Posted by
• 10.31.14 11:42 am

Mrs. Doubtfire - Das stachelige Kindermädchen

Why are gays and lesbians saddling themselves with these nuts? I hear most trannies are straight. There are also all those straight guys who just like dressing up as women because it feels good. What the hell do lesbians have in common with that? I say cut the fat and go as a streamlined group of JUST gays and lesbians. 

    • Lesbian: a woman whose enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction is to other women. Some lesbians may prefer to identify as gay, or as gay women.


    • Gay: the adjective used to describe people whose enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attractions are to people of the same sex (e.g., a gay man, gay people).



    • Bisexual: an individual who is physically, romantically, and/or emotionally attracted to men and women.



    • Transgender: an umbrella adjective for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. The term may include, but is not limited to, transsexuals, cross-dressers, and other gender-variant people. Transgender people may identify as female-to-male (FTM) or male-to-female (MTF). Transgender people may or may not decide to alter their bodies hormonally and/or surgically.



    • Queer: traditionally a pejorative term, “queer” has been appropriated by some LGBT people to describe themselves. However, it is not universally accepted even within the LGBT community and should be avoided unless quoting or describing someone who self-identifies that way.



    • Questioning: the adjective used to describe people who are unsure of their sexual orientation.



    • Intersex: the adjective used to describe a person whose biological sex is ambiguous. There are many genetic, hormonal, or anatomical variations that make a person’s sex ambiguous (e.g., Klinefelter syndrome). The term “intersex” is not interchangeable with or a synonym for “transgender.”



    • Asexual: an individual who is not physically, romantically, or emotionally attracted to others.



    • Ally: a person who is not lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual, or pansexual but who supports the LGBT(QQIAAP) community.


  • Pansexual: a person who is attracted to others without taking gender or biological sex into account.

All these sexually ambiguous BTQIAPs are making the LGs look bad. I mean look at Jeffrey Tambor. We’re not supposed to laugh at that? We were supposed to laugh when Robin Williams did it. We’ve been supposed to laugh at men in drag since theater was invented. Soldiers in WWII use to put on lipstick and a wig and dance around on stage making their buddies piss themselves. Now we’re supposed to not notice how ridiculous they look? When my dad came downstairs dressed like this for one of my mom’s “Hen Nights,” her friends cried their makeup off. I thought they were going to die laughing.



Drag queens used to be fun. Now they’re a drag. As for the other letters in the acronym. I don’t even understand them. What the fuck is an ally? Just a buddy of a gay? You don’t get to be in the acronym just because you know a guy. That’s like someone with a black friend joining the NAACP. “Friends” isn’t a thing. Also, polyamorous are those weird, ugly nerds who pretend normal love is a myth. We hear all about them when they start out their relationship. Not so much when they inevitably break up a year later. Where are the old ones if they’re so normal. I see plenty of old gays and lesbians. Not a lot of old, bi guys.

The worst part of the acronym are these college kids “denying gender” and pretending they are a lesbian trapped in a man’s body or whatever. They are like lampreys on the LG shark. They’re not genderless or gay or anything interesting. They are boring, middle class kids pretending to be different. They are basically wiggers (I guarantee you there will be no old wiggers in 30 years). LG has become mainstream and the only thing holding them back from total acceptance in society are the losers they hang out with. We want to invite you to the party LG, but your “allies” ruin everything.

My column on the subject is HERE.

And, as usual, the comments are insane.



  1. Ghetto Defendant says:

    You know for an avowed libertarian, you sure have a shit tone of rules for how everybody else is supposed to live. I still agree with you that a lot of trannies are out of their minds though.

  2. ONLYMERK! says:

    “(I guarantee you there will be no old wiggers in 30 years)”

    Michael Rapaport maybe.

    do Filipinos count as wiggers? I think so…

  3. John says:

    What kind of dictionary notes that a particular word “should not be used” in certain circumstances? We’re politically correcting definitions now too?

  4. Upsyndrome says:

    Ghetto encouraging one another to see common sense rather than calling on the state to dictate it for us is the essence of libertarianism.

  5. dick lubin says:

    “I hear most trannies are straight.”

    cool research bro

  6. MoistAngst says:

    There are plenty of old wiggers walking around here in the rustbelt. The greater Detroit metropolitan area alone is a wigger mecca where one can find wiggers of any age or socioeconomic class. Also realize that wiggerdom isn’t exclusively linked to hip-hop culture. The first wiggers were in fact jazz aficionados and were referred to as “hipsters.” It’s certainly not anything new. I’ve seen old white guys (and I mean senior citizens in their 80s) in jazz clubs who despite their age try their damnedest to dress pimpish and talk like some old black bebop musician circa 1946. Norman Mailer wrote about the phenomenon back in the 1950s with his famous essay “The White Negro.” The white Jewish jazz musician (and proud wigger himself) Mezz Mezzrow also documented his experiences with the trend in his tome “Really the Blues.” The famous writer Henry Miller admits to being something of a wigger during the 1920s when he worshipped the black socialist Hubert Harrison. The wigger cult is multigenerational like most any other subculture. In short, there were wiggers before us, and there will be wiggers long after we’re gone.

  7. president, Bloor Felony Club says:

    @MoistAngst well said, brilliant. Unrelated: one drunken night in Pittsburgh I had words with a Wig outside a taco joint and he took a failed swing at me. I gave that fucker a reverse bulldog/DDT right on the pavement. A couple brothers in the taco place came outside to see the commotion. Did they step in and help out their Caucasian aspirant? Nope. They laughed their asses off at the honky fight with everyone else. Hopefully that sorry incident inspired my fellow combatant to abandon his calculated persona and there’s one less Wig in the rust belt. But I doubt it.

  8. carter the unstoppable pecs machine says:

    Handy reference from the non-academic world:

    Asexual – afraid to be gay
    Questioning – really afraid to be gay
    Bisexual – about to be gay
    Intersex – needs surgery, the poor bastards
    Queer – too lazy to be gay
    Pansexual – sociopath

  9. Tim Lewis says:

    All wiggers change when the start dealing with real niggers ,if they survive the experience ..I’m a recovering wigger .i haven’t wiggered in 20 years .learned that lesson the hard way.

  10. MoistAngst says:

    @president, Bloor Felony Club
    Seeing the wigger in a fight is a sight to behold. You can see the fire burning in their eyes. In their minds, they’re really “’bout to put in work.” The whole gangsta fantasy is coming to life for them, and it seems almost like a religious experience. Black street slang and speech idioms get shrieked out in voices that are neither black nor street. Preposterous “boxing” stances and footwork are displayed. Comically exaggerated pimp struts and gangsta swagga make an appearance along with wildly gesticulating hand movements. It’s absolutlely fucking hypnotic to watch. If they win the battle, it simply reaffirms the G status that they’ve made up for themselves. If they lose, they merely chalk it up to “livin’ da lyfe of a soljah.” Either way, they never see themselves for the losers they truly are. It’s funny that you bring up Pittsburgh. I used to live there and can attest to their wig population being among the more aggressive of the breed. It’s also the only place where I’ve ever seen gay wiggers. Once you’ve seen a 6′-4″ white guy try his best to dress and act like Sha’ Niqua you can’t escape the conclusion that America has just about had it.

  11. president, Bloor Felony Club says:

    You should begin writing a comedy series about the gay wigs of Pittsburgh immediately.

  12. Hank Himmler says:

    ‘Dolph couldn’t stand all the drama with these kooks. That’s why he wanted all of them baked. There’s your history lesson for November 2014, kids.

  13. tdp says:

    I agree MoistAngst, you need to write that shiz! (shit) This was some quality commenting.

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