrown at me, I don’t want insincere apologies. I deserve better and I will not take your abuse any longer.

It took me a very long time to realize that if I wanted to have a better partner in life, I should start with myself. Otherwise, any relationship that I may stumble upon will be a temporary crutch. I wish you more luck than I have had. I wish that you will find a giving, generous woman who will nurse you back to health and to good habits. Since you are still young and hopefully good looking, you need to locate that woman pretty soon. She will help you stay in Europe, introduce you to her family, organize your finance, inspire you and instill in you that enthusiasm which will help you spring forward into a fullfilling career.

Remember, your Dad and I wanted to be in Europe. We couldn’t do it because times were different. European society is more stratified, people were less accepting, there were much fewer opportunities. However, since you do not have the Asian work ethich and you now are too cultured for the average American, why won’t you make your home over there?

If you need to, please e-mail Dxxx Phan xxxxxxxxxx@xxxxxxxinvestors.com to ask for help in finding a job. There’s simply is no other way. You have exhausted all my good will and there’s no further financial help that could ever come from me.

I am sure you will understand. Be brave!

-Mom

Dear Jules,
And here’s the worst part. You can’t draw!
Seriously though, 50k for this and this? Ouch.
Sincerely,
SBTVC


Comments
  1. Turd Town says:

    I didn’t read this yet, but I skipped to the bottom to say this… Kill yourself.

  2. John Doie says:

    Oopsies!

  3. Cap'n Glitterfuzz says:

    There’s no way any of this is real.

  4. Dork says:

    You look like Donnie Osmond. You need to wear purple socks and then you might write a hit pop song and be on the cover of Tiger Beat.

    Also, what Turd Town said.

  5. SHITCOCK says:

    Hahah your mom is as much of a self-absorbed asshole as you are.

    90% of her email to you about how she’s cutting you off is about her and how hard she’s had it. Hahaha it’s like reading the diary of a 13 year old girl. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THE PAIN I’VE HAD TO GO THROUGH!!!!

    Also she’s a racist. “The Asian work ethic.” Oh really? Asians have such a better work ethic than us white dudes? Then why did all the hard working Asians have to ditch their shithole countries and come over here. BOOYAH!

    People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully?

  6. wyatt says:

    nah. she’s right. you suck.

  7. bill says:

    Jules is SO hopefully good looking.

  8. bongmasterflex says:

    look at his web site, what a fucking loser. I seriously feel bad for his mom.

  9. idk says:

    i hate you more than I hate Myself.

  10. fart says:

    vegan jules is the reason jay mundy hates hipsters

  11. bongmasterflex says:

    I can seriously see him breaking his mom’s bedroom cause she refuses to sell her house and fiance his future , groundbreaking work on http://www.designmob.net/

    I want beat the shit out of him so bad!
    dude honestly I hope I will meet you one day! It will hurt.

  12. Anonymous says:

    i love vj. his mother is right about asians having a much stronger work ethic than the rest of the worlds’ inhabitants.

  13. LCC says:

    ” I don’t know of any worthy woman who is willing to cope with a man without direction, who is antagonistic, mouthy, violent and resentful.”

    Oh my god, Jules’s mom and I run in different circles.

  14. Turd Town says:

    Ok I read it. Your mom’s a dumb racist. And “too cultured for the average American?” Huh… I thought I was reading him as a whiny little pussy-faced asshole. Now I get it.

  15. marcy says:

    moms is pretty much on point, except for when she tells him to find a woman to love him and scrub him up and upgrade him. she’s just passing her headache off onto some other poor woman undeserving of such mental anguish…not cool. but, jules you need to step it up, man…the half-ass artwork is a reflection of your lazy ass take on life. and moms isn’t racist–she just knows what it’s like to be unwhite in a white man’s world. rather sucky

  16. Anonymous says:

    behind every fucked up man lies a mother who wanted desperately to fuck him forever, but had to settle for just fucking his mind on a permanent basis. mommies sticky glue themselves to their sons like permanent post-its.

  17. crampon says:

    is this real? or is this some dude’s fucking art project “let’s see if i can make people hate the shit out of a character i made up in some comment threads on a website”

  18. Vane$$a says:

    It’s been me, Vane$$a, the whole time. We’re the same shitty person, Vegan Jules and I.

  19. Anonymous says:

    your art is fucking terrible. is it an attempt to be “outsider”? is that why it sucks so hard and shows no commitment, consistency, taste or talent?

  20. mllemlle says:

    this character clearly exists to make me feel damn good about my situation. finally finishing my BSc at 24 after some rough times and getting help from my parents when summer work funds + part-time job + student loans just don’t stretch to cover expenses…it just seems so benign in comparison.

    i’m considering feeling even more awesome by starting a philanthropic foundation to aid Mr Jules’s current sustenance and insure his future legacy but this would first require hard proof of his existence.

  21. Drippy Dog Dix and Cum Bubbles or something says:

    I would give mixed-case typography a run for it’s money in some of your work. Or at least initial caps. That would be a good start.

  22. imyar says:

    “If you ever had creativity and backbone, now is the time to show it.”

    your mom is pretty bad ass. stop using her as a doormat!

  23. Willy Pete says:

    i find your mom more interesting than you.

  24. your new daddy says:

    VJ, you moms sounds like a hot piece of ass. like she’s all empowered and shit. I want to have sex with her mouth for a while.

  25. lb says:

    i wish we hadn’t grown up to be a generation of compulsive manipulators

  26. SHITCOCK says:

    @mary: “she just knows what it’s like to be unwhite in a white man’s world, sucky.”

    Oh shut the FUCK up you whiny twat. Yes the richest and most powerful people in the world are white men for the most part (there are quite a few exceptions to this, however.) But whining about the entire group of “white men” like we’re all ruling the world and we’re all total assholes just shows what a stupid, ignorant bigot you are.

    The reality is there’s plenty of lazy, shitty asians just like there’s lazy shitty white people. There’s also plenty of greedy, powerful and evil asians too. Along with every other race. The genocide in africa is “black on black crime”, Mao wasn’t white either, et cetera, et cetera.

  27. zuckerzilch says:

    nice molestache

  28. uhh... says:

    VJ…you need to grow up and get a job, and stop being such a little sack of shit…please..

  29. Number 1 Fan says:

    Yo, if you thought Vegan Jules’ art was bad you should check out his music here: http://www.myspace.com/thestrobelightslondon

    Enjoy!

  30. vj eats dick says:

    this guy cant be real, I’ve been thinking this for a while now but this confirms it. but why make the shitty website?? i can’t imagine any one being such a D bag

  31. I says:

    Holy shit, the music changes everything. Sounds like Bob Dylan on acid. Fresh.

  32. come mierda says:

    i like how everyone tore vj a new asshole basically, but he seems like those spoiled ass kids that lose their roots and culture once their parents migrate to america, sell out bitch. and ur art is fucking wack try to sell that shit in vietnam, oh u cant cause its not full of irony and hipsters who laugh with u about ur mom cause they are also lazy shits and trade ur shitty art work for PBR

    and shit cock is a dumbfuck, he’s one of those people whos all about america and says
    “if you dont like it then leave” he thinks people come to america(AKA leave their shit hole countries) cause it’s the best country in the world… with out thinking that someone came here by force, most people dont just go ” aw man i am bored today i am just gonna go to america and work really hard so all these dumbfucks cause be racist towards me and i have to live in an apt. with like 10 people i dont really know and send 75% of my check to buy my dying mothers medicines or have kids and raise them in “good” schools so they can grow up around other cultures and forget theirs and become fucking douchebags- hell yeah that sounds like alot of fun” , well over all -maybe his ancestors did think that thats why america is full idiots like him

  33. no. thanks. says:

    man, i love how easy it is to shit on art school students.
    i could get into how its not a place where kids go to fuck off and escape “real schools” or how a lot of graduates of art school are on a hustle or how (depending on your focus and mettle) there is actually a lot of money to be had in creative fields.

    Thing is, people like this sketched character are what you imagine an art student to be, the real ones are out with a stack of cards making the connections and business happen. You dont ever get to see the real ones because they are out on the grind making shit happen.

    Then again, I know this character and unfortunately a stereotype has a foot in reality. This is a character thats known in common circles as a fucker.
    I would also wager that a lot of the people behind SBTC are fuckers as well. Lets have some real ass shit written for once, this highschool drama about posters I dont know or care about is killing it. SBTC is eating its self for content and its crap content at that.
    This blog occupies a specific niche and its dissapointing to see it fail so badly when it can go beyond anything vice mag ever began to fuck with. Maybe it takes two to tango and what we are seeing is the result of one hand clapping, ie. Gavin needs to surround himself with other brilliant people.

  34. SHITCOCK says:

    @come mierda: ” with out thinking that someone came here by force”

    CUT TO VIETNAMESE AIRPORT:

    MR. PHAN: Sir I do not wish to go to America. It is full of hotdogs, watery beer and fat women. I like it here in Vietname.

    MR. NGUYEN: Too fuckin’ bad, get on that fuckin’ plane or I’m going to spoon your mother’s eyes out and feed them to your dog!

    MR. PHAN: Very well sir, but one day I will have a spoiled grandson who will act like a douche and then anonymous people on the internet will mock him mercilessly.

    MR. NGUYEN: Are you still here? GO!!

    MR. PHAN: God I hate white people.

    END SCENE

  35. SHITCOCK says:

    Whoops “Vietname”. Nice one.

  36. bongmasterflex says:

    @no. thanks. – are u mental? shut up no one cares about your opinionated ass, are u BA English graduate or something – you probably have a blog, am I right.

    fuck u!

  37. Jay Mundy says:

    Eat some steak and quit being a faggot.

  38. vegan jules says:

    @anonymous

    that’s funny that you should catch on to my Mom wanting to fuck me. I think she’s tried it several times.

    It’s in my screenplay:

    http://www.downwithitall.com/canibeelectricbyveganjules.htm

  39. no. thanks. says:

    Aw thanks bongmaster, I’m glad someone heard me!

    say baaaaaaaaaah.

    sheeps make that sound. sheeps are tasty with a bit of hummus, tahni on a lavash.

    i studied law.

  40. my mom says:

    @no thanks

    “Thing is, people like this sketched character are what you imagine an art student to be, the real ones are out with a stack of cards making the connections and business happen. You dont ever get to see the real ones because they are out on the grind making shit happen.:

    HAHAHAHAHA….art school street kids on the grind. what a joke. YO DOG, I GOT THE HOOK UP ON ACRYLIC. HOLLA BACK, YO! Keep on hustlin. Oh, and we get to see the real ones. Pretentious f*cks still on daddy’s dime. Always surviving(rent, car, whatever) but claiming they are poor. It doesnt take a genius to add things up.

    I hope Jules is real, all you mothers would kill to be in his position. I’d take 2gs from my mom to go live in england. why not? All the dumb rich north american kids that are living in europe yet have no legal(eu passport) validity to be there are doing the same thing. More power to them. I hope in my next life that I come back with stacked parents. That dude from the bronx tale said it best; THE WORKIN MAN IS A SUCKER!

    keep on rockin in the free world jules

  41. Screenplay says:

    Why is like every other asian dude named Julian.

  42. 2 cents says:

    V.J. is definitely hustling his shit right now. So props. The only problem is his site is terrible. What’s the use in hustling garbage?

  43. no. thanks. says:

    @my mom

    you just proved my point. the people you are talking about are the image but not the reality of art students. also……acrylic? really my ninja? you are talking about one discipline. you forget that art school includes architecture, fashion, sculpture, industrial design, transportation design, visual criticism, animation…….a whole lotta other shit other than painting you ignant ass nigga.

    but hey, im not talking about this guy in relation to those people, im just saying that people assume that art school is some straight bullshit when its not.

  44. my mom says:

    @ no thanks

    I’m not denying that they are people out there making money from their B.A. Or that people arent doing cool shit, regardless of whether or not they are making money. I’m not gonna include architecture/industrial design/animation in my argument. I went to a visual art school, and the same stereotypes that you’re trying to rally againt proved to be the majority. Rich white kids, on their parents dime, who’ve graduated and moved on to bigger cities to pursue their career still on their parents dime. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that, take advantage of whatever you can get and do what you like and what you want. My point was that there are a million jules vegas in the world and are taking the same handouts as him so why be mad at the guy(if he even exists)

    And this goes beyond art school to all fields of higher education. That shit costs money, yo. A lot of money. There are people all over the place that are still on their parents dime. Those are the people that label their profession as ‘students’ on dating sites and yet claim to be very independent. Student loans and all that jazz dont always cover all those expenses. So if your parents are offering, take it I say.

    There is some truth to stereotypes, that’s all I’m saying. Obviously, there are exceptions.

  45. my mom says:

    I want to stick it in your mom’s tight little asian butthole and cum inside it.

  46. no. thanks. says:

    how dare you come back with a valid argument!

    word. well, um, i guess i gotta give props to you for being logical about it. A+

  47. Banker says:

    I used to feel bad about “selling out” until I realized I was just “kicking ass” compared to all the “fucking losers” of my generation.

  48. Jules Vegas says:

    C R E A T I V I T Y

  49. SHITCOCK says:

    @my mom: “My point was that there are a million jules vegas in the world and are taking the same handouts as him so why be mad at the guy(if he even exists)”

    I’m mad at ALL OF THEM. OMG! Every day I’m all like GRR ROAR OMG I HATE THOSE PEOPELE!!!!!!!

  50. Jim Goad says:

    no. thanks. why don’t you capitalize your I-s?

    no. thanks. and my mom – I think you should add each other on facebook

  51. no. thanks. says:

    i never capitalize i’s because i think faster than i talk and i type faster than i think. that extra action kills it for me. or maybe its just a lack of ego (HAHAHAHAH yeah right).

    i have no idea why i do it.

  52. tommy gun says:

    @ Jim Goad – hahahahaha.

  53. marcy says:

    what really pisses me off is that someone is actually gonna give money to this shining piece of underachievement for his “art.” fuck…

  54. bj says:

    Wow. Your Mom is beautiful, and way more relevant and interesting, funny and appealing, etc etc than you are.

    All that stuff she said in there about hard work and making it on your own and growing a fucking spine is so right on.

    You should get that whole letter tattooed onto the inside of your eyelids.

  55. bj says:

    hey @ marcy, shining pieces of underachievement getting money for their ‘art’ is what its ALL ABOUT.
    dont be pissed off go back to the rule book of life and re-read chapters 14-23: ‘Why things never usually turn out very good for the majority of us and why the truely talented never seem to get their dues but sometimes some lucky underdogs make it through so you should celebrate that if and when it happens because the rest of life is just mortgages, bills and stress”

  56. marlboro reds says:

    hey jim, how come you used to have elvis hair, but now you have a head like a fucken melon?

  57. beej says:

    thats because he had a horrible car accident, brain surgery, tumour, operation, cut-your-skull-open-sew-it-back-together experience apparently.

    but anyway.

    i think this letter, coupled with the ‘literary death match’ speech from the other day, could comprise a new manifesto for our times / anyone that is looking for manifesto type things.

    or probably not or whatever

  58. Anonymous says:

    “that’s funny that you should catch on to my Mom wanting to fuck me. I think she’s tried it several times.”

    as sure as i live and breathe, i know that any man who has some artistic talent (a bit tortured at home, had to push himself into creative realm to exorcise emotional demons) and thinks they’re a bit better than every other guy, has a mom in their past who wanted badly to be make him into her little fuck hubby.

  59. xavier says:

    your mom sucks

  60. vegan jules says:

    ^^^doye. I like Shitcock better than I like my Mom, always has been that way.

  61. guy man bro says:

    you are an awful human being.

  62. kuntz says:

    VJ … S U I C I D E … it’s the only answer. (and that goes double to whoever made up this character if he isn’t a real douchebag and only an imaginary one) …

  63. kuntz says:

    oh yeah, and this is the guy who claimed to be pulled over for driving while not white? gimme a fuckin’ break. you’re the whitest chink in town. where’s fuckin’ too long when you need him?

  64. bog "dunky butt bitches" barker says:

    if you have not figured it out by now, vegan jules is gavin.

    i hated the 90s

  65. miss universe says:

    WHOA, touchy touchy. Like moths to the scent of fresh blood. This is obviously a little close to home for a lot of people! I just wonder why one would choose to broadcast such a private and painful humiliation.

    Vegan Jules, do you like to be tied and beat up a little bit in sex? Do you hate yourself and want everyone else to hate you too and also be as obsessed with your own self-hatred as you are? That is a lot of baggage to ask the anonymous cyber nerds of the WWW to carry. But–see how willing we are! Do we all see ourselves in you–? HEAVY, MAN.

    VERY avant garde, you should make some kind of post modern $krillz off this and shove them apples in your mom’s face. Even when she cut you off…there she is, paying your rent.

    What is the internet becoming? Information Superhighway or Clothes-Line for Dirty Psychological Drama…?
    Is this real? No–is THIS real? Where am I?
    Mission: accomplished.

  66. vegan jules says:

    I suppose it’s a bit of well hey, if I had this all in my own head completely, I’d go mad. I’m living a fucked up life, in a fucked up relationship, while trying to stay a bit of a normal person myself.

    I never wanted to be 27 and emailing my Mom for money. I’ve wanted away from her since I was 5 years old. But I was also lectured so much by my asian family how much they never had anything that I kinda said, alright, I’m never gonna do that to my kids, I’m not gonna blag on about that whole rags to riches drama so that we can be smug with our Goldman Sachs job(miserable).

    I’ve been her whipping boy the entire length of my expensive education, and bound to her for the price of it. Tied to a fucking cunt, you become a bit of well… a cunt. I’m looking for a raft off this island but it hasn’t worked out getting off to serve coffee or investment banking. It’s for a long time felt like music was the ticket, but hey I just gotta keep going, it takes a while. And that’s what I’m gonna do is keep going. Fuck all y’all, and thanks for reading my shit (literally.)

    I’ve done a lot of loser shit in the sagas above. But I’ll rise above it and become who I wanna be :)

  67. Mron says:

    B A N K E R is right.

  68. a lady says:

    sans the emoticon your as solid as the rest of us sir, thanks vj.

  69. a lady says:

    BANKER is not right. being a fucking clerk is not selling out it is settling for the most secure, common, shit you can get. On the other hand driving your mom into bankruptcy just so you can play “ARTIST” is just as bad.

  70. marlboro reds says:

    A little bit of coffee. A little bit of investment banking. Odd jobs here and there.

  71. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:

    how convenient these two articles come at exactly the same time

  72. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:

    also SHITCOCK is becoming my favourite commenter. you open miked yet?

  73. SHITCOCK says:

    Yes I did one open mic that was posted. I did another that I asked Gavin not to post because I didn’t think it was funny upon reflection (and he nicely did not post it, thus avoiding tarnishing my good name with bad comedy.)

    I also submitted one I liked about a week or so ago but I guess the SBTVC crew did not like it. It was my attempt to give Palin and her followers something to actually be offended by.

  74. skinny ass white guy says:

    Allow me to quote the late great Bill Hicks……KILL YOURSELF!!!!

    you CUNT

  75. Hot Birds says:

    miss universe,

    right on. Sometimes, on an internet binge, I doubt that even I exist, much less anything else.

    Still, I appreciate vj. There’s some quote about “some people are born simply to serve as a warning to others,” I think it’s extended Murphy’s Law or something, whatever, it applies.

  76. Janie says:

    Art project or no, I think its time you all grow the fuck up. Jules is a 27 year old baby with a boring existence and even less reason to live than the rest of us. Thats my positive message for the day.

  77. Alan Keyes says:

    y’all niggaz bein’ trolled

  78. Dear Julian says:

    I feel that somehow I have earned the right to give you a little advice. At the very worst, I don’t think I can be worse than a lot of the idiots who are writing comments here. It’s because I feel a certain kinship with the mix of brutal honesty and paralysing desperation that I felt when I first read both of these letters. Dude, your shit is Fucked Up. Like you don’t already know.

    I sat down yesterday and I read your screenplay. It’s all right. In fact, it’s pretty fucking good. It might even be genius, what do I know.

    The problem is that it’s not accessible, it doesn’t always make sense, and at times when I read it, it made me feel uncomfortable. Perhaps that’s your point. But remember, that’s my point too.

    Creativity is a gift, and it’s one that you’ve got. Unfortunately when it comes to talent, it’s a buyer’s market. A few dozen million of mothers and fathers living under the false illusion that college education was a free ticket to success have made for a generation that is quite simply too smart for its own good. Employers know this. And they probably see this in your face when you apply for a job. I bet you couldn’t fake it through a job interview five minutes without a smirk, and even if you could you couldn’t fake it through the work. That makes you a better person in the long run, but right now, as of this moment, you’re going to have to suck it up in one way or another.

    The funny thing about it is, I don’t think any of this surprises you. If I can jump to another unfounded assumption, I bet you’re not even really worried about it. This is more about showing off how painfully misunderstood you are, as if it were some kind of confirmation of the unjust burden society is forcing you to bear for your superiority.

    And you know what dude? I am fucking C-O-O-L with that. Once you find something and stick with it a couple of years, you’re going to be fine.

    But then, once you do all of that, you’re going to have to look back. And when you do, you might not like what you see. You’re going to experience something that was previously just a word, but is now a veritable, experienced emotion: regret.

    And as you get older, you’re going to look at the people around you differently. All the squares, the suits and ties, all of those petty, narrow-minded conformists; you’re going to realize that a lot of them aren’t perhaps as unlike you as you thought they were.

    Have you ever met a middle-aged person who seemed incredibly happy, only to get to know them and hear about the decade they lost to drink and depression, or how they lived for years in an abusive relationship? Then have you stopped to consider whether you would have bothered to get to know them if you had met them when they were like that?

    Life is hard, for everyone. I hope that you can use this experience to better understand the people around you, to develop a sense of compassion and understanding that will make you a better human being. And don’t take it too hard on yourself if you have to make a few adjustments along the way that before you might have called compromises, but are really just a way of finding your more mature self. Remember, sometimes selling out is growing up.

    Take care.

  79. Anonymous says:

    ^^^worst comment ever.

    pay it no heed, orange julius. if you sell out, you will become just like it (i.e. married with children and dreaming of a glamorous demise on a daily basis).

    never sell out.

  80. vegan jules says:

    Thanks “Dear Julian”

    You’re right. I can’t get through a job interview without smirking 5 times, or just laughing my fucking ass off.

    And double thanks to Anonymous.

    You’re right, never sell out. Grow up is just another word for compromise.

    Sell out=grow up=compromise=bendover.

    Naw man.

  81. beej says:

    i just think maybe you need to get laid

  82. dogn says:

    RE: Dear Julian’s comment: This is exactly the kind of patronizing, naive, middle-class, baby boomer shit that bred a whole generation of insecure, entitled, lacking any life skills losers like Vegan Jules. So thank you, you will go to heaven for this one, you are an amazing, compassionate person. Well done!

    RE: Vegan Jules: Just get a job and quit whining you fucking pussy.
    Selling out, what the fuck do you have to sell out, we saw your work and shit doesn’t get more mediocre than that. You are so stupid it is funny.

    Instead of worrying about realizing your wonderful potential, on your mom’s back, why don’t you grow up and realize that life is fucking hard, art is fucking hard and you gotta work hard in order to achieve something. It is hard is not always fun and there is no way around it – your mom’s allowance could only last that long.
    Fuck you!

  83. vegan jules says:

    @ beej aka Aviva Yael

    Unsurprisingly, there’s not much pussy in living like this.

  84. dogn says:

    @vegan jules
    there is absolutley no way that
    1. that is really your ‘art’
    2. you hate your mom so much, but youll leech off her money
    3. that you actually at the age of 27 get physically violent with her
    you’re going to be living with her by summers end…

  85. dogn says:

    i really really really hope someone emails all of this to your mom. she should fuck you up.


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