Posted by
• 06.29.09 11:30 am

I get about $2,000 a month. It’s not easy, understand, my Mom (yep, same Mom) doesn’t give it to me all at once.

I get about $2,000 a month. It’s not easy, understand, my Mom (yep, same Mom) doesn’t give it to me all at once. She makes a deposit right when I’m about to starve/commit a crime/kill myself. She hates it, and I hate it. But hey, I’ve gotta get better at guitar.

I try to work as little as possible. I know work feels good and all, and women like the sexy Lesley Arfin want you to have a job, but I’ve dedicated myself to scales, rhythms, and reading music.

I just turned 27. I’ve had jobs in the past, but I’m really good at getting fired (mostly because of my former ten year insomnia, primary cause: excessive wanking).

I got into a top London art school so that I could be a graphic designer. I’m mostly doing it to live in London (best music city) and to buy more time to practice guitar.

Did you know I also spent 6 years in college? Four and a half years at NYU and a year and a half at Tulane.

When I was 10 we were poor and my house was robbed three times and my guitar and keyboard was stolen. My Mom collected the insurance money, and said I couldn’t get my instruments back. I spent the next twelve years of my youth, wasted in other pursuits be they college, investment banking, raves, or prep school friends.

I recently wrote a screenplay about it. And I went to a screenwriting conference last weekend, and Simon Beaufoy (screenwriter) said he’d give me seven pounds if I didn’t like Slumdog Millionaire. I got his agent’s name and her agency name. I still don’t think I’m going to see the movie.

Vegan Jules

  1. fart says:

    wow, you suck at living life

  2. Willy Pete says:

    insert any regular carnage commenters name there….

  3. 420 lost says:

    This site must be really popular.

  4. […] Note: This letter was sent to us from Vegan Jules yesterday. The one about his allowance was sent weeks […]

  5. jake says:

    If anybody else needs to contact Simon, google “Simon Beaufoy’s agent.”

  6. SHITCOCK says:

    Jules give it up, you’re not talented. Face reality, you have to get a shitty job like the rest of us plebes. The good news is, you only have to work 40-60 hours a week (depending on your job), figure 56 hours a week are spent sleeping that still leaves you 52-72 hours to fuck around during. So instead of spending 2/3rds of your time goofing off like you have been, you can instead spend only 1/3rd of it and you don’t have to be a boring sack of shit.

  7. Larry the Scary Rex says:

    that’s the speech crackheads get when mom changes the locks on the house.

    sounds like a dirty vegan is on his way to rock bottom. have fun and send postcards!

  8. Monty says:

    This would probably make me angry if it wasn’t so clearly designed to piss people off. You’re trying too hard, Jules.

  9. peepeehole says:

    Vegan Jules is a hoax.

  10. dickless tracy says:

    you fucking piece of shit

  11. yep says:

    Just your standard internet troll folks.

  12. Blah says:

    Eventually all enjoyable lifestyles come to an end… with less enjoyable consequences. If your lucky, your consequences involve a ‘real’ (see 40-60 hours above) job, maybe a wife an kids, and a house in the suburbs. If you really haven’t done anything difficult your whole life, your consequences may involve making me a sub or selling me a computer.

    I worked my ass of in college and law school. Partied for 12 years, now I work 60 hours a week–I’m at my desk until midnight, tonight. I make a ton of cash, but no time to spend it. The guy who made my sub at subway today probably has time to spend his money. Oh well.

  13. ew says:

    i can’t believe that you’re completely ok with letting your mom bust her ass for you and not giving anything back. if you’re real you’re an ass.

  14. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:

    im pretty glad im the one who is living in london at 22 with a degree a 20k job and probably making better music than this mook

  15. ^ congrats on being a responsible 22 year old. You can look forward to regretting it in 10 years.

  16. first esate loser says:

    no one is impressed by your shit. I’ve never worked ever and get the same in a week.

  17. glapi says:

    i hate you, if i catch you out on the street im going to smash your faggot face in with an empty ol e bottle. allowance bitch seriously leave new york and london or wherever you are and go back to your mom and suck her dick for the rest of the world

  18. vegan jules says:

    @ aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

    Post a link to your music then.

  19. Karl Marx says:

    In California a family of four people (FOUR FUCKING PEOPLE) has to be making less money than you to qualify for state medical insurance and food stamps. Do you know (or even care) how fucked up that is?

    These people are not beggars. These are working-class families who bust their asses to make your fast food, clean your apartment building and pick up the trash you throw on the sidewalk.

    I mean, fuck…seriously? This was hard to read.

    You are one massively ungrateful piece of shit. If there is a hell, you’re headed there fast.

  20. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:

    @ur doing it rong

    you are possibly the most retarded person on here. I have a stable job so I can work a 3 day week in a nice-ish apartment near camden and then do whatever the fuck i want. its not hard a life to set up if you’re not a perpetual fucking teenager like vj

    go back to 4chan or wherever it is you get stuff everyone else has seen on the net 3 months before you have.

  21. vegan jules says:

    @Karl Marx

    I don’t eat fast food. I’ve been to apply for welfare in California (last summer.) I’ve worked in restaurants and I’m always down with the Mexican staff. They’ve got their families and friends, they’ve got their neighborhood, they’ve got their culture, they’ve got Mexico. I don’t have a lot of that stuff.

    In fact, I’ve chilled with Mexican bands in Central California, and they’re my homies. I walk through the corn fields and it impresses them.

    Anyways, this article is about inequality and entitlement, and losing a real path by being caught up with dreams of money. It’s also about a few other things but hey. New York ain’t perfect.

  22. vegan jules says:

    And to be honest. With the case of your California family. I see nothing there but wasted potential.

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