I wrote an article about May Day but it was way too long so parts I like had to be cut.
It’s called “Crossing Bridges on May Day” and it’s about my May Day experience which included: Going to an OWS rally, sending out charity shirts for Breitbart’s family, defending OWS on Fox News, and doing a comedy benefit called “99 Comedians for the 99 percent.”
The gist of the piece is that these kids are wrong about most stuff but “at least they’re fucking trying.”
Here are 5 things that had to be cut.
CAPITALISM WAS ALL OVER THIS ANTI-CAPITALISM PROTEST
1. Signs read “Take a Day off From Capitalism” and “Transparency + Accountability = Prevent Slavery.” They slapped stickers up and graffiti’d their tag along the railings. I see both as a form of advertising, only, where corporations want to sell you a product, these ads advertise little more than “me.” It’s worth noting that these anti-advertising vandals often end up with mainstream gigs in advertising. They took videos with flip cams, took photos with their iPhones and unselfconsciously used their iPads. I saw a guy whose jeans didn’t fit carrying a sign that said “More Labels on Products.” I thought we were doing pretty good for labels on things. Ever seen a tube of caulk? They can barely fit their logo on it.
THERE ARE STILL KIDS TODAY WHO KNOW WHAT HARD WORK IS
2. I eventually got to my office around two in the afternoon where I met a punky 19-year-old intern from Staten Island who is helping me send out these Andrew Breitbart “SO?” shirts we are selling for charity. She has no idea who he is but likes to keep busy and in a family of four brothers and sisters, she will soon be the only one with a college degree. I like the OWS kids but I like this kid way more. She has the gusto of the punks but where they bask in entitlement, she puts her nose to the grindstone.
NOBODY LOVES THE FREE MARKET MORE THAN UCB
3. The irony of all the antagonism on FOX was it’s what both the OWS and Breitbart ultimately want, people to step out of their comfort zone. The further irony was I had to leave early to go to an OWS benefit called “99 Comedians for the 99%.” The show was at UCB in the East Village, a comedy venue that is a stunning example of supply and demand. We all see alumni such as Aziz Ansari go from small shows there to big movie deals so UCB doesn’t need to pay their comedians. Their attitude is, we don’t charge you for using our venue and you don’t charge us for providing the talent. They often do several shows a night and herd out the first group like cattle so another 200 ticket holders can come in. In this case, the crowd was treated to 99 comedians doing one-minute sets for the OWS legal defense fund. This massive supply was already outdoing the demand and some people left early because they were full.
PAT BUCHANAN GETS OWS
4. I defended OWS in general however and said we’re all ignoring the fact that terrorism works. As Buchanan points out, terrorism has been an effective tool for everyone from Nelson Mandela to the IRA. In my homeland of Canada we still cower to demands of the French and it all goes back to bombings the FLQ did forty years ago. Nobody’s saying blowing up bridges is a good thing but as Chris Rock says, “I’m not saying he should have killer her… but I understand.”
ANGRY YOUNG PEOPLE MAKE ENLIGHTENED ADULTS
5. If you’re not an anarchist when you’re young, you have no heart. If you’re not a libertarian when you’re old, you have no brain.