Posted by
Jessica Delfino
• 12.31.12 12:08 am



Once upon a time, in the 1930s to be exact, there was an appetite-suppressing candy which claimed to help people lose up to ten pounds in five days without diet or exercise. The name of this wonderful treat? Ayds.

The candy got really popular during the 70s and 80s, in the era of Diet Coke and size 6, when all the disco babes decided they wanted bodies like Bo Derek.

Turns out the candy’s active ingredient was benzocaine which supposedly numbed people’s faces so they couldn’t wholly enjoy the various stacks of bologna and the many Hostess apple pies they were cramming into their #3 holes. Good trick, right? Later, however, the active ingredient was changed to phenylpropanolamine, a cousin of amphetamine that reportedly gives young women strokes. Bad for business! Especially when reported by The New York Times. Still, their sales weren’t really affected, because strokes are just a minor obstacle when focused on attaining the perfect beach bod. Then the AIDS epidemic hit, and the candy understandably lost lots of sales. Seems no one wanted Ayds anymore.

Tiny Tim wrote a Christmas song about the suppressant called,”Santa Claus Has Got The Ayds,” which proves that he truly was ahead of his time in regards to writing comedic songs and in predicting future diseases and the fantastical deities that may or may not have been exposed to said diseases.

 

—JESSICA DELFINO

 


Comments
  1. raymi says:

    I would love to get some Ayds right now.


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