Posted by
Donna Deliva
• 01.19.08 10:00 am

EAT ME

WAR ON TERROR = HIGHER GAS PRICES
Yellowstone National Park
was totally deserted this year. Even in peak season you could maim and rape someone in the middle of the day and it wouldn’t make a sound because nobody would be there to hear it.

EAT ME


I CALL BULLSHIT #37

WAR ON TERROR = HIGHER GAS PRICES

Yellowstone National Park was totally deserted this year. Even in peak season you could maim and rape someone in the middle of the day and it wouldn’t make a sound because nobody would be there to hear it. The same goes for all national parks in America. People aren’t going to them because people don’t like to drive because driving’s too expensive because of the price of gas. True.

However, that doesn’t mean the price of gas is higher. Sure newspapers scream “Gas Prices go Through the Roof!” but they do that because, as we said in “Wanna Political Party,” it bleeds and what bleeds leads. If they were to factor in inflation they would discover the price of gas is actually pretty reasonable and has been GOING DOWN recently.

So why are people driving less? Because they’re driving more and filling their tank more often. One generation ago families had one car and mom wouldn’t go shopping until dad came home from work. When she did go get groceries she was going to the IGA at the bottom of Stinson Avenue not the mini mall 12 miles down Industrial Highway #16. Suburban sprawl means everywhere is far away so to complain about the price of gas and blame it on oil barrels is like a junkie with a $300 a day habit complaining about the price of heroin.

Eventually, the invisible hand of capitalism will make living in the suburbs cost-prohibitive and everyone will either live way out in the country where they can farm their own land or move back into the city where owning a car is like a straight guy owning a strap-on.

I call bullshit on record high gas prices.


Comments
  1. christian says:

    “Eventually, the invisible hand of capitalism will make living in the suburbs cost-prohibitive and everyone will either live way out in the country where they can farm their own land or move back into the city where owning a car is like a straight guy owning a strap-on.”

    Glad you’ve got that figured out! And here I was wondering how public regulation, infrastructure investment, research and so on might make the transition less history-makingly painful, chaotic, and immiserating… the invisible hand will just fix things and then we’ll all be jamming in cool, laid-back farm, like in that Canned Heat song. Or we’ll be grups.

    Good thing energy isn’t used for anything except driving richworld people around, otherwise there might be some holes in that thesis.

    Remember Gavin, only two defining forces have offered to give their life for you, Jesus, and the American soldier!

  2. raped with an imaginary whistle says:

    this is still relevant

  3. [...] on a TV bigger than your window. Even the complaints about gas prices are based on a culture that uses way too much gas in the first place. It’s easy being poor. You get a roommate through Craigslist. You buy a [...]


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