Posted by
• 12.10.12 11:00 am

My costar from the blockbuster hit Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants recently hit a deer so hard on his motorbike, he cut the fucker in two.

Road rash gloves.

Deer have way too many entrails.

“There were 4 things flying through the air” the guy behind him said, “Steve, the bike, the front of the deer and the back of the deer.” Apparently the two halves of the deer were held together with entrails and skin like a pair of Bambi nunchucks.

“Hey dude, your legs are on backwards.”

Steve was in shock and didn’t realize how fucked up his body was until the next morning when he had to be carried out of bed and brought to the hospital. He severely fucked up his elbow and knee and his hands are shredded but the most serious thing was this inch-deep hole in his leg. It got stuffed with deer gut shit and the infection almost cost him his leg.


Steve has been forced to retire the bike because fixing it would cost $1,000 but he hasn’t given up. In an exclusive interview with Street Carnage he said, “I am still going to ride. I am just going to be much more strict about my three rules.” They are…

1- Always wear a helmet.

2- Always wear a leather jacket, boots, and gloves.

3- Never drive at dusk or dawn because that’s when the deer come out.

Obeying the speed limit did not make the list which is really what almost killed him but that’s the way it is with the kids today. You can’t tell them anything.


  1. Anonymous says:

    for the record my elbow was fine.
    but i broke my collarbone and 3 ribs.

  2. mr.meat says:

    shoulda bagged the carcass and sent it to the dude in florida that makes squirrels with guns. he coulda stuffed it as is.

  3. Pubic Discourse says:

    Talk about a deer in the headlights. Bwoof.

  4. Holy shit, he almost went out like T.E. Lawrence.

  5. Lunchin' says:

    Nice bike. Now it’s extra-streetfightered.

  6. Content Lover says:

    Roadkill at its finest. Duran Deeran! What are we going to do with you?

  7. hippie says:

    dude that deer still got good meat on it

  8. JM says:

    riding a motorcycle is so fucking stupid. doesn’t even look that cool unlike other pointless activities such as smoking cigarettes and railing lines.

  9. angelo says:

    your friend is much more cooler than you gavin

  10. As a fellow motorcyclist, I always say ATGATT – All the gear, all the time. Armored motorcycle gear can be had for reasonable prices. But it’s got to be armored! Yeah, that includes the pants. A little research will go a long way in order to find bargains. (Motorcyclegear dot com is great)

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