Posted by
SBTVC
• 03.02.09 09:52 am


After 28 long days, my friend and I recently completely Sober February. The idea was born on a drunken night in January, and it was a pretty terrible one. We don’t have any AA friends, and straightedge assholes are fucking

After 28 long days, my friend and I recently completely Sober February. The idea was born on a drunken night in January, and it was a pretty terrible one. We don’t have any AA friends, and straightedge assholes are fucking assholes, so this was our first real experience with prolonged sobriety the bars of New York in some time. Here are our thoughts and findings, in no particular order.

1) Everyone hated Sober February. Like, REALLY hated it, and never failed to tell us as much. This includes our girlfriends, now-alienated friends, and pretty much everyone except our mothers (who just disliked it). Various people felt judged, guilty, or simply indignant that we would entertain such a stupid idea.

2) It wasn’t that hard, but it was still hard. Of course we have drinking problems like 90 percent of the country, but the difficult part wasn’t a monkey on your back. It really was just that everyone is drinking all the time in almost every social situation, and being there as a conspicuous “other” is pretty trying.

3) Booze is expensive, even if you are rich as hell. Booze also makes you fat, even if you are fit as Dan AND Dave put together.

4) The experience discredited a number of things that we previously would have blamed on drinking and drunkenness. The general aches and pains of your body is not your body screaming, mornings are just as bad without a hangover, and you still get in just as many arguments with your significant other.

5) Most bars are terrible places, filled with distractions and noise and are focused primarily around making conversation impossible. They do serve delicious food which is impossible to get anywhere else (though wings without beer are two tugs short of a good thing).

6) House parties aren’t usually much fun either, and there are (usually) no wings.

7) It turned us into total potheads. And don’t start with the “then it doesn’t count” puritanical shit. We just didn’t drink. That is all that was promised.

8) It destroys your tolerance – one shot and two beers will change your life afterwards. Nearly twelve hours later and I am still pretty drunk.

Final conclusions: We don’t advocate anyone else giving it a try, but next year we will probably do it again.

Love and kisses,
Greg And Dan


Comments
  1. france. yes. says:

    Did you write this while you were drunk? Grammar is for assholes anyway.

  2. John Graine says:

    apparently you abstained from interesting writing as well.

  3. Kennedy says:

    Alcohol is a gateway drug. Vote Prohibition.

  4. The Boss says:

    Blah blah the writing blah blah

    Seriously, all this bitching about the quality of the writing… it is a fucking blog on the internet.

  5. allsidoissmokeweed says:

    I’m actually doing the same thing for a few weeks and I smoke like an eighth a day.

  6. Too Long says:

    Boring.

  7. zeb says:

    Number 2 is important. i don’t drink because I lack self-awareness and I’m a pussy who can’t drink things that don’t taste like diet coke or grape juice. But constantly having to tell people that you don’t drink just makes you feel like a jackass. And it makes people think that you feel like you’re better than them. fuck

  8. SHITCOCK says:

    JUST FEBRUARY WITHOUT DRINKNIG? WTF? I GO WHOLE YEARS WITHOUT DRINKING SOMETIMES. WHO CARES? IF THE LACK OF ALCHOHOL CHANGES YOUR LIFE EXPERIENCE THAT MUCH YOU ARE PROBABLY AN INTOLERABLE DOUCHE WHEN YOU ARE SOBER.

  9. “Hi, I’m a hot girl wow I somehow think you’re cute and funny let’s go out on a date I don’t drink”

    ^worst thing evar^

  10. Vane$$a says:

    When I quit smoking cigs I went on a 2 year booze and weed bender to cope with the withdrawal. Realizing that I had become a balls to the wall alky as a result of kicking tobacco, I finally decided to quit drinking at the start of February 2009 and enrolled in AA. I’m currently doing quite well without alcohol, but of course I’ve substituted my booze fiending with yet another addiction; unprotected anal sex in cheap motel rooms with my fellow AA members. Addiction is a vicious cycle.

    Okay okay I’m outta here I just couldn’t help myself cuz this one struck so close to home.

  11. anti-lamez says:

    You sound like a douche….you certainly type like one.

    LOOK AT ME, I’M SHOUTING!!!!!

  12. anti-lamez says:

    that was to shitcock, btw.

  13. SHITCOCK says:

    I TYPE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE MY WORDS ARE BETTER THAN YOURS AND THEY DESERVE TO BE MORE VISIBLE. IF YOU WORDS WEREN’T SUCH GAY FAGS THEY’D BE IN CAPS TOO.

  14. SHITCOCK says:

    THAT WAS TO THE STUPID AIDS-INFESTED QUEERBAG WHO IS CONSTANTLY PICKING JEW-PUBES OUT OF HIS TEETH, BTW.

  15. Barnard Animals says:

    @ Shitcock.

    Do you suck your mom’s dick with that mouth? Keep your mouth shut and it will be filled with less penis, OK?

  16. SHITCOCK says:

    0 / 10. A FAILURE ON EVERY LEVEL.

  17. motherfuck'n yeaah says:

    I’ve given up cumming for lent. It hasn’t even been a week yet and it’s already the most difficult thing I have ever done. I’m pretty sure if I make it all the way until Easter, angels will descend from heaven to salute me.

  18. vacuum mouth says:

    i did this too, but really i was just broke. the upside is the tolerance thing, i didn’t have to spend much money to get shitfaced which was awesome. then again i live in hartford so i never had to spend much money to get faded.

  19. anonymous alcoholic says:

    @ vane$$a: you don’t “enroll” in aa and if you went somewhere that said it was aa and made you sign something or whatever your ass is getting duped (apparently into bareback anal hardy har har). anyway aa doesn’t keep track of anyone in any way. show up if you want, leave, come back, drink, so what, whatever, keep comin back. next time you have a thought to speak on something you know nothing about do what you do best and swallow it.

  20. Vane$$a says:

    “enroll” is just a fucking word, you stain. what if I had said that I “started attending aa meetings?” Except for the completely anal (psychologically)/literal dickweeds, there’s no fucking difference. “enroll” can be a situational, non-static term. in this case, it simply means calling the aa hotline and subsequently getting contacted by a sponsor who might give you a ride to a meeting or something. jesus. non-morons know what I’m trying to say. now shut it.

  21. anonymous alcoholic says:

    @ vane$$a: just wanted to make sure anyone (morons or otherwise) who might be thinking about aa didn’t get the wrong idea. i admit though i could’ve been nicer about it. consider this me making amends. this post struck close to home for me too. glad you’re getting help.

  22. Vane$$a says:

    likewise.

  23. drekula says:

    Is that Louis Theroux and Karl Pilkington in the picture?

  24. Michael says:

    “1) Everyone hated Sober February. Like, REALLY hated it, and never failed to tell us as much. This includes our girlfriends, now-alienated friends, and pretty much everyone except our mothers (who just disliked it). Various people felt judged, guilty, or simply indignant that we would entertain such a stupid idea.”

    I never understood this. Why do some people (very many, actually) seem so discomforted by the presence of someone that isn’t drinking? Unless that person is being a self-righteous prick and making incessant pronouncements of their perceived moral superiority, then their abstinence shouldn’t be an issue.

  25. drippy dog dix and cum bubbles or something says:

    ^It’s fascinating when people display their insecurities so overtly. This behavior typically ceases once you’ve watched someone you love habitually flirt with death, or die. Check out the dude at the party who is giving them really sincere props, and give him a hug (he probably needs it).

    If you’re sixteen though, don’t sweat it. That being-sober guy is a fag, and you’d better browbeat him into getting hammered. Otherwise, you’re blowin’ it.

  26. idk says:

    this is a good idea: it puts yr drinking in check. ok my drinking made me feel better and talk to boys but it never once bought me a drink

  27. […] My inspiration for this was here. […]


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