Posted by
• 05.04.12 10:54 am

I wrote an article about May Day but it was way too long so parts I like had to be cut.

It’s called “Crossing Bridges on May Day” and it’s about my May Day experience which included: Going to an OWS rally, sending out charity shirts for Breitbart’s family, defending OWS on Fox News, and doing a comedy benefit called “99 Comedians for the 99 percent.”

The gist of the piece is that these kids are wrong about most stuff but “at least they’re fucking trying.”

Here are 5 things that had to be cut.



1. Signs read “Take a Day off From Capitalism” and “Transparency + Accountability = Prevent Slavery.” They slapped stickers up and graffiti’d their tag along the railings. I see both as a form of advertising, only, where corporations want to sell you a product, these ads advertise little more than “me.” It’s worth noting that these anti-advertising vandals often end up with mainstream gigs in advertising. They took videos with flip cams, took photos with their iPhones and unselfconsciously used their iPads. I saw a guy whose jeans didn’t fit carrying a sign that said “More Labels on Products.” I thought we were doing pretty good for labels on things. Ever seen a tube of caulk? They can barely fit their logo on it.



2. I eventually got to my office around two in the afternoon where I met a punky 19-year-old intern from Staten Island who is helping me send out these Andrew Breitbart “SO?” shirts we are selling for charity. She has no idea who he is but likes to keep busy and in a family of four brothers and sisters, she will soon be the only one with a college degree.  I like the OWS kids but I like this kid way more. She has the gusto of the punks but where they bask in entitlement, she puts her nose to the grindstone.



3. The irony of all the antagonism on FOX was it’s what both the OWS and Breitbart ultimately want, people to step out of their comfort zone. The further irony was I had to leave early to go to an OWS benefit called “99 Comedians for the 99%.”  The show was at UCB in the East Village, a comedy venue that is a stunning example of supply and demand. We all see alumni such as Aziz Ansari go from small shows there to big movie deals so UCB doesn’t need to pay their comedians. Their attitude is, we don’t charge you for using our venue and you don’t charge us for providing the talent. They often do several shows a night and herd out the first group like cattle so another 200 ticket holders can come in. In this case, the crowd was treated to 99 comedians doing one-minute sets for the OWS legal defense fund. This massive supply was already outdoing the demand and some people left early because they were full.



4. I defended OWS in general however and said we’re all ignoring the fact that terrorism works. As Buchanan points out, terrorism has been an effective tool for everyone from Nelson Mandela to the IRA. In my homeland of Canada we still cower to demands of the French and it all goes back to bombings the FLQ did forty years ago. Nobody’s saying blowing up bridges is a good thing but as Chris Rock says, “I’m not saying he should have killer her… but I understand.”



5. If you’re not an anarchist when you’re young, you have no heart. If you’re not a libertarian when you’re old, you have no brain.




  1. aesk47 says:

    “In my homeland of Canada we still cower to demands of the French and it all goes back to bombings the FLQ did forty years ago.” You’ve got to be kidding me, tabarnack! 99% of the ROC have no fucking clue the FLQ even existed, you say some pretty dumb shit sometimes.

  2. Penny Rimbjob says:

    Aesk47 is right- the federal government of Canada “cowers” and makes policy concessions because it’s scared of another referendum on sovereignty for Quebec etc.. Nobody up in Canuckistan is thinking that terror tactics will be used again; if they suggest that they are, it’s just base shit disturbing. On another note, thinking about how the 80’s ANC would be framed and dealt with by the U.S. were its struggle happening in a post-911 world is a bit of a conceptual stretch, but it’s an interesting thought nonetheless. Even not-so-enlightened adults like me know that terrorism is a way slipperier term than your career enablers at Fox will be willing to acknowledge for a long time. But nice try.(Seriously).

  3. tommy gun says:

    i took my 14 year old daughter to the first day of OWS (9-17-11). she’s not political and i am not leftist but ever since then we often talk about the role of the federal reserve, the banking system, and other subjects her peers probably never consider. and she asks questions now. good questions like “why does obama hire so many people from wall street?” – “why are going to invade Iran – can they really harm us?”. hell she sat through multiple ron paul videos with me. now she makes her own t-shirts (old school metal album covers) and sells them. not saying it was ALL inspired by ows, but i think the idea that you can go out in the world and DO THINGS rather than passively take in media that you don’t participate in sank in with her.

    point is, ows is super easy to mock, but it exists in reality while too many people, both my generation and younger, basically exist soley on facebook etc.

  4. RED says:

    The thing is, before the FLQ the French were ignored. You had to speak English in every place of business in Montreal. Even if two French people wanted to discuss something. If it was in public, even at a small retail store, it had to be in English. The FLQ shut the entire country down. It was a State of Emergency coast to coast. After that we saw grants for anyone with a last name that had an accent in it. They called themselves “the niggers of Canada” and whenever they complained, English Canada threw money at them. Now, that may have evolved into something about sovereignty but the point is, terrorism put French Canada on the map, forever.

  5. Joe Queer says:

    You don’t what capitalism means. That’s clear as day. That you would equate capitalism with a free market is bafflingly idiotic.

  6. Jones says:

    99 Comedians and Gavin ain’t one

  7. Penny Rimbjob says:

    @RED ^ This is probably not the forum to get into this, but the quiet revolution (with an emphasis on quiet) would have happened- hell it was happening- without the FLQ’s terrorism. Rene Levesque and the PQ had already acquired significant political momentum by 1970. Although the month or two of mailbox bombings, kidnapped diplomats, soldiers in the streets and all that made for great news copy and lots of spooked TV viewers around the country, the fact that Quebecois are no longer second-class citizens is due to massive, peaceful, democratic political pressure sustained over many, many years. Note that I’m not saying this to contradict Gavin’s point that terror tactics can be politically effective (that is, in some cases at least), but the FLQ were not at all essential to the new respect claimed by Quebecois in the 60’s-70’s.

  8. the man says:

    at least people are taking action. the reason may not be understood, but it is a conscious effort. the power players want you staring at your dong or your friends dong. it is all about $.

    “Gold Money” skull front

  9. RED says:

    “That you would equate capitalism with a free market is bafflingly idiotic.”

    Wow. That’s a first.

  10. cristibradnox says:

    5. If you’re not an anarchist when you’re young, you have no heart. If you’re not a libertarian when you’re old, you have no brain.

    This quote (or the better one that people keep adapting for their own ideas) killed the humor of Dennis Miller and is now killing the humor of Gavin. It only sounds cool, it is not, however, true.

  11. lester says:

    “Terrorism is the war of the poor, war is the terrorism of the rich” I don’t know who said that but I heard it from Pat in “Where the Right went Wrong”.

  12. miss Universe says:

    To number 5, I am so fucking sick of hearing that. It’s a trite platitude always uttered by old men who seem to be saying it to me to make themselves feel better; I’m totally down for discourse across the political spectrum and when these guys say that to me it’s sort of a conversation killer and a lame, patronizing cop-out because it seems they don’t actually want to talk to someone who has a different perspective than they do. When I hear that pathetic old chestnut I now translate it in my mind as, “I’m an ugly fat woman who can’t get laid even when I offer guys money to do me.”

  13. miss Universe says:

    I censor my own name every time I post. That’s because I don’t want people to search my name and discover how ugly I am. But that doesn’t stop me from hiding behind this name and accusing others of “censorship,” because it makes me feel righteous, even if anonymously so. Miss Universe? I’m the ugliest bitch on the block! You see, the commenters are the only ones allowed to hide our identities and talk shit, then scream “censorship” when someone turns the tables. That’s what equality’s all about!

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