Teddy Bears are not supposed to be cool. Their job description clearly states that they need to be:
#A: comforting and submissive #B: cuddly and innocent and #C: in need of constant hugs and protection, but not COOL or in charge! A Teddy Bear in sunglasses is an awkward message. It tells the person in need of a cuddle: “Look, I got MY shit together, time for you to get YOUR shit together. I do not want to fucking HUG anymore! I want to finger bang, play pool, dance to Huey and Lewis and The News and be a KILLER bartender who rides a ridiculously loud motor bicycle. GROW UP!”
Way to kiss Teddy Bear ass Keanu! YOU lose HE wins. He HATES you and he’s the one dressed like your mom’s, brother’s magician friend, Stephen. You are like a Teddy Bitch to his Teddy Man.
Clip courtesy of the glorious and award stealing TV CARNAGE DVD “A Sore For Sighted Eyes. Available in the streetcarnage.com Gift Emporium aka STORE.” BUY IT NOW! xo