I hate hipsters. There’s no irony there, no self loathing, no misplaced rage towards youth or whatever bullshit fucking faggity half-assed window dressing anyone wants to cover it up with.
I hate hipsters. There’s no irony there, no self loathing, no misplaced rage towards youth or whatever bullshit fucking faggity half-assed window dressing anyone wants to cover it up with. I hate them. When I see multicolored Ray-Bans, I want to rip them off their heads and drive my fingers into their disgusting eye pits until I rip out the eyes and smear the gooey slop all over their graphic t-shirts. I want to choke them with their own little fucking sweat bands until they fucking shit their tiny undersized shorts and die.
I want to cut their fucking stupid pierced ears off and wear them as a necklace to display how many fucking dickless faggots that listen to Grizzly Bear will never be able to now that I fucking jammed a screwdriver into their ear drums and sawed off their useless ears.
I don’t give a fuck how they distinguish themselves between hipster, scene, whatever the fuck–I just don’t give a shit. I’m honed into those faggots, I can fucking smell it like a stink. “Oh, I’m not one of those hipsters. I just like a lot of indie bands.” Shut the fuck up, I’m going to fucking saw their stupid fucking heads off with my rambo knife while holding onto their retarded looking beards, those fucking Grizzly Adams faggots.
Not that it will be very hard, the weaklings lift nothing heavier than a fucking record all day. I can’t wait to burst into their roof parties and murder them all where they stand, all crookedly with weight distributed unevenly like they’ve got iPhones up their asses.
Then I’m going to take their girlfriends, those stupid, cow-eyed girlfriends who have never seen a real man and have only bitchnagged weaklings into becoming effete doormats. I’m going to rape them so hard, their fucking hippy dresses will be in tatters from the force of my finish. The floor is going to be littered with fucking cowboy boots and combat boots and those stupid fucking ballet flats from all the braindead hipster sluts I’m going to fuck up the ass, nose, ear, cunt, I just don’t give a fuck.
Gotta go. I’m making a skin tapestry of stupid tattoo sleeves from dead hipster faggots, and I’m going to dry it out in the sun while fucking the 19 year old “night life blogger” who had a tight cunt and ass. I keep her in my panel van. She wanted to hang out in the big city, but now she just cries for her mother. Her asshole is like a kangaroo’s pouch now. It’s where I keep my Bonnie Raitt cds.
Feel free to use that as an article. Have a nice day.
Sounds like someone’s girlfriend just left him for a skinny jeans wearing, PBR drinking, 20-something year old guy from Greenpoint. Get over it.
P.S. For someone who claims to despise hipsters and everything they stand for, you sure do know follow their trends pretty closely (Ray-Bans, Grizzly Bear, party blogging, etc.); self-loathing much?