Posted by
SBTVC
• 07.28.09 09:00 am


I hate hipsters. There’s no irony there, no self loathing, no misplaced rage towards youth or whatever bullshit fucking faggity half-assed window dressing anyone wants to cover it up with.

I hate hipsters. There’s no irony there, no self loathing, no misplaced rage towards youth or whatever bullshit fucking faggity half-assed window dressing anyone wants to cover it up with. I hate them. When I see multicolored Ray-Bans, I want to rip them off their heads and drive my fingers into their disgusting eye pits until I rip out the eyes and smear the gooey slop all over their graphic t-shirts. I want to choke them with their own little fucking sweat bands until they fucking shit their tiny undersized shorts and die.

I want to cut their fucking stupid pierced ears off and wear them as a necklace to display how many fucking dickless faggots that listen to Grizzly Bear will never be able to now that I fucking jammed a screwdriver into their ear drums and sawed off their useless ears.

I don’t give a fuck how they distinguish themselves between hipster, scene, whatever the fuck–I just don’t give a shit. I’m honed into those faggots, I can fucking smell it like a stink. “Oh, I’m not one of those hipsters. I just like a lot of indie bands.” Shut the fuck up, I’m going to fucking saw their stupid fucking heads off with my rambo knife while holding onto their retarded looking beards, those fucking Grizzly Adams faggots.

Not that it will be very hard, the weaklings lift nothing heavier than a fucking record all day. I can’t wait to burst into their roof parties and murder them all where they stand, all crookedly with weight distributed unevenly like they’ve got iPhones up their asses.

Then I’m going to take their girlfriends, those stupid, cow-eyed girlfriends who have never seen a real man and have only bitchnagged weaklings into becoming effete doormats. I’m going to rape them so hard, their fucking hippy dresses will be in tatters from the force of my finish. The floor is going to be littered with fucking cowboy boots and combat boots and those stupid fucking ballet flats from all the braindead hipster sluts I’m going to fuck up the ass, nose, ear, cunt, I just don’t give a fuck.

Gotta go. I’m making a skin tapestry of stupid tattoo sleeves from dead hipster faggots, and I’m going to dry it out in the sun while fucking the 19 year old “night life blogger” who had a tight cunt and ass. I keep her in my panel van. She wanted to hang out in the big city, but now she just cries for her mother. Her asshole is like a kangaroo’s pouch now. It’s where I keep my Bonnie Raitt cds.

Feel free to use that as an article. Have a nice day.

– Dirk

Dear Dirk,

Sounds like someone’s girlfriend just left him for a skinny jeans wearing, PBR drinking, 20-something year old guy from Greenpoint. Get over it.

Love,
SBTVC

P.S. For someone who claims to despise hipsters and everything they stand for, you sure do know follow their trends pretty closely (Ray-Bans, Grizzly Bear, party blogging, etc.); self-loathing much?


Comments
  1. X-ray says:

    All I’m reading is irony, self loathing, and misplaced rage towards his youth or whatever bullshit fucking faggity half-assed window dressing he wants to cover it up with.

  2. i predict that you will not do any of this, the only thing phonier than a skinny tight no fighting pussy covered with sailor tats is a faux psycho who only talks about homicide but never commits it. Come on pussy man, make ur face front page news. Doooooo it!

  3. Sergian says:

    Can’t get laid in the normal fashion.

  4. drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something says:

    This was written by a clever hipster.

  5. Henry Sugar says:

    something about emailing plans of mass murder rings entirely false.

    a handwritten note stuck in the front door with a bowie knife?
    now we’re talking

  6. skull front says:

    i read this on a easter card at the mall.

    http://www.cafepress.com/dronehome

  7. imyar says:

    did a little girl write this?

  8. Kim Mitchell says:

    you kids don’t know how to party

  9. babz says:

    i think i dated this guy. he eventually admitted he was just upset that they were prettier than he could ever hope to be. you’ve got to love yerself, guy. no matter how fat, short and ginger you may be.

  10. Spud Gun says:

    Usually, when I hate something, I don’t really want ot stick my cock in it.

  11. nobody says:

    Switch to decaf man…….choose your enemies wisely

  12. Zipperhead says:

    What group does Dirk belong to? Ricans? Sport people? Italians? I wanna hang Dirk, it’ll be rad when we get this neighborhood back to the way it was! Fuck yeah! A bunch of broke ass third-worlders who love Mobb Deep. Fuck yeah! Mobb Deep!

    PS: I’m gonna get my GED before you and all your kids. And my girlfriend is way twelver than yours. Eli Manning Jersey’s all the way. And guess who’s got a cellphone? Me, you poor piece of shit. Haha just kidding Dirkster. My ringtone is louder than your repressed homosexual rage and you have to listen to it all the way home! So glad I never left the neighborhood I grew up in an made anything of myself! Fuck yeah! Small minds are like the tight pussies of thinking! Mobb Deep!

  13. effete says:

    Nice try hipster faggot.

  14. depr$$a says:

    this guy wants hipster cock.

  15. Daddy Fat Sax says:

    Awkward white men with Asian girlfriends suck.

  16. Dirk Wins says:

    SBCTV Response sounds whiney.

    Dirk – 1, SBCTV – 0

  17. J BLACK says:

    this is so played

  18. pincer movement says:

    I hate hiptsters too. they are like hippies – all clicky and think they are soo cutting edge. just like any fad all I see is abunch of cult followers. Quit tryin’ to fit in uncoolies.

  19. Dirk Loses says:

    Dear Dirk, you had to post a new comment just to make yourself look good because nobody agrees with you.

    Dirk-0, SBTC-12

  20. Blogwigger says:

    Dirk?! Ummm…more like Jerk.

  21. homoprobic says:

    i liked it

  22. T.T. says:

    As pointless as it may be to go on anti-hipster rants, this site’s tendency to defend hipsters at all costs strikes me as far more pathetic.

    Especially when it comes to Gavin.

    He tries to maintain a facade of being “hardcore,” but I believe deep down he knows he got very, very lucky writing one-liners for a fashion/”youth culture” magazine that catered to what could fairly be called the “hipster demographic.”

    So unless he defends these poofy, effete, vapid children of privilege, he has to admit he was a sellout.

    Recently he wrote that everyone wants to live in New York and be a part of the edgy nightclub scene that eulogizes dead junkies instead of calling them the fuckups that they are. He needs to stop projecting his own values onto the rest of the world.

  23. Oh Kay says:

    Dirk? More like burke.

  24. Cap'n Glitterfuzz says:

    The panel van is the new Prius.

  25. Derek Whipple says:

    People still bitch about “hipsters”? Its 2009, in case this guy forgot.

  26. Yankee Doodle Dermody says:

    There is a toilet filled with shit to the right of this.

  27. MISTER FISTER says:

    This is why I don’t listen to Bonnie Raitt.

  28. Dork says:

    Oh, the irony…

  29. JuCIFER says:

    Uhh let me guess…. Polish dude from Greenpoint, too many roids, got shot down by some cool chick, now he’s on the rampage.

    I did like the use of “effete”… 15 points for that word.

  30. Ungawa! says:

    The Junior High level of most of these retorts is cringeworthy. Sure, rip a page out of the Hip-Hop Playa Hata book and accuse anyone who says they don’t like you of seething with jealousy because they actually want to be you.

    Because it can’t possibly be that some people actually find the group loosely termed as “hipsters” to be empty and weak and boring and whiny and, worst of all, entirely unoriginal. That’s simply not possible. As Mrs. Seinfeld said to Jerry, “How can anyone not like you?”

  31. Kennedy says:

    Gavin may have been lucky, but(and I can only speak for myself – not other SC readers) I no longer read Vice because Suroosh and Shane(?) are unfunny, pretentious, and whiny. This site is like Vice, but without all that “gay.”

  32. John Doie says:

    “I can’t wait to burst into their roof parties and murder them all where they stand, all crookedly with weight distributed unevenly like they’ve got iPhones up their asses.”

    RU KIDDING this is great! HAHAHAHAHA!!

  33. Bitch Made says:

    I don’t even know what a hipster is.

    People say that it’s a person who takes fashion way too seriously, believes they are an “artist” (especially if they have no talent whatsoever), are well educated (extra points for self-educated), and spend the majority of their time drinking at bars/taking drugs, paying way too much attention to music and acting sarcastically (using the term “irony” is a misnomer).

    Is this right, b/c then I don’t see the difference b/t these people and hippies (except tighter clothes of course)

    I am a dork

  34. dirk fan says:

    i like this guy.

  35. adolph hipster says:

    that ‘standing all crooked with their weight distributed unevenly’ line is brilliant…..

  36. nuh-uh no way says:

    I like sex.

  37. the thing is says:

    everyone hates hipsters. even hipsters.

  38. Chachi and the MS-13s says:

    I’ll bet he loves Vince Vaughn.

  39. Chachi and the MS-13s says:

    I hate fucking Puerto Ricans. One day I’ll go down to Los Seweres and read and birth control them all to death while I make them stop fucking littering everywhere. And! And I will point out to them how fucking greasy their women are. Also, Niggers, what’s with the always yelling? Is that some Invisible Man reaction shit? I’m not paying attention to you because you’re boring and poor not because you’re too quiet. Hassids? I would make them back home to jewland after I raped them of their cellphones, dandruff and Toyota Previas. Polish people will die out on their own because they’re retards. Grizzly Bear fuckin’ rules.

  40. Tino Martinez says:

    What about artsy niggers? They’re not even really black to me. Or that black.

  41. Simsun says:

    I hate poor people.

  42. Cheesebottoms says:

    Nice sockpuppets Dirk.

  43. I can smell your comment from twenty miles away old man. Get back to work on your book. Pronto

  44. Tennessee Williams says:

    Simsun = Huge Jew.

  45. Whatever happened to Korn? Fuck they were good.

  46. Michael says:

    This guy is so time-fucked. Everybody knows that the new shit is to actually become whatever it was you’ve been halfheartedly emulating for the past decade. Now that you’ve had time to get comfortable with your “ironic” mustache it’s time to step it up. Park the van next to where the high school girls’ volleyball team practices and offer the ladies some joyrides on on that push broom. Stop pretending. Start being.

  47. Robo says:

    Was this article emailed via timewarp? It’s 2009, Dirk, get with the program.

  48. Dick A. Darkangelo says:

    booooooooooooooooooooooring…who gives a fuck what you like or don’t like? “nehhhhh, i don’t like cheese and here’s why in incredibly florid, dull language: and then i fuckin’ hate it me go boom boom on its head.” get off the fucking rag, man. you ARE BORING. no one wants to hear your problems.

  49. Fishtown Boy says:

    Go get a dick up yer ass…fairy.

  50. Bernie Glowstar says:

    that’s some deep ass shit you be spittin yo.

  51. caldecott says:

    stop whining, he writes well.

  52. Supposedly Korn has a new album in the works. Cool.

  53. bj says:

    hipsters were the ones i thought that were so way ahead of you in terms of fashion and music that you dont really know what it is theyre listening to (or you wont untill 3 years from now) & that you have no idea wtf is going on with their fashion because you dont understand what theyre wearing (maybe in three years you will) you’ll never go to their parties or even know they exist, and if you DID go you’d have no idea wtf theyre listening to or what their jokes are about or anything etc etc

    hipsters are supposed to be on some next level scene shit thats 5-10 years in the future like some tron-warholian nightmare i wouldnt even begin to be able to comment on.

    i thought that was the deal. The people ‘Dirk’ is complaining about are just the WANNABE hipsters or something, or even just some kids following a trend, sooooo whats the big deal?

    Some kids dress in a way you dont like and listen to music you dont like? STOP THE PRESS!! or go and have a cry-wank or whatever.

    The ACTUAL ‘hipsters’ you think you’re talking about are on some invisible illuminati time-travelling reptillian fashion-overlord-V-robot-alien-terminator-benevolent-master-race-superior-being shit.

    You dont even know they exist.

    The guy that empties your trash cans and sleeps under a bridge is actually doing research for Christian Louboutins 2011 footwear range.

    Its like ‘They Live’ but with fashion cognoscenti instead of skelleton-alienoids

    The people you’re complaining about are just kids following a trend, which just makes you kind of a dick.

    (not like me)

  54. Dirkie Dirk says:

    fuck you darkangelo. FUCK u.

  55. Uland says:

    I wasn’t fully with Dirk until I read BJs’ comment.
    Dirk— We all hate them. Unless you’re one of them, or make money off of them, you hate them. Thing is, they feed off this kind of shit, and the only reason anyone would care as much as you do about them is cause you’ve got some lingering desire to be in with some kind of group and see hipsters as a shitty version of what ought to be good. There is nothing there. Hipsters aren’t “up” on anything, nor do they move any real culture in any way; they just parasitically attach themselves to that idea. It’s the same shit in slightly different clothes. They have no influence beyond the cash they spend.
    Just do what the rest of us do and ignore them.

  56. Kennedy says:

    Ronbenet Jamsey is the best name yet.

  57. Drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something says:

    Jeezus, What a romantic that bj is. Although, I am 99% sure my garbage men are not doing research for Christian Louboutins 2011 footwear line.

  58. Anonymous says:

    Dear Dirk,

    TL;DR

  59. louie st. louis says:

    Gavin’s a great writer, like Mark Twain. I want to defend Gavin and point out that he transcends this hipster nonsense. He should get a good site editor though; this is the second reader-submitted juvenile piece of trash I have had to comment on. All killer no filler please

  60. Peeny Paps says:

    my weiner hurts :(((((

  61. Drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something says:

    Ethnic slurs being used too liberally. Fix that shit.

  62. yikes says:

    rape threats, very nice.
    if this guy is so offended by fashion, imagine how he would react to something that matters.

  63. HARMO FUCKING MARMO says:

    “if this guy is so offended by fashion, imagine how he would react to something that matters.”

    Perfect.

  64. durp durp says:

    do you feel excluded, dirk? would you like to be invited to one of those parties and have everybody hug you and accept you as one of them? would you like it if those girls liked you more? maybe they would want to hold your hand as you wipe away your tears? well, it’s not gonna happen, pal. you’re a creep.

  65. Heath Ledger says:

    Man, beards sure are great.

  66. to gun says:

    he is totally gay, way to many asshole references.

  67. ZLUR says:

    Ahhh the hipster arguement! Still! More importantly who fucking cares?

    Dude lost his fuckin bird tho…defo!

  68. ZLUR says:

    Oh beards ARE great, i loves em, i’m wearing one right now.

  69. thickneck says:

    needs more hairspray

  70. Chinchillah says:

    More praise for the ‘they stand, all crookedly with weight distributed unevenly like they’ve got iPhones up their asses’ visual. Effing hilarious

  71. ThePopeisAlt says:

    Carles!!! one to many Huh???

  72. Ian says:

    you do know that just because you arent alternative doesn’t mean you have to be a backwards homophobic moron. you can still be a intelligent human being and not have good taste.. but if you want to have bad taste and be a raving idiot, well, no one can stop you.

  73. Theodore Wheeland says:

    I am large, I contain multitudes.

  74. Frank says:

    What a shitty blog. Do us all a favor and delete your site.

  75. Tffany says:

    Dear Street Carnage, you’re boring. Peace.

  76. neezy says:

    an hero. dooooo eeeet.

  77. zaxxon says:

    damn bro, this is CARNAGE

  78. weston james says:

    Dear Oxymoronica,
    I hope you get your ass beat by kryptonite weilding fixies. And I pray they feel bad afterwards and cry salty tears into your open wounds.

  79. Willy Pete says:

    what a dingleberry.

  80. sneeze says:

    this guy is a fucking idiot. It’s like reading a REALLY poorly written version of American Psycho except not in any way entertaining.

    This guy got cut off by one too many fixies in his dodge neon i think.

  81. lol says:

    both this guy’s letter and street carnage’s retort is straight up goofy shit. Kill yourselves and tweet it.

  82. neednotaaply says:

    Bonnie Raitt…lolz

  83. sugarmercy says:

    well, looks like i’m succumbing to your wish, leaving you a comment. but dude. you are fucking weird. kind of want to pet you like a forlorn cat and then put you back in your cage.

    p.s. but look at all these comments you’ve garnered! success? you must be so proud. cheers!

  84. P says:

    FUCK I THOUGHT I WAS READING A HIPSTER BLOG
    YOU MEAN ALL THE HOURS I INVESTED IN READING UR DUMB BLOG DIDN’T GIVE ME ANY HIP POINTS FUCK NO EVRBUDDYS GOING 2 LAUGH ME WHEN I GO BACK TO MY ZANY LIB ART SCHOOL CUZ THEY WLL HAVE BEEN READING THE REAL HIP BLOGS AND I WILL HAVE ONLY READ THIS DUMB SHIT FUCK

  85. A nonny mouse says:

    I bet this guy watches Entourage

  86. casual reader says:

    The extensive use of profanity (more than Lil Jon’s “Roll Call”, congrats new world record) shows huge amounts of immaturity and lack of content. Who allowed this post?

  87. Juzzy says:

    Sadist?

  88. tootsi says:

    kiss yr mother w/ that mouth? life is not over, eat a whooper (it will easy the pain of a broken heart)

  89. ThroughlyEntertained says:

    Hipsters aren’t “up” on anything, nor do they move any real culture in any way; they just parasitically attach themselves to that idea.

    well said.
    Keep up the good work, I enjoyed it.

  90. consuela says:

    The great part about going to hipster parties, is that half the guys are gay and the other half are actualy gays (like as in homosexuals), And all the girls are bangiñ. SO your gareeenteed to get laid!

  91. franky says:

    Man, have you guys heard the new Muse? Fuckin’ fantastic.

  92. uka says:

    Im so happy i’m from the UK…
    American hipsters are like mainstream faggots here.

  93. Have a heart send them a fart!

  94. tommy gun says:

    ahaaaa
    yo you need to stop saying cunt, that’s not cool, and everyone else- chill out. but uh,
    hahahaha

  95. Sandy says:

    Damn, and I thought I was harsh with my style criticisms. Made fuckin’ laugh though. How do you feel about “bros?”

    http://grimygoods.com/2009/08/03/15-reasons-youre-a-bro/

  96. HSCOTT says:

    Anti-hipsterism is in fact pro-mainstream. This guy is bitter we laughed at his Matchbox 20 CDs and didn’t want to go to Transformers 2 with him. It’s that same thing: Why do you guys have to be DIFFERENT? I feel threatened by it.

  97. […] check out this fucked up blog post basically bashing hipsters. The shit is harsh, but […]

  98. C-Dilla says:

    Hipsters, while obnoxious, serve as cannon-fodder for the capitalist machine. The best way to destroy them is to make money from their pitiful, empty lives. If you are under 30 today and are even slightly on top of your shit, you should be destroying the competition, because the competition today is a bunch of entitled, weak, disaffected and mincing little man-children. Go forth and conquer.

  99. omgkatiekatiekatie says:

    i am just confused by his hatred of ballet flats. i mean, ballet flats pretty much transcend any generation, scene or clique.

  100. randylahey says:

    if you know what streetcarnage.com is (and write them e-mails), you’re a hipster

  101. DdeBhall says:

    May be they are not getting any sex, so instead they screw their imagination?

  102. dood says:

    GEEZUS
    take a bath, read a book.
    Scream into a pillow
    its ok. we all know.

    P.S I think this guy likes hipsters

  103. Vingo Mingledunk says:

    T.T. knocked this out of the park. I like a lot of the stuff on Street Carnage, including the comments. And some of its way off. But T.T. got the nail on the head in this case. Respek.

  104. Stuart says:

    Definitely written by a hipster, too many clever references.

    Very funny though.

    ps. I like Grizzly Bear but I don’t have a mustache… I don’t know who I am anymore.

  105. Aditional Stuart says:

    ps. all the fucking hipster comments in reaction to Dirk’s rant are hilarious. Particularly the quasi-psychoanalyses serving a dual purpose an insult & a self administered ego massage; or using the word ‘transcend’ to describe ballet shoes.

  106. Sheep says:

    Hipsters, if you were stripped away from your American Apparel, your RayBans, your fixed gears, your MP3 mixing Dj’s etc etc etc…. what/who would you be?

    Please don’t have kids.

  107. mailman says:

    I kind of hate hipsters too, mainly for their snobbiness and pretentious attitudes, but I don’t think they deserved to be raped and murdered for their beliefs; as much as you disagree with them, don’t threaten to kill and assault people because of it. Fuck man, that’s straight Nazi/insane extremist talk. I mean, if I told someone I like to listen to Zeppelin, The Guess Who?, and the Beatles, and they told me I’m way too “mainstream”, and then rambled off a list of a bunch of indie bands I’ve never heard of that are “way better”, I’m not going to want to shoot them in the head or rape their girlfriend or anything. I’d just think they were being an asshole, and probably tell them such.
    There’s room for compromise dude; just because they like something doesn’t mean you should hate it. If somebody said their taste in music was better than mine, then I might at least agree to listen to some of their favorite tunes to see if I dug them. I don’t particularly care about dressing in the latest clothes, listening to the hippest music, or hopping from one thing to another; I like doing what interests me. If hipsters want to wear tight jeans, converse sneakers, smoke parliaments, and listen to the greatest, latest, coolest bands, they can go right ahead for all I care. If it makes you happy, whatever. Do what you love, man. Unless what you love is murder and rape; if had to be around a potential murderer/rapist or a hipster, I’d probably hang with the hipster. Besides man, most hipster chicks I ever meet are almost always hot. Pussy isn’t some band you’ve never heard of; it’s just… pussy;)

  108. […] part of a new trend focused on chasing wives rather than banging sluts. This might be because the “DIE HIPSTER SCUM” thing has been exposed as grumpy old people yelling at kids who aren’t listening. Is this the end […]

  109. Anonymous says:

    so cute! i love it. on the level of ‘no one cares marginal cuteness’, i rate you, a 9!

    5 years from now there will be a theme party about this and it will be fantastic.

  110. Average Joe says:

    Hilarious! I too hate hipsters, but probably not as much as that fellow. I’m just sick of all of you acting like you’re some poor downtrodden depressed kids, when in reality, you’re all upper middle class coddled children. I’m on the far left, and i hate it when hipsters act like they know what the average person goes through. I live in REAL life, no one pays my bills, no one replaces my car when it dies, no one gives me an allowance. The only thing my parents gave me was love, and I guess that may be better than the money your parents gave you, because you all act like you’re 5 minutes from hanging yourself in the garage while Adam’s song is played on loop.

    Good day!

  111. Average Joe says:

    Also, fuck American Apparel, they bust unions.

    I doubt the rant was written by a hipster, just because they know the shitty music and trends you enjoy could easily point to the fact that they know some hipsters or see far too many of you.

  112. Real Revolution says:

    Let’s just get something straight once and for all. The hatred towards hipsters is well placed and justified because the hipster culture is an amalgamation of counter cultures into one great big co-opted corporate counter culture.

    The problem is ego. If you want to be truly youthful, truly rebellious, truly innovative, and revolutionary – you would not care how you looked. You would not be neurotic about it and exclusive. The process of exclusion of your peers based on arbitrary narcissism and vanity is not rebellious. You would not care what you wore. You would NOT THINK ABOUT CLOTHING or ACCESSORIES or APPAREL at all besides the question “does it fit”? and “is it distracting from me making an impact with my words, with my philosophy, with my awareness, and my new wisdom or am I just born into a sell-out culture of mediocrity and OVER-FEMINIZATION?”

    Yes, you hipsters are a product of an over-feminized culture. Don’t buy into the propaganda. The extremes of masculinity and feminity are not what nature intended, and humans are a part of nature so the destruction of Over-feminization of culture (e.g. hipsterism) is inevitable to get back to equilibrium. And don’t worry, you hipsters are going to lose, big time.

    The backlash against you is nature calling. Nature is objective. It does not choose sides. It just makes equilibrium happen. It ebs and flows until it settles, stirs it up again, and repeats. Don’t think for one second that corporations don’t love your niche branding bullshit. It is so much easier to market to you.

    You know what really changes things? Not partying or culture. Culture does not matter. We’re just monkeys after all. We are actually monkeys. Our ancestors were apes and prior to that monkeys. Not the modern kind but a pre-historic (2 – 3 million years ago+ monkey). So all you’re bickering about culture is bullshit. We’re just monkeys sitting at computers typing. And yes, I am too. It’s not ironic like you flagrant idiots enjoy. It’s reality. You are a monkey as well. So if you know what’s good for you, wear some normal-fucking looking clothing – doesn’t have to be like everyone elses’ but it sure doesn’t have to be so bright and obnoxious that it makes you look like a clown.

    All that means is you are peacocking. Let’s evolve a little bit socially OK? We can still have fun, you fucking morons. You don’t have to be a fucking flagrant over-feminized-looking clown to have fun. Youth doesn’t have anything to do with useless shit. 250 years ago they wore all similar shit, but people still expressed themselves. Let’s be a little bit more intelligent about how we conduct ourselves. Not saying you have to be like everyone else, but hey, why don’t hipsters just rape everyone they see? They all seem to not rape people just like everyone else. Oh, I guess they are conformists now because they don’t rape people, huh?

    No, you are a bunch of fucking morons. Fucking progress. Youth are supposed to progress society in a POSITIVE manner. Rebelliousness and violence is good if it gets rid of tyranny or oppression of the mind or body, but you are just completely going in the opposite direction. You are the tyranny. Hipsterism is the tyranny. It is a complete and utter mind-fucking. You don’t question anything. Youth is about questioning authority, and you just lap that shit up and are concerned with bullshit that frankly is lame. I’m more hip than a hipster and I’m 25.

    I’m cooler than hipsters too. I have better fashion sense, but I don’t even think about the clothes I wear really. I get coupons in the mail for Express, BAM I’ll buy their shit if it looks good and is half the price of what it usually is. I know some fucking vietnamese kid probably made it for 2 cents an whore, but guess what? You’re parents are the offspring of the Western tyranny in the first place that set up those corporations that slave drive those children. No matter what “self-branded” bullshit you wear won’t take away from the fact that your genetic lineage is of imperialist mind-fucking scumbags.

    And guess what? I’m not of that line. haha fuckers. Yeah, no I’m not hypocrite. I’m not a Judaic-WASP Freemason Mafioso Venetian Old Money banker offspring like you are in your Manhattan NYC (Gentrified) Brooklyn Bed-Stuyvesant apt paid for by mommy and daddy. We know the deal. The smart people know the deal, and we’re sick of it. You will be the first to die when the revolution comes and it inevitably will. All hipsters will be the first ones to get executed. Like you hipsters are going to be brutally killed, haha.

    And they should because they are the apologist offspring for the imperialists of the world. Guess what all this pollution and shit is from? Your ancestry was the cause of it. Doesn’t matter how much you recycle or what you do. You and your parents and your family and ancestry back to Britain and the Dutch and Freemasons of Europe and the elite Jewish banking families of Europe and Venetian Bankers and aristocracies and noblemen of those states are you. You fucked the world. You caused its downfall. Now you need to be eliminated. Plain and Simple.

  113. Real Revolution says:

    REVISED, CORRECTED (For Spelling and Grammar), and Updated Edition of Previous Post

    Let’s just get something straight once and for all. The hatred towards hipsters is well placed and justified because the hipster culture is an amalgamation of counter cultures into one great big co-opted corporate counter culture.

    The problem is ego. If you want to be truly youthful, truly rebellious, truly innovative, and revolutionary – you would not care how you looked. You would not be neurotic about it and exclusive. The process of exclusion of your peers based on arbitrary narcissism and vanity is not rebellious. You would not care what you wore. You would NOT THINK ABOUT CLOTHING or ACCESSORIES or APPAREL at all besides the question “does it fit”? And “is it distracting from me making an impact with my words, with my philosophy, with my awareness, and my new wisdom or am I just born into a sell-out culture of mediocrity and OVER-FEMINIZATION?”

    Yes, you hipsters are a product of an over-feminized culture. Don’t buy into the propaganda. The extremes of masculinity and femininity are not what nature intended, and humans are a part of nature so the destruction of Over-feminization of culture (e.g. hipsterism) is inevitable to get back to equilibrium. And don’t worry, you hipsters are going to lose, big time.

    The backlash against you is nature calling. Nature is objective. It does not choose sides. It just makes equilibrium happen. It ebbs and flows until it settles, stirs it up again, and repeats. Don’t think for one second that corporations don’t love your niche branding bullshit. It is so much easier to market to you.

    You know what really changes things? Not partying or culture. Culture does not matter. We’re just monkeys after all. We are actually monkeys. Our ancestors were apes and prior to that, monkeys. Not the modern kind but a pre-historic one (2 – 3 million years ago+ monkey). So all your bickering about culture is bullshit. We’re just monkeys sitting at computers typing. And yes, I am too. It’s not ironic like you flagrant idiots enjoy. It’s reality. You are a monkey as well. So if you know what’s good for you, wear some normal-fucking-looking clothing – doesn’t have to be like everyone else’s but it sure doesn’t have to be so bright and obnoxious that it makes you look like a clown.

    All it means is you are pea-cocking. Let’s evolve a little bit socially OK? Attention whoredom is not progressive. It is regressive in a different way. We can still have fun, you fucking morons. You don’t have to be a fucking flagrant over-feminized-looking clown to have fun. Youth doesn’t have anything to do with useless shit. 250 years ago they wore all similar shit, but people still expressed themselves. Let’s be a little bit more intelligent about how we conduct ourselves. Not saying you have to be like everyone else, but hey, why don’t hipsters just rape everyone they see? That way they can be really “hip” because no one else just rapes for fun like hipsters would. But hipsters all seem to not rape people just like everyone else. Oh, I guess they are conformists now because they don’t rape people, huh?

    No, you are a bunch of fucking morons. Fucking, just progress. Youth movements are supposed to progress society in a POSITIVE manner. Rebelliousness and violence is good if it gets rid of tyranny or oppression of the mind or body (Civil Rights, Women’s suffrage, hip-hop/punk social commentary? remember these things? You stupid fucking douche bags), but you are just completely going in the opposite direction. You are the tyranny. Hipsterism is the tyranny. It is a complete and utter mind-fucking. You don’t question anything. Youth is about questioning authority, and you just lap that shit up and are concerned with bullshit that frankly is lame. I’m more hip than a hipster and I’m 25.

    I’m cooler than hipsters too. I have better fashion sense, but I don’t even think about the clothes I wear really. I get coupons in the mail for Express; BAM, I’ll buy their shit if it looks good and is half the price of what it usually is. I know some fucking Vietnamese kid probably made it for 2 cents an hour, but guess what? Your parents are the offspring of the Western tyranny in the first place that set up those corporations that slave drive those children. Your ancestors are the reason for American slavery. Your family and network ties control global trade and the rampant corruption and economic imperialism will be the downfall of humanity. No matter what “self-branded” bullshit you wear won’t take away from the fact that your genetic lineage is of imperialist mind-fucking scumbags.

    And guess what? I’m not of that line. Haha, yeah, that’s right fuckers. Yeah, no I’m not a hypocrite. My family came over here on boats in the early 20th century and lived in NYC in the Bronx in slums to work for your imperialistic ancestors who killed kids in iron-smelt factories. I’m not a Wall Street Judaic-WASP Freemason Mafioso Venetian Gordon Gekko Old Money banker offspring like you are in your Manhattan NYC (Gentrified) Brooklyn Bed-Stuyvesant apt paid for by mommy and daddy. We know the deal. The smart people know the deal, and we’re sick of it. You will be the first to die when the revolution comes and it inevitably will. All hipsters will be the first ones to get executed. You hipsters are going to be brutally killed, and I will laugh. I will laugh and cry with tears of joy when it happens, haha.

    And the hipsters should because they are the apologist offspring for the imperialists of the world. Guess what all this pollution and shit is from? Your ancestry was the cause of it. Doesn’t matter how much you recycle or what you do. You and your parents and your family and ancestry back to Britain and the Dutch and Freemasons of Europe and the elite Jewish banking families of Europe and Venetian Bankers and aristocracies and noblemen of those states are you. You fucked the world. You caused its downfall. Now you need to be eliminated. Plain and Simple.

    Oh, and for all you stupid hipsters that are like “Oh, well a lot of middle-class kids and minorities are hipsters too, so you are a hypocrite!!!…” Absolutely not – It doesn’t matter who follows. It only matter who is in control and who leads and where it started from and as I said it started from the kids of the top 1% of the population (whom owns 90 to 95% of the wealth in the ENTIRE WORLD – THANKS GLOBALIZATION! YAYYYY!!!!). The kids in New York City, London, and in the rich cities of Europe because (as we all know) the world now is the super-ultra-rich’s playground now that they stole every last drop of money anybody else actually had to work for unlike all the old money that these imperialists stole. Like how they killed all the Native “Americans” and stole their land. (Not that the Native peoples even had a concept of ownership by our standards, but they basically stole their livelihoods and eliminated an entire 2 continent’s worth of native societies) Yeah, mother fucker, we don’t forget this shit. You are gonna fucking pay. Just wait. It’s not a “white” thing. That is propaganda. We know who it really is. It is a class thing that stems from a Judaic-WASP Greco-Roman Venetian banker tradition. You laissez-faire aristocratic oligarchs need to be eliminated. You fucking mind-manipulators need to be killed in the most brutal of ways. Fuck all your hipster peace apologetic mind wasting propaganda. The only way you are gonna pay for what you did is either through jail time (which will never happen), you pay back the world for your ancestors’ imperial exploits (never gonna happen), or through your blood drenched clothes after you are decapitated with a guillotine.

  114. T.T.T. says:

    I’m with it … if you go to a bar and everybody inside the bar is mechanic that would be very weird no?
    everybody looks about the samee ecerybody is a fucking mechanic all … red looking mechanics

  115. Huh?! says:

    Ugh people are so hateful.

  116. John says:

    I couldnt agree more with this… Now I just want a tee shirt that has that on the front of it! FUCK HIPSTERS!

  117. yes says:

    TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!

  118. Anonymous says:

    lmao lamo

  119. Epic Win says:

    Dirk is my hero. Also, Real Revolution. Im not being “sarcastically cool” like the hipster fucks, I’m being dead ass serious. From what I remember, we had a name for the kids that shopped at Salvation Army and listened to bad music- POOR. **NEWSFLASH** There is probably a reason that no one has heard of these garage band pricks, its cause they blow. If they were any good, they would have been signed to major record label and I would have heard about them, along with the rest of America. Ooh! I’m going to puposely style my hair to make it look like I don’t care and I just rolled out of bed! I’m so innovative! No your not. Your a cunt. Your mad because your daddy didn’t hug you enough and your out to show him. The whole culture is ignorant. Grow up and get a job. Dick. Just like the emo kids, for trying to be “different,” damn you people all look alike…

  120. dirk kinda wins says:

    i agree, hipsters try to hard, but if dirk “doesnt gaf” why write so much?
    but in the end hipsters are fags, im not even homophobic, theyre just dirt. :]

  121. GildaMichelle says:

    This was FUCKING hilarious. Hahahahahahahahahaha I love you. I love you so much.
    The comments are funny too…
    A bunch of hipsters who probably Googled something along the lines of “Hipster”, and stumbled across this. Lolzlolzzz.

  122. Why? says:

    Lame.

  123. zach vogt says:

    The hipsters are dead.


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