Posted by
Wonderhussy
• 12.04.12 09:00 am


I’d always been curious about being a SuicideGirls model—basically it’s some website where alternative models make money posting nudie pics, so I thought I’d be good for it, even though I don’t have any tattoos or anything.

They approved my application, but when I read the rules for photo submissions I wanted to PUKE!!! Basically, they want you to submit “tasteful” nude photo sets that are quirky and alternative, but only as THEY define quirky and alternative. It’s OK not to have tattoos or piercings, but it’s NOT OK to wear anything “old-timey burlesque,” “stripper shoes,” “fishnets,” anything “metallic/sparkly” or “top hats…” and NO WIGS!!!

WTF?! So it’s OK to have blue dreadlocks and a brass buttplug in your earlobe, but no wigs?!?! Get outta here! Apparently it’s one of those sites where unless it was crocheted by a Chilean Etsy merchant, you can’t wear it. LAME! I hate that kind of hipster shtick. SuicideGirls is lame as fuck, and I refuse to be party to a buzz-killing empire like that. I wadded up my application and threw it in the trash at once (Well, OK, it was online…so I just closed the browser window. But still).

 

—WONDERHUSSY

 

 


Comments
  1. santa says:

    isn’t it time for that tit job?

  2. raymi says:

    Demanding and outdated ideals.

  3. CJ says:

    It’s targeted at a specific audience, and that’s what they want. It’s called a niche market, jeez.

    You’re better off avoiding them anyway. I knew a girl who did it, and it’s a pretty fucked up contract. They basically own you for ten years.

  4. Suicide Girls was really fucking stupid even when it was still sort of considered cool. Anything that pisses them off gives me a deep sense of satisfaction. Even if it’s junk shop disco gear. Surprisingly, a lot of tattooed and pierced people are some of the most uptight, conformist, and absurdly judgmental assholes you will ever talk to in your whole life. Strange world…

  5. Joey says:

    The thought of Wonderhussy committing suicide gave me a boner.

  6. tim says:

    they are paying you, right? so do what they ask, idiot. it’s called having an aesthetic and standards. without that they’re just some random amateur porn site no one will pay for.


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