Posted by
• 08.24.09 10:00 am

The New York Times casually ran an article last week titled “Mexico Legalizes Drug Possession.” This week they are going to run an article titled…

This could be you on your next vacation!

The New York Times casually ran an article last week titled “Mexico Legalizes Drug Possession.” This week they are going to run an article titled “Plane Tickets to Cancun Sold Out: Mexican Minister of Tourism ‘Too High’ to Comment.”

The drug cartels which rule that country haven’t completely legalized everything, but you are now allowed to have personal use amounts of most fun drugs. Here’s the run-down of how much everyone’s allowed to carry:

Marijuana (5 grams): This is the same amount that you can carry in Amsterdam, and apparently some new international standard size for a personal stash. The NYT describes this as enough to make “4 marijuana cigarettes.” The most interesting thing here is that they seem to be smoking pretty fat doobies over at the Times headquarters.

Cocaine (half a gram): This is enough to make a Colombian-grade cup of coffee that will get you through the morning. Maybe they’ll start selling these out of modified gumball machines so that diligent Mexican businesspeople can get through the rest of the day.

LSD (0.000015 grams): Ok, so LSD is powerful in low doses, but this is like an eighth of a tab. There are boosts at Jamba Juice that will make you trip harder than that.

Heroin (50 mg) and Meth (40 mg): Since the people that do these drugs tend to do them constantly, there is no size for a legal stash that would satisfy them. Seems like junkies and the law can never get along, even if they try.

The amounts for each individual drug are moderate or small, but since you can carry all of them at the same time, you could end up with a pretty hefty pharmacy in your pocket. Just be sure to do all of it before you cross the border again.


  1. Zippy says:

    That painting has everything. A pistol, a skull, liquor, cigarettes and a guy taking it up the ass from a helpless guardian angel that can’t dissuade him from shooting up.

    What a powerful statement! :)

  2. DamnDanMan says:

    i thought the same thing when they said 5 grams equals 4 joints. they be chiefing .

  3. louis says:

    ever junkie I know will now end their lives in some flea infested Mexican third rate drug dealers den. All me friends in this border town are junkies.

  4. homeless. says:

    there are nunchucks hanging on the doorknob.

  5. lionel hutts says:

    jesus is giving him his own arm. the martyr and sacrificial lamb he is.

  6. jar-moosh says:

    only losers get caught with drugs

  7. Dork says:

    Jesus is bogarting the dope. Now the dude is gonna have to go get more.

  8. Fuh Realz says:

    Why can’t you just post the link and hold on to any comments? Your ‘story’ contains absolutely no information.

  9. Jucifer says:

    When you do drugs, you’re not only hurting yourself, you also hurt Jesus.

  10. unclaimed smegma says:

    Jesus loves you. And your heroin. Please buy more heroin so Jesus doesn’t have to cop.

  11. sho nuff says:

    do junkies lift weights? look at those guns!! how can we be sure that’s not steroids?

  12. Daniimal says:

    For some reason i’m reminded of ghost dad

  13. Uncle Wah Wah says:

    That’s supposed to be Jesus????
    I thought it was Barry Gibb from the Bee Gees.

  14. thelibert1ne says:

    Every time I turn around, Jesus is whining about some thing or another. Here he’s acting like he’s not enjoying being turned on by Barry Gibb. He’s always like, “Don’t do that!” about shit. Dude needs to relax a little, enjoy some of the finery that comes with being The Son of God. Damn.

  15. streetbummers says:

    You forgot the part Mexico adopting “Drugs Are Cool” by NOFX as their new national anthem.

  16. thelibert1ne says:

    Actually, the guy shooting Jesus up looks kind of like the old dude from ‘N Sync.

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