If you’re reading this, you are alive. Most likely largely due to Geraldo raising Charlie Sheen to the level of fear he deserves.
WARNING: This is not suitable for anyone who is at work, needing to do a shit-load of blow and then fuck.
If you’re reading this, you are alive. Most likely largely due to Geraldo raising Charlie Sheen to the level of fear he deserves. This weekend Charlie Sheen became a FOX News Alert©. If this is in fact the first time he’s actually become a FOX News Alert©, it’s long overdue. However, it is a step in the right direction. Finally citizens of America and the tri-continental region can be alerted to Sheen’s escalating thoughts and actions, allowing families to prepare a supply of food, water and duct-tape to make their houses air-tight panic rooms.
For those of you who might smugly conclude this wasn’t Alert© worthy, Geraldo called upon expert porn witness Kacey Jordan (not the guy from 30 Rock), who partied with Sheen at his home recently. Dressed in a white casual slip and see-through stilettos, Kacey coolly and calmly answered each and every one of Geraldo’s horny questions covering a buffet of issues, from orgies, coke, cocaine, smoking coke, sex, buying coke, fucking, Sheen’s nuts, to “Seriously, how much cocaine actually?”
As all of this unraveled, the relentless sheen of Charlie’s brave rampage played out live next to Kacey as Sheen and his incredibly cool assistants broadcasted live in pork pie hat/fedoras.