Gawker cannot get over Kari Ferrell. She gets about three of four posts a day and they’re so head over heels they even asked me to give my two cents
Gawker cannot get over Kari Ferrell. She gets about three of four posts a day and they’re so head over heels they even asked me to give my two cents like I’m some kind of hipster expert that can see into this bitch’s brain. As far as the actual case goes, I don’t have much to say other than the classic Matt Sweeney quote, “It’s New York. You got hustled” but as far as Grifters go, I got an idea, what if you didn’t let on you knew their whole deal?
I said this…
TIME MACHINES ARE A GRIFTER’S KRYPTONITE
I realize hindsight is 20/20 but how awesome would it be if you knew a chick was a hipster grifter but didn’t let on and dated her anyways? She’d fake cry during intercourse and tell you she wants to have your babies and you’d be all, “I know Kari. I’ve never loved anyone this much.” How intensely dark and fucking weird would that be!?
You’d have to constantly avoid situations where you give her cash and you’d have to sleep with your credit cards up your ass but, as we’ve learned from seducing strippers, the more dough you put out the more you’re seen as a dolt. She’d actually appreciate the challenge. Oh what a heavy thrill it would be watching her out of the corner of your eye, trying to predict her next hustle. Anyone with a junkie roommate knows how challenging this can be. You’d have to keep your laptop at work and all your CDs would need to go into storage but cheating a cheater must make you feel like God. I bet your hands would shake at the end of every encounter.
If you don’t find this kind of idea exciting, you are precisely the sort of pussy hipster grifters prey on – and you deserve it.
Mini Sex Cops (featuring the Hipster Grifter) from JoshuaHeller on Vimeo.
(about 60% of the way in she asks an ugly guy if he’ll go spelunking in her cavernous vagina. She seems pretty low on enthusiasm for a hustler)