Posted by
Jermaine Dumbpree
• 11.30.17 12:40 pm

Screen Shot 2017-11-30 at 9.32.24 AM

Can you think of anything more fucked up than a man letting they woman have a guy friend? I’ve heard of doing some wild shit for pussy but man, that’s some crazy shit.

If the dude likes dick, that’s cool. I guess bitches need gay friends to help them feel like less of sluts or to give them a better idea of what’s going on inside of a man’s mind. That just shows you how bad they are at reasoning. Gay dudes don’t think about life or relationships like we do and ain’t nobody gonna be comparing a girl to her gay friend if they think she’s a hoe. They won’t even compare her to her straight friends. If a girl has a reputation, people are gonna think what they want and it ain’t gonna help when she already got a man but hangs out with other straight dudes on the side.

It don’t matter if it’s an old friend or somebody from work, that shit don’t look good for the chick or the dude she’s dating. Unless the guy likes dick, people are gonna think he’s givin’ it to her. Maybe if the boyfriend was a real pimp and getting paid for the girl’s time it would be different but that shit still don’t look all that great.

How much money you gotta get paid to call a woman your girl and still have her sleeping with all sorts of motherfuckers? I’m gonna set that at a cool one million dollars for myself. Even if I knew that fool wasn’t stickin’ it to my woman, I still wouldn’t be cool with that sorta shit.

Don’t get it twisted now. I’m not gonna let a platonic relationship between a man and a woman keep me from getting with a dime piece. That’s cool if a chick wants to mess with some sucker’s head by kickin’ it with him and never putting out but I need to meet that fool before making things official. And you best believe I’m slowly putting that relationship on ice because if I’m getting tied up with a chick who doesn’t want me sleeping around anymore, all her friends got to talk with a lisp. Or, she better worry about them hangin’ out with me.

There ain’t no need for a grown ass woman to have a man just as a friend, when she’s already got one waiting at home. What the hell could she be lookin’ for there? That homie isn’t going to be able to give her anything that her man can’t give her. Anything really important a woman could be looking for in a friendship, she should be able to get from her girlfriends. And if she don’t have any of those then you know something’s up.

The real problem is having a girl that still wants a guy friend. Those little pussies, who’ve officially been put in the friend-zone, are there for a woman’s single days. Chicks need normal heterosexual male interaction coming from a dude, who doesn’t have any hopes of getting any, because every other interaction with a male is them getting dicked and dipped out on. Once they get a man, they should be getting it all in one package. If a man can’t provide that for his woman then it’s time to call it a wrap.

-JERMAINE DUMBPREE


Comments
  1. Totaler Brah says:

    Jermaine Dumbpree likes dick.

  2. proudest says:

    Ironically, the writer has never actually dated a woman.

  3. The Pedantic Penis says:

    You typed it out with the dialect?????
    Who are you, SuperFly?

  4. insickness says:

    preach


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