I don’t see what the big issue is with this guy. Isn’t this what you want in a doctor, someone who’ll tell you to calm the fuck down and just take a bunch of pills?
Too many people have this holy opinion of doctors as these infallible geniuses, who know everything. When in reality, they’re just normal ol’ Joes who were able to memorize a bunch of retarded nicknames for body parts and stick it out through medical school. Sure, they may be able to say, “Oh, I think I’ve heard of this before” and hit the nail on the head from time to time, but that goes for all of us. Doctors are just taking a shot in the dark for the most part, and even when that works out, it’s not all too great.
If you’re going to your doctor because you’ve got some shit going on, and you don’t already know what the problem is, the only news you’ll be getting is bad news. It may not be as bad as “you have cancer” or “you’re a goner,” but it’s usually something painful like “I don’t know what this is. We’re gonna have to run a shit ton of tests on you,” or “we can fix this. You’re gonna have to come in every week and get a barrage of treatments done for fucking months, though.” Why bother? You’re gonna be six feet under eventually. You might as well enjoy yourself, and it’s pretty hard to do that while sitting in a waiting room or laying in a hospital bed. The doctors who run a bunch of tests and force treatments on their patients don’t really give a shit if they get better or not, either.
Almost every single last doctor is a fucking dork. All they care about is learning. Each one of them decided to go to school for an extra couple of years for Christ’s sake. They may be in the business of curing people, but what really gives these guys a raging hard on is discovering a new disease or the cure for one. That’s not what you want in a doctor. You want someone with your best interests at heart. Someone who can give you drugs and is smart enough to put your mind at ease. A dude with a PhD. who’s willing to say, “don’t worry about that shit, bro” and write out a prescription for Xanax or Klonopin is exactly that. Who gives a shit if the guy looks like he plays Dungeons and Dragons?
Everyone may think they want a handsome doctor but that’s only because their brains have been conditioned by E.R. and commercials. A hunk like George Clooney wouldn’t have to do shit in Medical school. All the chicks would let him cheat off their tests or write his papers for him, and he could bop the lady professors for good measure too. You want a guy who didn’t get a sniff of poon in college or medical school and still kind of has to pay for it now. That way, he knows his shit and is dedicated to his work but still has enough resentment for the system to say, “I don’t see a problem with that,” when you ask for a prescription or procedure that could get his license revoked.
For some reason everyone likes to think of doctors as caregivers, who only care about their patients’ health. They’re really just overpriced customer service, and the customer is always right. If the customer wants a bunch of pills or a clean bill of health, I don’t see what the big fuckin’ deal is.