Being a detective has got to be an insanely fun job. You get to carry a gun, put bad guys away for doing stupid shit, and you get all the crazy details of murder mysteries before anyone else. The only problem would be continuing to give a shit about your job.
It sucks enough as it is showing up to work every day and pretending to give a shit about what you’re doing at a normal job. Can you imagine how hard it must be for detectives? I’m sure it’s fun as fuck and interesting as shit at first but after a while it probably loses its mystique.
Those guys have to put up with so much bullshit. It’s not just the usual annoying crap cops have to deal with on a regular basis, detectives are on a pretty rigid time constraint. Apparently, their chances of solving a case is cut in half if they don’t make a break in it within the first 48 hours. That’s insane. When I show up to work I like to say What’s Up to everyone first, maybe grab a coffee, go out for cigarette, then I get down to business. These guys have to get right to work and actually get something done, too. Or else they only have a fifty percent chance of finishing the job. That would drive me insane. Not just the getting right to work thing, that sort of makes sense when you’re dealing with murderers, but how unlikely you are to finish the job if you don’t get anything accomplished right away.
It’s pretty hard keeping people on track at work some times. Most of the people I work with, including myself, will say “dude, fuck it. We’ll do it tomorrow” whenever it looks like a task is going to be especially difficult or take too long. If we knew we only had a fifty percent chance of getting the job done after a certain amount of time, we’d flip a coin to decide whether or not we were going to do it in the first place. Especially if we had to deal with all the assholes detectives deal with when they’re trying to get their shit done.
Everyone has to put up with assholes at their job, no matter what they do. If they didn’t have to deal with some type of shit head annoying the living piss out of them then it wouldn’t be work. They’d basically be getting paid for doing some stupid hobby of theirs and then they’d be living the dream. Detectives have to put up with a special type of shit head, though. It’s not just some annoying cunt in the office telling them to their job a different way or some inept retard who’s work they always end up doing. Although I’m sure that happens too. These guys are constantly working with dickheads who are purposely trying to make their jobs impossible to accomplish.
Almost every single person they bring in for questioning is a possible suspect and lying through their teeth. That’s like being at a new job and getting trained by three different people who are all telling you to do the same thing differently. I wouldn’t be surprised if detectives don’t even listen to the people they bring in for questioning and just focus on who looks the most nervous. That would only be if they didn’t have any hard evidence in the first place and were struggling for a lead. It’s not just the pieces of shit they’re trying to put away, though. Detectives have to deal with all the sad little fags begging them for answers, too.
Doing a good job can be a serious pain in the ass when you have someone breathing down your neck the whole time. It’s hard enough as it is trying to check Instagram or twitter when you’re on the clock and have an overzealous boss giving suggestions and asking questions. Can you imagine what it would be like if that person was sobbing and showing you pictures of their dead child on top of all that? That shit must be so depressing. I’d have a hard time not hanging myself after telling a mother “Look. I’m sorry but we flipped a coin and there’s just no chance of us solving who murdered your son.”
Cops are already underappreciated enough in this country but at least they get some attention and recognition. Detectives are practically invisible, except for the fake ones in movies and TV shows. I think it’s about time we start giving them a bit more credit for the job they do, no matter what the quality is.