Posted by
John Pittsley
• 09.28.17 10:50 pm

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Yesterday we lost one of the most influential feminist warriors to ever live. Say what you will about Eleanor Roosevelt, Maya Angelou, or that fucking bitch Frida Kahlo. Hugh Hefner is the one who really put his neck on the line to improve the lives of women the world over. Some hypocritical cunts would beg to differ but they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.

When the Hef started his little enterprise out, women didn’t have the type of sexual freedom they do now. Forget about posting sexy selfies on Instagram, chicks used to have a hard time getting birth control or showing the proper amount of skin in public without being labeled a slut. That didn’t change because of a bunch of mouth-breathing feminist soldiers, who refused to shave. If anything, those broads set women back and almost fucked up everything Hugh Hefner was trying to do for them.

A bunch of dolts have it in their heads that Hefner was a chauvinist pig, who took advantage of countless women for his own gain. When in reality, he was an intellectual sissy using the libertarian model to get women the amount of respect they deserve.

Just look at any old issue of Playboy. It’s not a disgusting jerk-rag, like that heap of garbage Hustler that Larry Flynt put out. Now that’s a dude feminazis could have a field day with. All that guy has really ever cared about is the 1st Amendment and helping other dudes get off, to the point where it’s paralyzingly gay. Hefner and his publication, on the other hand, were more dedicated to educating the average male.

Playboy was filled with actual articles on all sorts of shit. From things like how to tie a bowtie to how to make a fancy cocktail, you would only order in a bar if you were trying to piss the bartender off. Most importantly though, it taught men everywhere how awesome it was when hot chicks with big tits got naked. This didn’t just help guys become more comfortable with supporting women in showing what they got. It helped them become more comfortable in their own skin too, almost to a fault.

Back when Hefner started Playboy, he was wearing a suit in almost every single picture taken of him. Somewhere along the line that all changed, though. He ended up slipping into a pair of silk pajamas and never looked back. Whether that was due to the constant pajama parties he would throw and sheer laziness. Or, a way of dealing with some bizarre, rare, undisclosed disease caused by drowning in pussy for so many years. One thing is almost for certain, it had an impact on how American men felt about how they presented themselves in public.

Now, sweatpants have become an acceptable option for men’s pants. Dudes don’t just run to the car and help their wives or girlfriends with the groceries, anymore. They’ll put those things on and go meet their significant other out in public, where others can see them. Choices in shoes have changed, too. Sneakers aren’t just OK for a grown man, with children, to wear around town. Fucking CROCS are being worn by countless assholes on the regular and they’re continuing to get laid, mind you. This, if anything, is something Hugh Hefner deserves to get shit from all women for.

Hugh Hefner wasn’t a piece of shit, who took advantage of women. He was a guy who helped women out and got way too much pussy, causing him to become a sensitive little snowflake. Feminists can take pleasure in knowing the female body has that much power or, they can just pay their respects to a true feminist warrior.

-JOHN PITTSLEY


Comments
  1. Playa Boy says:

    Playboy fans fantasize about what they would do with those hot women. You know, if they ever got to the point where they put down the skin mags, left the house and actually managed to meet a woman.

  2. Terminal Asshole says:

    Meh, gimme that fat Kike Al Goldstein over Hefner any day of the week.

  3. Arie says:

    You alright, John.

  4. frank says:

    This guy who worked for him indicates he was in fact a piece of shit: http://nypost.com/2017/09/30/hefners-former-valet-reflects-on-pig-nights-with-hookers-and-hef/


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