Posted by
Christi Bradnox
• 02.03.09 11:27 pm


Remember when Pee Wee said he loves fruit salad and then Ms. Yvonne goes, “Why don’t you marry it?” and fucking Pee literally did it!? Apparently this is not a very unique event

Watch Married To The Eiffel Tower [Part 1]  |  View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

Remember when Pee Wee said he loves fruit salad and then Ms. Yvonne goes, “Why don’t you marry it?” and fucking Pee literally did it!? Apparently this is not a very unique event and the name for people who do this is objectum-sexuals. One lady even married the Eiffel Tower. This is thoroughly explored in the film “Married to the Eiffel Tower” wherein we meet several objectum-sexuals who have met through the internet and love objects, including a lady who loves a ride called 1001 Nacht. She looks like a bull dyke – which she kind of is – and all the best quotes revolve around her. For example, she writes poetry about the inanimate objects she loves (and fucks by the way, these women, all women, fuck these things) that includes the line “I love him for the narrowness of his jibs.” I know that sounds like the greatest words to ever come out of a documentary but you have obviously haven’t heard the narrator introduce this woman: “Amy is also in love with this little banister called Lou in her bedroom.” Good luck hearing a better sentence than that before you die.

Hat tip: Stan Aleshin


Comments
  1. lowdirt says:

    oh that is rich lady

  2. g says:

    That is genuinely fucking interesting.

  3. anonymisour says:

    the lady’s british voice is so soothing, she almost makes this sound normal

  4. HalfAfrican says:

    Vane$$a is that you?

    You seem to have vanished since I said I liked you . . . maybe even now, love you.

  5. Kaye says:

    i fucking hate that goddam british accent. FUCKING SHUT UP!

  6. Chachi and the MS-13s says:

    She should stop kidding herself and just get the vibrator.

  7. yo if u sit ur twat on that bow and arrow arrow it totally won’t kill you. I swears.

  8. Street Boning says:

    ‘The knew I loved my bow, but they didn’t know that I LOOOOOOVED my bow!’

  9. olawah says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

  10. skaht says:

    and i thought most lesbians were boring. Jesus.

  11. Danielle says:

    If you’re on too many meds and you’re feeling suicidal, watch this video a couple of times. It will make you feel sane.

  12. Kenny's Wife says:

    this has all the potencial in the world to be funny… but its actually really sad!

    boooo :(

  13. this. says:

    i empathize, since i am in love with this website.

  14. Sally Jessy says:

    I don’t feel very well after watching this… Maybe its the arrow in my vagina.

  15. Snaggle Tooth says:

    Best line (2nd video): “I’m definitely physically attracted to this fence, um, and I would like to get to know this fence better.”

    But, ya, I seriously do pity these two for the f’d-up childhoods they had.

  16. boop. says:

    interesting how she only falls in love with male objects

  17. lol@u says:

    if you believe this I have a bridge to sell you.

  18. imyar says:

    cuckoo bananaanananannananas!!

  19. Satan Davis Jr. says:

    wow i cant believe i watched the whole thing. is it possible to fall in love with a razor blade?

  20. consuala says:

    why do these people exist.

    Berlin wall, a bow and arrow, what the fuck.

    I had heard of this, but of course I never even had the mental process of thinking it was real.

    I was laughing at first, but it just kept going…………. I’m not crying but I feel I should

  21. b says:

    wow, patton oswalt really likes that ride.

    That part in about wanting to exchange fluids was totally f’d.

  22. buster nut poindexter says:

    b says, you just made merlot squirt out my nostrils

  23. […] you thought that men in love with Real Dolls was strange, wait until you see Strange Love: Married to the Eiffel Tower, which follows these fetishists (all of them, for some reason, female). Interestingly, Objectum […]

  24. buster nut poindexter says:

    im sorry but the part with the ride and the german music made me dieeeee laughing

  25. Emyko says:

    That was so amazing! Hilarious, novel, touching. Weird.

  26. Amen Raw says:

    Listen, this is absolute 100 percent bulletproof evidence that women are fundamentally fucked up emotionally and are always to blame in relationship woes.

    All of these people are women, and all of them can somehow create drama between two totally inanimate objects that have literally no personality beyond what their desperately bored imaginations grant them. HOW CAN YOU FALL OUT OF LOVE WITH A BOW? The bow clearly did nothing wrong, so chalk any of this “my heart is just telling me blah blah” is just a bunch of looney female bullshit (in the lunastic, lunatic “of the womb” meaning), These women having a “seven year itch” about a fucking bridge or a wall (they even fall in love with the SAME wall just like lame girls all wanting to jock the same guy), and that’s unreasonable and proves their imaginations and naive, stunted ideas of “love” are the sole culprit.

    At least men can take a living, thinking girl and objectify them to the point of rendering them a suction powered jizz collector. These drama queen ladies could take a literal cybertronic dicksucker 5000 machine and create a whole fucking backstory and ‘tude for it just so it can fight over her with an especially sexy and adulterous globe/caterpillar truck/buoy/Hoover Dam.

    CONCLUSION — these women have never, ever fucked anyone in their entire lives and they are all secretly lesbian. Also where are the people who only want to fuck specific colors?

  27. secret slammer says:

    you have to admit that bow is pretty hot, any fool can view that.

    plus you can’t conflate all women with these vortexes.

    and it’s only because women who feel like this seek others to share in their emotional whatevers, I’m sure the male equivalent is out there too but they’re silently fucking the exhaust of some leaf blower or putting some special ballpoint pen up their asses and they’re doing it solo. What dude would admit to another guy he’s totally in love with some fucked up object like a bucket or christmas tree stand or some shit?

  28. […] Go on, guess what “objectum-sexuals” love: a. fruit salad b. the Eiffel Tower c. “the narrowness of his jibs” d. all of the […]

  29. sass says:

    Busted: Man fucks picnic table http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,343031,00.html
    Also, how did she manage to get a piece of the golden gate bridge? Wouldn’t that have been like tearing off a toe from her lover, or more like a hang nail?

  30. why says:

    oh my dear god…
    attentionwhore

  31. Anonymous says:

    It’s a joke of course

  32. Lmao says:

    I’m a spoon. Pleasure me.

  33. […] when you thougth you’d seen the strangest things… STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE ? GUESS WHAT OBJECTUM-SEXUALS LOVE What the heck !!! Is this why some men love their cars […]

  34. […] Married to the Eiffel Tower, Pt. 2 TVCarnage: Guess What Objectum-Sexuals Love Jezebel: Objectum Sexuality: When relationships with inanimate objects become intimate The […]

  35. Street Boners says:

    What? Girl,aren’t you supposed to be married now?stop running around giving it up to random fences on the street! jeez…I also like to pretend they call them BILFs and CILFs and FILFs.

  36. Not Street Boners says:

    OK whoa.I take that back.Bows and samurai swords as lovers make total sense after being molested.shit.

  37. LMC says:

    Nutty buckets….they’re all nutty buckets!

  38. making love to the cross says:

    I wonder if any of these weirdos are in love with and have sex with the cross. That would rile up some Christians!

  39. Dr. Furious says:

    i’ve never been so intrigued by a video.

    1001 NACHT forever.

    the weirdest part was when she made the fence lady watch the video of the ride and was so into the song it played.

  40. Some kinda girl says:

    WTF!!!! Hahahhaa, there are some craaaaazy people in this world!

  41. this person says:

    “i didnt expect to see a fence like this here…..”

    so sad, but so many good one-liners.

  42. […] you mean this video? STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE ? GUESS WHAT OBJECTUM-SEXUALS LOVE __________________ Logo design […]

  43. MikeB says:

    I feel nauseous.

  44. David says:

    whack jobs.

  45. pencildick says:

    i’m in love with the an egg sandwich

  46. […] friend sent me this link. It is a "WTF" type of documentary… STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE GUESS WHAT OBJECTUM-SEXUALS LOVE __________________ – {EVAN} :: {POSTERS} :: {ITHINKPLAIN}-:: {BLOG} […]

  47. […] called Lou in her bedroom.” Good luck hearing a better sentence than that before you die.  ? Verfasst von hnnh Eingeordnet unter […]

  48. […] Married to the Eiffel Tower, Pt. 2 TVCarnage: Guess What Objectum-Sexuals Love Jezebel: Objectum Sexuality: When relationships with inanimate [. . .] The Indepenent: I married […]

  49. ??? says:

    That airport meeting is so…. it’s just… so… i can’t even put into words how fucking bizarre that was.

  50. […] If you haven’t seen this its fucked up. STREET BONERS and TV CARNAGE GUESS WHAT OBJECTUM-SEXUALS LOVE __________________ […]

  51. […] I love this bridge so much! Thanks to Steph B. for this one. […]

  52. imamazin says:

    ew

  53. Fuckabridge says:

    who fucks a bridge a fence and a bow?
    how would you even do that unless you kinda grinded on it.
    and the bow, how did she pull that one off, IT HAD WHEELS ON THE END.
    YOU CANT PUT A WHEEL THERE.
    fucking sickos.

  54. someone says:

    i can relate.. to an extent. i’m in love with a drug, but i still have a great relationship with my boyfriend.

  55. Donna says:

    I cannot believe people like this are out there walking our streets….shouldn’t they like be in a place like “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”?????…..an Insane Asylum

  56. Donna says:

    BTW……I NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN ALL MY LIFE WATCHING THIS DOCUMENTARY…..

  57. meeDonna says:

    Objectum as far as I’m concerned is the clinical term given to a disorder of the mind….

    It amazes me how these people are able to accept their madness as such normalcy in their lives….a sure sign I believe that these people should be commited….I cannot believe people like this are out there walking the streets….they should be in a Hospital somewhere recieveing the proper treatment required to help them overcome this delusion….

    I can understand when someone say’s to me, ” I love my car or I love my home” ect., because we can all feel some kind of attachment to things that brings us pleasure in our lives….but when we start desireing such things as intimate sexual contact from the object or think we can communicate with such inanimate objects and fall in love with them as if they were another human being, then it’s time to seek out help because it is just inot normal….

    Answer me this…..

    Have we become so numb as a society that in our own madness we are willing to accept such things as normal????….Have we become so politically correct about everything we no longer see the madness, the sickness in things such as this????….Are we a “whatever floats your boat society” now????….Where does it end????….or where will it end????….

    Speaking for myself….I’m quite disturbed by what it is I viewed last night….and I know it’s not the first or last thing I’m sure that will do that….whether it’s people that fall in love with inanimate objects, be it life size dolls or the Eiffel Tower….the rash of child abductions and murders….the mass shooting at schools, businesses ect., or the murdering of innocent human blood in the name of your God to further you political agendas….the Madness in this world is overwhelming….and in my opinion, if we do not see it as that, well then we have just become as mad as the rest of them….God help us….

  58. Spinnerchild says:

    This is one of the funniest and most bizarre things I have ever seen and I have been laughing about it ever since! Saw a similar documentary with guys and they have the same thing only with cars. They fall in love and get jealous of other cars and will even go down peoples driveways to see (and wank over) another car hahahaha
    I’ve told everyone and now it’s a running joke that I’m either going to jump off a bridge or fall in love with it……

  59. […] And if you want to see more, you can actually watch the documentary online here. […]

  60. Zevan says:

    AHHAHAHHA She should stop kidding herself and just get the vibrator.

    In anyway – https://gearexpertguides.com/

    “i didnt expect to see a fence like this here…..”

    so sad, but so many good one-liners.


Leave A Reply