Posted by
• 06.30.11 10:00 am

Nine miles outside the small town of Elberton, Georgia, stands an anomaly, a throwback to a time when men built structures not just to house themselves, but to leave a message behind for those to come.

Nine miles outside the small town of Elberton, Georgia, stands an anomaly, a
throwback to a time when men built structures not just to house themselves, but to leave a message behind for those to come. The whole thing reeks of primitive man and his persistent need to call to the heavens and scrawl his markings in stone — to make his presence known.

In June of 1979, a stranger made his way to the Elberton Granite and Finishing Company. Well dressed and articulate, calling himself R.C. Christian, he was permitted to meet with the then-president of the firm, Joe Fendley Sr. The rumors surrounding this meeting are numerous but the outcome is all that matters. This is when the Georgia Guidestones were commissioned.

The identity of who authorized the monument is, 30 odd years later, still a mystery. Some believe that the man calling himself R.C. Christian (possibly a pseudonym for Christian Rosenkreuz, the founder of Rosicrucianism) was but just a player in the whole drama, a representative of a group of concerned Americans who wanted nothing more than to see the survival of man after god or we ourselves tried to snuff out our existence.

Standing 16 feet in height and weighing some 240,000 pounds, the Guidestones are a blueprint of what to do to achieve a harmonious world in the aftermath of Armageddon. Because of this, many have found fault with their existence and have sought to deface and destroy this modern “American Stonehenge.”

The message, moving clockwise from due north, inscribed in English, Spanish, Swahili, Hindi, Hebrew, Arabic, Chinese and Russian, vaguely sounds like a totalitarian euphoria recalling Logan’s Run. The stones call for a cap on human population at 500 million, a world court to govern disputes, reproduction restrictions and an abhorrence for petty laws and useless officials. Some backwoods Christians view these wild turns of logic as a call for the dreaded New World Order and refer to them as the Ten Commandments of the Antichrist — but fail to see the socialist hippie undertones that are sprinkled throughout the stones message.

They call for a respect for truth and beauty and love, seeking harmony with the infinite, to be not a cancer on the earth and to leave room for nature — a point so important that it is inscribed twice. To me, this sounds no different than the doctrines of so many communes and homesteaders escaping the end of the ’60s by leaving the cities and reclaiming nature as a way of life.

In addition to the words of promise and hope etched into the face of the giant granite slabs, the stones are also a clock and are astronomically aligned in the fashion of ancient Mayan and Egyptian pyramids.

The four outer stones are situated to mark the perimeter of the 18.6-year lunar declination cycle, the center column has a hole through which the north star can be viewed regardless of time and a slot that is aligned with the sun’s solstices and equinoxes. Also, a 7/8” aperture in the capstone allows for a ray of sunlight to pass through each day at precisely twelve noon, which indicates the day of the year on the center stone.

I can’t imagine the stones lasting until we face extinction. Already they have been subject to an aborted toppling. How much longer until some group of angry villagers comes storming up the hill, brandishing torches and sledgehammers, led by the local minister whose eyes burn with vehemence?

I think a summer road trip is in order.


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  1. Dick Move says:

    I got lost driving out to them with a friend — we ended up in the Georgia backwoods following a biker gang on their Sunday ride and making jokes about them raping me and killing him. An hour later and still lost, we pass the gang pulled over on the side of the road. I end up turning around and asking them for directions and they too are on their way to the guidestones. My friend and I end up driving escorted by the bikers and walking around the ‘stones talking about the New World Order with them.

    TL;DR Don’t use Googlemaps to get there, you’ll end up with outlaw bikers.

  2. Splooge in my ass says:

    You ain’t got nuthin on Stonehenge, with your country that’s only about twelve years old or whatever. Our stones our actual magic and Dr Who is imprisoned beneath them, so there.

  3. josh froth says:

    I want to see more and more of these stone thingys. I want to see them everywhere. Who’s with me? Let’s start building. And the skies should be full of blimps.

  4. some guy on the internet says:

    needs more tits

  5. zuckerzeit says:


    you’re a shame to your country with your effectual jokes and all. who do you think you are, chris morris?

  6. barclay says:

    these rocks look very cool and the article is interesting but the implication that world government and population control is the natural enemy of contemporary christianity is a little confusing. world government (united nations, eu, nato, etc) is championed by the christian nations and christian politicians more than anyone else and almost all the main proponents of population control and eugenics were of protestant stock. Also according to cyberspace, it appears that Rosicrucianism is based off of Protestantism, which is, of course ,the religion of the “backwoods christians”.

    basically what i’m saying is: fuck these stones. you implying that they are the enemy of christianity makes it easy easier to assume they are the pal of the enlightened. and they are the exact opposite. they are calling for a stricter international government, which is what the vast majority of these christians have been trying to accomplish since jesus. anarchy 4 lyfe.

  7. A. Judy-Kate says:

    ^^^ not “for life”, eh?

    ur a child, not 2 b tkn srsly.

  8. ew says:

    i found a polaroid of an old man doing a goat in the middle of the sundial slot thing. no lie.

  9. kublakhan says:

    Yeah fuck all that message shit (it’s meaningless) , you just do bong hits and dig it.

    this country was dark magic long before the indians. quit being a druid dick.

  10. Pokey says:

    I live ten minutes from the guidestones. They’re lame

  11. littleTexas & the mute says:

    Residents near Stonehenge say they’re lame too.

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