Posted by
Jim Goad
• 08.30.13 12:00 pm


I have.

I first moved to NYC in late 1985, when crack and AIDS were the huge raging news stories. Figuring that trying crack was less risky than trying AIDS, I opted for the crack.

The first hit I ever took was on the Lower East Side on my way to work at a night job in a print shop. I saw some brothers hanging outside a homeless shelter smoking a joint, so in a gesture of interracial outreach, I asked for a hit. They told me the weed was mixed with crack, which, like their skin color, was not an impediment for me.

I took roughly 1.3 hits, thanked my new friends, and started walking westward toward my job. Within three steps, it was as if someone had adjusted the world’s lights more brightly. No complaints.

The second time, I bought a vial from a Puerto Rican who lived near me in West New York, NJ. My girlfriend and I filled our glass weed pipe with a nugget, took a few lungfuls, and it suddenly felt as if my head was the size of a medicine ball. It reminded me of doing whippets, except without that rushing sensation as if Niagara Falls had suddenly decided to pass through your head. It wasn’t exactly pleasurable, so I was still not convinced that I should develop a life-ending crack habit.

In the autumn of 1986, I decided to give crack cocaine another fair shake. My girlfriend and I drove up to Washington Heights above Harlem and copped some buttery nuggets in a plastic vial from a Spanish Wolfman.

We motored up to the Catskill Mountains for the weekend, staying at a moldy old resort where meals, lodging, and bingo were all included in the $99 price. On Saturday morning we shoved a white rock into a glass pipe and took some megablasts while watching Pee Wee’s Playhouse. My head swelled up to weather-balloon size and it seemed as if my heart was going to punch through my ribs and splatter all over the room. But as soon as it felt safe again, we smoked some more. That night, gacked on crack, we drove through the dark mountain forests to a posh hotel featuring kosher comedians such as Mal Z. Lawrence.

The ride back was black and quiet. Trees were huddled deep and thick on both sides of the narrow road. Suddenly, as we hit a dip, a bearded wildman in a fringed-rawhide jacket jumped out of the woods and tried leaping onto the car hood. It was something out of a “Freddy” or “Jason” movie, minus the production values and plus the real threat of death. I hit the accelerator and left him in the forest.

We reached our hotel with foreheads sweating and our hearts battered like punching bags. I decided not to develop a crack habit.

So how about you, kids? Ever smoked crack?

—JIM GOAD


Comments
  1. Anonymous says:

    I have. It was awesome! No joke the best drug ever! My girlfriend at the time, years later, said that I made her smoke crack. I tried to explain to her that I didn’t even want her to smoke because it’d be more crack for me, but she didn’t get it…

  2. Raymi says:

    Haven’t, I’m cracked out enough.

  3. I’ve smoked it maybe ten times. Always small batch artisinal crack prepared with my own hands from locally sourced ingredients. The last dregs of my eight ball boiled with baking soda, in other words. I called it “freebase.” I thought that was the word for crack made by a white person.

    Like you, it made my head swell up. I had the sensation of Tweety Birds flying around my skull, like after Sylvester gets clocked with an Acme brand hammer. Like you, I felt my heart rumbling in my ribs trying to escape. I had wanted it to be super-coke, making me excited and chatty and happy. Instead it felt like standing up too fast. As the feeling passed, I’d steal my roommate’s VCR, jerk it endlessly to filthy porn, try and fail to suck my own dick, and pass out. Wake up with burnt foil stuck to my sweaty carcass.

    All in all, 4 out of 10. Worth doing to say you did it but otherwise stupid.

  4. Tool says:

    Sure, I tried it. Kind of had a similar experience as far as feeling like my head would explode. It was pleasurable to an extent. I felt really good all of the sudden. I decided to largely leave it alone after that, although I’ve been known to smear some coke and baking soda with water on a piece of aluminum foil from time to time since then.

  5. I have not tried crack. Synthetic anxiety terrifies me.

  6. Tim Lewis says:

    Man that little girl in the back dancing gots some moves.

  7. yo says:

    Yup, years ago…for a few months I enjoyed it very much. Wished I did it more back when.

  8. Anonymous says:

    never. i’m way too much of a control freak to allow something that addictive into my system even once.

  9. Mealium says:

    Tried it in Costa Rica in 2003. Felt like I had a plastic bag over my head and my heart was trying to beat itself free of my ribcage. Not fun at all – no idea how people get addicted.

  10. Barth says:

    During my heavy drinking days, when booze became boring, crack made alcohol fun again. Not for long, though.

  11. Cha Cha says:

    @ Grarles Chodin….

    Artisinal crack???? Do they get up before dawn and craft that at Panera’s? HAHAHA

  12. Washingtonian Fred says:

    What a strange coincidence. I was watching Drunk History just now and I google Derrick Beckles (he was on the show for this particular episode) and this site pops up and the first story I see is about smoking crack. Funny thing for me is that I just finished a 9 hour crack bender last night. I’m getting married soon and I’m kind of trying to sow my drug oats before it happens because the party is over for me basically. I love my girl but shes all business so things like excessive drinking w the boys, smoking weed, and doing lines are all no longer going to be a part of my life. But not to digress… Yeah man, I’ve definitely smoked crack and like the first poster here I think it’s one of the best highs ever, ever. Problem is that you gotta keep in mind that you’re SMOKING CRACK which is one of the most addictive drugs known to man. So you can’t do it all the time because you will definitely get hooked. For me, this recent “session” came about after my weed dealer had some rocks one day and asked me if I wanted to try it. I’ve actually tried it in the past like 20 years ago when I was in high school but I always opted for lines of powder as opposed to crack rock. And on this particular day, 20 years later I decided what the hell so I bought about 150 bucks worth of rock, got a hotel room and went to town (my fiancée is out of town for a day). And it was pretty awesome but nothing I’d like to continue doing. When you smoke it its so powerful that you can tell its addictive as hell. And it’s a very anti social drug. I mean, you cant just say hey guys lets go smoke some crack! People tend to not want to hang around you after that. And it can probably kill you. But yeah dude. I smoked it recently and it was awesome. Be careful!

  13. TomSawyer says:

    “Yeah man, I’ve definitely smoked crack and like the first poster here I think it’s one of the best highs ever, ever.”

    The guy on crack has a better short term memory than me. I had to scroll up.

  14. tod ohree says:

    wait, shouldn’t we be focusing on the hit and run that took place here?

  15. jissom jigaboo says:

    Yes, sir. The first time was back in 2006, during an unseasonably hot summer at an S.R.O in San Franciso with a burly 40ish year old chocolate-coloured man and his 18 year old puerto rican girlfriend. After several blasts and kindly declining the sexual use of said girlfriend for money, I hit the street-or the street hit me, because, it felt like my head was going to explode from sheer pleasure.

  16. Howard huge says:

    The nitrous comparison is apt … Smoking crack and shooting coke both result in a “ringer” which is the same wha wha thing that happens with nitrous or any trash inhalant … When folks talk about the “first hit” and how you spend the rest of yr life chasing that high they obviously haven’t smoked much crack . Day 3 with no sleep and no interruption , cocaine psychosis setting in , is when the super human psychedelic powers of crack are revealed .

  17. […] as dangerous as the four drunk guys who pick you up while you’re hitchhiking on acid. Even crack, meth, and PCP failed to live up to the tantalizing horror stories that led me to sample them in […]

  18. regina says:

    Never tried it…women don’t try it …..if you got a man on it….LEAVE THE MOTHERFUCKER…..or risk loosing everything


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