Posted by
Street Carnage
• 03.31.16 04:50 pm

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As a legal immigrant in the USA, I’ve come to realize that absolutely nothing pisses local liberals off more than a “minority member” who dares to behave differently than how they dictate, regardless if black, hispanic, same-sex-loving, green card-holding or document-lacking.

Based on my experience, and the ones that many legal immigrants bring up during our shady underground sit-downs, the following list should ring true.

To a certain extent I understand why liberals don’t acknowledge our existence: we prove them wrong. Turns out you can be here legally. It’s neither easy nor impossible. But since we don’t need to rely on “activists” for our common well being, it turns us into unreliable political pawns. This can backfire, though. Due to the fact that “Uncomfortables” can’t make a good use of us, most if not all of the issues we have to deal with go unnoticed and silenced out of the Media in favor of more agenda-friendly ones. So lefties push us off stage by pointing to our reputed “Legal Privilege”: the stereotype that implies that we are here legally simply because we can afford it, but…

  1. NOT ALL OF US ARE WELL OFF

Commie-knowledge dictates that if you’re here legally you must be investing a fortune, be trust-funded or be a Fullbright-recipient. Of course these guys exist. Just like the illegals who rape and kill. Simply put, they’re our own elites. But if you want to run a bagel store on 125th street to service Music School undergrads and dope dealers alike, a visa is needed. I understand their accents and manners suggest otherwise but cab drivers didn’t get here overnight, just to be put behind the steering wheel before going through immigration first. Italian-educated nurses from Albania need chip-integrated visas on their passports before they can move here to wreck the marriages of US doctors. Aspiring designers of Russian stock have to fill their fair amount of paperwork before starting to work here as part-time caterers. Long story short, we managed to get our visas issued regardless of our respective wealth, experience and education. So…

  1. ILLEGALS PISS US OFF

Why shouldn’t they? We worked hard to keep our status afloat. Some get close to losing it due to financial issues, bureaucratic incompetence and sketchy laws that change in a short notice. No matter how our plans turn out to be, once your iris is scanned and your papers are filed, you know that you’re now on the List.

We don’t mind immigration laws as much as we mind bureaucracy.

By the time an immigration handler has fully checked the punctuation in our applications a whole Papal procession has strolled across the border just to be welcomed by a local College delegation singing hymns.

At least illegals’ issues are taken seriously. Which is odd, since such issues involved breaking the law. We didn’t. Clumsy HR people mess up our papers and we get rounded up and sent back to level 1 to start from scratch. Or, when immigration clerks let us know that the company we’re sponsored by doesn’t meet the required standards it did until last Tuesday. The visa renewal deadline approaches and we know that it’s too late to look for a different path. Back to level 1.

Okay look, those kids who were brought here illegally could use a law or two and we are sure illegal adults hate it when they get deported, even if that’s part of the game they chose to play. But after you’ve played by the rules…no. After you’ve worshiped the rules and you get sent home because the rules were bent, you just want to bang your head on the wall until cracks appear and corpses come out. Therefore…

  1. WE’RE COOL WITH WALLS

Let’s face it, honest professional athletes shouldn’t fear tougher laws strictly aimed to get rid of the juiced-up ones. They should welcome them. If we’ve come here, it’s because something went wrong back home, not just money and family-wise, mostly politics and society-wise. We moved out because of all things. We didn’t feel that our elected officials gave two dimes about our safety and overall long-term stability. Therefore, we do respect a nation that would do something (allegedly) controversial to preserve the well being of its citizens. Even if that includes locking up borders.

At least be kind enough not to lump us all together, that’s the leftists’ job, and toughen up laws who hurt us legals while leaving the cheating nomads completely untouched.

So be sure to build those goddamn walls with electrified barbwire so that absolutely nobody jumps over for good. Ever.

  1. WE APPRECIATE COMPLIMENTS & GOODHEARTED PRIDE

We believe in meritocracy and getting what we worked for. Most of us have worked our spines off in order to master your language and sound like you guys do, so whenever locals are positively surprised and give us kudos for our language proficiency we don’t sue them, we thank them. Promptly. We’re not “triggered” by good-hearted and sincere compliments. This being said, even the most motivated of us still needs some enthusiasm-boost to keep them going forward. Unfortunately Americans telling us something down the line of “Good thinking moving here pal, it’s a helluva place!” are a rare find.

Point is: a little pride won’t kill you, for crying out loud.

  1. WE DON’T APPRECIATE EXOTICISM

Things can suck out there, don’t they know? That’s the reason why many come here. I’ve seen Americans sweating as they were desperately trying to find something nice to say about the homeland of the Somali couple living next door just to look inclusive and open-minded. Too bad they made asses of themselves. To the point that one of the Somalis had to say: “No, look, it really sucks over there.” This is partially good though. It shoves the stereotype of the racist American down the drain. This doesn’t contradict the previous point. Over-romanticism of our homelands is not a compliment. It shows they have no idea what they’re talking about. Their never-ceasing “Why did you move here? I read that it’s so neat where you come from!” is mind-cringing.

Besides, most of the time the places we hail from really are as screwed up as those they call “bigots” paint them out to be. And if it was as nice as my next door hack day-dreamed it was, we’d have stayed home. Unlike some Americans, we are not fond of self-flagellation.

  1. WE’RE NOT PC

Ask Brazilians what they think of us Argentines. Ask Germans what they think of the Swiss. Even here, we’re wary of each other. Most racial tension in America occurs between, and within, minorities. Yup, we did notice. It’s the same as overseas. In Milan, Maghrebi immigrants repulse Central Americans so much that they don’t mind starting street riots to express such feeling. In London, Romanians don’t even let their kids play in the close proximity to the Gambian ones. It’s so blatantly out in the open and yet no one dares to address it. It blows our minds to see how some people rank the “open-mindness” of a specific area solely based on the amount of immigrants living there. As if we aren’t capable of heinous acts. Apparently, they believe “Diversity” is another word for “Pet Zoo”, which describes a fenced area were innocuous, cute and inferior animals live for the past-time pleasure of the ruling human class.

On the up side, we are temporarily excused if we don’t “get” your silly PC policies right away. We quickly gather that, apparently, you can say whatever you want about blacks as long as you blame whites.

Talking about black-people-of-african-american-color: we really don’t care about them. We quietly don’t. We just stay the living hell away from the sovereign mini-states your Government put them in charge of. Save for Albanians and Asians. The Albos are the only wiggers who can call each other “niggers” around blacks while in black areas without getting jumped. Indians, embodying pure ground-level capitalism, just don’t give a damn as long as their black costumers pay cash while Koreans and the Chinese don’t worry because blacks are terrible shooters.

  1. WE DON’T MIND ASSIMILATION

Starting in early Spring all the way till late Fall no district, suburb, or city from the Atlantic Seaboard to the San Fernando Valley is safe from Guido street parades. They are the living proof that assimilation doesn’t equal cultural annihilation. You can be both, or even multiple, while still being American. Truth being told, America sucks it all in and turns it into something new, perhaps a little weird sometimes, but unique nonetheless. Nothing screams “USA” louder than English-speaking, Italian-lastnamed Americans carrying a tall, Holy structure on their shoulders just to make it bounce on the notes of century-old wop songs as well as “Eye of The Tiger”.

For this very reason wannabe Guevaras either come out clean saying that they believe Hispanics are too dumb to overcome the language barrier as all other groups successfully did or they admit that they purposely want el pueblo to self-insulate from American society so that they’ll always need “activists” to rely on as middlemen.

Assimilation equals self-dependency.

  1. WE CAN BE ASSHOLES

Of course “legal immigrants” are not a single, indivisible entity. Implying that would be a profoundly, multiculturally racist thing to say. We’ve got our different viewpoints as well as our own rotten apples. And by that we don’t just mean the mobbed up, dope-dealing and clock-bomb-building types.

We mean those with no higher education, whose income skyrocketed after less than 5 years on US soil and still loath America in ways that would make a whole African-American Studies department cheer. People discriminated in their native lands for being inbred yokels enjoy profiling and accusing non-urban Americans of being inbred yokels. University-bound researchers turn middle class the moment their visas are issued and yet they carry on with the same decadent Marxist attitude they had when they were working dawn till dusk for mere college credits in a rundown biology lab in the old country. A barber I know in Manhattan decided to go rogue in order to avoid paying taxes and turned his trade into a private, cash-only one. He may fear deportation, but in the meantime he nests around 4Ks per week. And of course he blames D.C. for forcing him to go illegal so that he could earn decently.

  1. WE DESPISE ANTI-AMERICANISM

This should be a no-brainer. If you hate a specific locale don’t move there. Period. You’ve got alternatives. Yes you do. Barcelona is full of Mexicans, Ecuadorians abound in Genoa, Brazilians gang up in Geneva, Moroccans are second to no one at enjoying Dutch welfare and Pakistanis happily beat their wives silly throughout Northeastern Italy. So give these areas a thought, would you?

Sure, some might have over-hyped America and they are soon to be disappointed but they’re gullible to begin with.

Whenever a millionaire social commentator tears down the American Dream, implying that those who fall for it are a bunch of morons, he insults us all. How would Bill Maher feel knowing that his comments don’t really matter to the Middle Americans he’s obsessed getting attention from but end up bothering an Egyptian family in LA dreaming to make it here? Many of us wonder why liberals support immigration towards a nation they say is so terrible to live in.

We’re wary of those who encourage us to move into a rough neighborhood. Slumlords do that.

  1. WE SEE THROUGH THE LEFT’S PROPAGANDA

We’ve dealt with their colleagues in our respective countries.

Leftists overwhelmingly support mass immigration but oppose policies that raise the rate of exploitation, which Marx tells us is the motive of capitalist demand for labor power. The commies in my area say they love immigrants, but they hate property developers and yuppies, so homes don’t get built, businesses flock away, taxes go up and the city’s too expensive for legal working-to-middle-class immigrants while the illegals ably sneak though the cracks to collect the crumbs.

High unemployment, low supply and unfiltered mass immigration: sounds like a peaceful recipe, doesn’t it?

-ROBERTO SCHRÁM


Comments
  1. Transracially bi-sex Dilma Rouseff da Lula says:

    @ 4:50pm
    “Ask Brazilians what they think of us Argentines.”
    ____________________________________________________________________________
    “Argentines are just Italians who speak Spanish and act like French royals”.

  2. not_bedtime_yet says:

    ^^^ To their credit, I’d feel pretty “royal” too if I were sorrounded by a continent of favela baboons and latin injuns.
    Cool article by the way.
    Love the somali compliment part. I witnessed something similar myself: a bosnian refugee in upstate ny being told by local college brats how the balkans were “full of character”!
    Guest posters like this one and carl really power SC up a notch.

  3. Casual Observer says:

    Holy Chiquita Banana!!!
    Lula-10 inch-Queen of the curious turistas, you nailed it. The Peron fetish somehow ties into it all.

  4. Ground Control To My Big Dong says:

    Casual, did you say 10 inch!!!
    One of my dreams is to go to Rio for Carnival and meet my he-she Latin lover.
    Roberto, keep em coming I think you are a keeper — mucho gusto.

  5. John Doe says:

    Unfortunately Roberto, despite your excellent insights, it’s more than legal vs illegal. All cultures are not equally absorbed. The ones that assimilated most easily into America’s founding Anglo-Saxon Protestant English culture, with its Enlightenment ideals, were the English and their racial stock colonialists. After that came the northern Europeans. Next were our southern Mediterranean European brothers with some of their fatalistic Catholic authoritarian baggage.
    The further away we’ve gotten from culture’s like ours, the more tribal this country has become. In large part that is deliberately designed by Marxist elites who want to undermine an individualistic Republic with needy dependant minded groups who can be socialized into a collective mindset.
    If we allowed very small numbers of very highly talented people from very alien cultures we could assimilate eventually their children.
    Since 1965 our immigration policy has had nothing to do with American self interest. It’s all about cheap labor, unregistered democrat party voters, Catholic Church coffers, “Reconquista” LaRaza, economic refugees, so-called political refugees, the World’s entitlement, but nothing to do with America’s best interests. Now it’s racism and bigotry and cultural imperialism and privilege to speak of the “Melting Pot.”
    The hyphenated dual citizen non English speaking American with no fucking gratitude.
    Ironic that I fought in our military to defend other countries borders and then told I’m a neo-Nazi xenophobic racist for expecting our borders and citizenship to mean something?
    The next time I fight, it won’t be for this “country.” My country betrayed me.

  6. Casual Observer says:

    I like how people were shocked and disappointed that some young, Somalian refugees wanted to go back to Africa or join ISIS instead of becoming good Americans in Minnesota. How did that not work out? Why would those people reject their new life of snow-mobiling, ice fishing and watching Twins baseball to go back to their old culture in the semi-desert or along the ocean? HAHAHA

  7. Tacobelle Johnson says:

    Albanians are an entertaining bunch.
    They’re the perfect examples of the severe damage caused by the socialist regimes + islamic invasions combo. Perhaps they get along with blacks thanks to their mongrel half-caucasian, half turkish dna. Muslim slavers (both pre and post-Ottoman empire) enslaved the living shit out of black african savages so let’s call it unconscious weariness.
    Up here in toronto they’re not that different than what you described.
    Do yours also pretend to be italians? Ours do it a lot. Can’t blame them really.

  8. John Doe says:

    Most respectfully.
    This is one of the best articles I’ve read on this blog.
    BUT — you knew this was coming. Constructive criticism: From my observation of commenter feed back — too long.
    ADD is a plague. Each one of your sub-headings are free standing articles in themselves which could be serialized with “next time….”
    I like the way you think and express yourself and will look for you on the net if you don’t show up here again.

  9. frank says:

    Somalian and Ethiopian girls are so hot and sexy. People talk about Scandinavians like there’s a hot stereotype and it’s all a big lie. These Christian Ethiopian chicks in the USA you meet in the right areas get me sprung. They all have perfect skin and smile with perfect white teeth and are sweet and feminine.

    I don’t know what the hell they’re doing here. I’m sure it’s an infuriating subsidized refugee resentment nonsense thing. I also don’t know the angles to work. They’re all cloistered off with their families. They don’t go to bars.

  10. underson says:

    It’s a “thing” among Minneapolis’ hipsters to constantly reminding outsiders that their city –allegedly– boasts the largest somali population outside of Africa.
    As if that’s always a great thing.
    As if they were ashamed of their germanic/scandinavian roots and welcome this forced influx as a way to “spice” things up a little. Similar to the “Iowa is too white” memes.
    I’ll tell you this much: none of them lives where such cultural injection occoured. And noone mentions the jihad-sympathizers.

  11. Jason Y. says:

    I’m way too late…just wanted to say that I’d love a Rob Schram — Joe Doe presidency given your takes on immigration.
    It sucks that, by now, this great piece is lost in the SC archives. So if one of the editors will ever read this I’m suggesting to add a tag-thingy based on the subject covered…terrorism, hipster fashion, trump, immigration, drugs, etc…
    Oh well, I’m basically writing on the sand.
    Again, great thoughts by the guest poster and some of the commentators.
    Cheers,
    JY


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