My costar from the blockbuster hit Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants recently hit a deer so hard on his motorbike, he cut the fucker in two.
Road rash gloves.
Deer have way too many entrails.
“There were 4 things flying through the air” the guy behind him said, “Steve, the bike, the front of the deer and the back of the deer.” Apparently the two halves of the deer were held together with entrails and skin like a pair of Bambi nunchucks.
“Hey dude, your legs are on backwards.”
Steve was in shock and didn’t realize how fucked up his body was until the next morning when he had to be carried out of bed and brought to the hospital. He severely fucked up his elbow and knee and his hands are shredded but the most serious thing was this inch-deep hole in his leg. It got stuffed with deer gut shit and the infection almost cost him his leg.
Steve has been forced to retire the bike because fixing it would cost $1,000 but he hasn’t given up. In an exclusive interview with Street Carnage he said, “I am still going to ride. I am just going to be much more strict about my three rules.” They are…
1- Always wear a helmet.
2- Always wear a leather jacket, boots, and gloves.
3- Never drive at dusk or dawn because that’s when the deer come out.
Obeying the speed limit did not make the list which is really what almost killed him but that’s the way it is with the kids today. You can’t tell them anything.