Posted by
John Pittsley
• 03.29.16 12:10 pm

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It doesn’t take a genius to realize women aren’t the most rational bunch. Whether it’s getting their hair did before showering, topping their drink with a napkin to ensure they don’t get roofied, or taking a cab when the bus is coming in two minutes; it’s clear women are an irrational breed. But nothing illustrates this any better than their refusal to use their period as an excuse for their shitty behavior.

While women are irrational beings, they’re also tremendous fucking pussies. Instead of nutting up and owning this distinguishable trait (men actually find attractive), dames tend to be ashamed of it and find ridiculous excuses for supposed shortcomings, wherever they can. But when it comes to being a cunt, they suddenly grow a pair and scream, “what, I have to be on my period to be a fucking bitch?” Unfortunately for chicks, they’re unable to grasp we know they don’t have to be on the rag to be a bitch but it’s the perfect excuse and by not taking this easy out, time and time again, women consistently prove how irrational, emotional, and obtuse they really are.

I’m not going to get into the science of what a woman’s hormonal fuckfest does to her mind, body, and spirit here. If you want to bore yourself to death with all that shit, go to WebMD or TeachMeSomethingWeAllKnowAlready.org. All that really matters is women act like even bigger kooks when they’re pissing blood from their penis-tracts than when they’re not. That’s a fact. They know it, we know it, and if they decided to use it as an excuse for being serious slags it would be one of the few times they’d have science on their side and sound totally reasonable. But they never do and instead, always decide to crank the crazy level up and get pissed at being handed a free “get out of being a crazy bitch” card.

Now, their irrational response to a legitimate question sort of makes sense, if they were on the rag. When it’s that time of the month, anything goes. Unless you’re a prude. So it stands to reason they’d spit in our face, when we extend an olive branch in their time of need. But they always seem to take offense to this inquiry, no matter what’s going on down there. Maybe it has to do with them being immature babies, who refuse to admit when they’re wrong, or maybe it’s because they’re just not that bright. But there’s no doubt they know when we bring up the possibility they may be on their period, that’s our subtle way of saying “you’re acting more irrational and shitty than usual.” How could they not?

A man only brings up a woman’s menstrual cycle when she’s being such a bitch that he doesn’t mind getting his head chewed off even more than he already is. It may be difficult for women to pick up on when they’re acting like a bunch of fucking cunts, but we’ve pretty much nailed down what causes them to cut our cocks off and bringing up their period is one of them. If women weren’t so obtuse, they’d be able to realize we only bring it up when they’re at their utmost crazy. Instead of flying off the handle, they could use the last ditch effort as an opportunity to take a timeout and blame their irrational behavior on that time of the month. By refusing to blame any bitchy behavior on that annoying Progressive Insurance chick, they make themselves out to be crazier than need be.

Only a handicapped child, feather indian, or man at the end of his rope would bring up a chick’s period, when she’s acting like a bitch. That’s because men aren’t so obtuse and we’ve caught on to how crazy women’s responses are to it. It’s too bad for chicks. If they were able to control their emotions and recognize it’s only a stupid question that’s asked when they’re acting crazy, they could use it to make themselves seem more levelheaded.

-JOHN PITTSLEY


Comments
  1. raymi says:

    Oh I use it as an excuse loads! If I drop shit, or trip, oops I’m getting my period because look, the dropsies. Fact. When arguments escalate because you have no patience and your temper is off the rails more than normal and you’re emotional af, it’s because of aunt flo yo. Periods wreak all kinds of havoc. Do you know like, only one woman and used her as a case study for this POS? Rrrrrrrrrrrrroasted. The Natives culture calls it your moon time, btw, and for 4-6 days women don’t have to do jack shit. Men do all the work for ’em.

  2. Dan of the Mole People says:

    I cannot wait until Marissa Mayer blames how she fucked up Yahoo! due to her monthly cycle.

  3. Florida astronaut diaper lady says:

    Women do not have menstruisms, duh, women are the same as men… You are referring to the weaker who have this issue. I have witnessed many a “dude” acting “on the rag”– in general they can’t control their tempers or be civil in the workplace, which is why domestic violence goes up every year. What a bunch of queers in denial. Biologically though, women are the same as men

  4. John Thomas says:

    My wife told me that she actually wants to kill me during such times. Not like an exaggeration, she can’t stand to look at me (no matter how I’m behaving) and wants to physically hurt me. She mentioned this to her doctor, and her doctor (a woman) gave her a pamphlet on PMS. Hilarious.

  5. Shrew Tamer says:

    The rusty nail is only the peak portion of the Looney cycle. Their minds are driven by Anecdotal Logic. Their feelings trump reasoning in general when it suits their arguments.
    Women are for procreation, men are for conversation. Comedy contrasts the difference between the sexes brains. They take everything personal.
    That’s why their called — Cunts.

  6. Let's hear it.... says:

    Fuck. marry. Kill. What say you?

    Flo from Progressive
    The Red Haired Wendy’s girl
    Jan From the Toyota showroom

    I say you kill Flo, Bang the hell out of Jan and marry the Wendy’s girl(Sex AND free Food!)

  7. Ike Turner says:

    What? The only monthly visit my girl better be getting is from the Avon lady!

  8. Alec Leamas says:

    “The Natives culture calls it your moon time, btw, and for 4-6 days women don’t have to do jack shit. Men do all the work for ’em.”
    ______________________________________

    Seems like the Natives are becoming Westernized. Watch out, or they’ll come to follow the lead of their Western sisters and learn not to do jack shit the remaining 25-27 days as well.

  9. your dad says:

    Can you imagine a woman for President?

  10. John Thomas says:

    Flo looks a lot older in that Newsweek extreme close up.

  11. raymi says:

    I was on my period when I wrote my irrational comment. Actually, it’s the day before you get your period when you’re a fat water retaining pig psycho. Once you get it you’re like aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh relief.

  12. Lucky Man says:

    Oh great genetic cosmic roll of the chromosomal dice, thank you most profusely for my 50/50 landing on the XY. Between the leaky plumbing and the faulty thermostat, the incubator sex is a mess, not to speak of the frontal lobe issues.


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