Posted by
• 04.28.16 04:16 pm

It’s hard to get toddlers to sit and eat their dinner. So hard, in fact, I propose giving up. 

Fuck it. They’ll sit down and eat when they’re ready to.

  1. TWalsh2 says:

    New borns are a pain in the ass, toddlers are a pain in the ass, kids in the middle stages of puberty are a pain in the ass, and teenagers are a pain in the ass. All tolled, when raising kids, you get about 5-8 years of them not being a pain in the ass from birth to 18 years of age. I considered selling mine but the market for average white kids is severely depressed at present. I think it’s the fucking Jews, Obama, the conservative elite, liberal media, and SJWs all conspiring against me.

  2. Alec Leamas says:

    Have you considered bringing a she-wolf into your home to look after the little tyke? Worked for Romulus.

  3. Dr. Spock says:

    The little monster is 80%-Satan 10%-Mommy 10%-Gavin and 100%-Street Carnage!
    Get creative with the food. They don’t like broccoli, they’ll love broccoli and melted cheddar cheese.
    They don’t like liver (I know, no one eats poor people food anymore), they’ll love liver smothered in grilled onions mixed in mash potatoes with gravy.
    I accepted every challenge as an opportunity to out smart the little self-centered Ptolemaics and bring them into their Copernican planetary orbits around the Life giving Nuclear family furnace called Mom & Dad.
    What works with one rebel doesn’t necessarily work with the other anarchist.
    Good news is ironically those are the cherished memories to come.
    P.S…you may get revenge by getting senile and incontinent in your 2nd childhood.

  4. frank says:

    Little kids are metabolically raging furnaces and they need to eat all the time to keep the fire going. It doesn’t make sense to subject them to strict adult meal times. They also need large amounts of sugar. Human breast milk is loaded with sugar relative to other mammals. You hear all the time now about yuppies subjecting their little kids to retarded nutritional beliefs. Hey you dumb cunt, fuck off with your vegan/paleo idiocy. That kid needs as much sugary fruit juice as he wants and plenty of meat and liver. He doesn’t need a salad.

  5. just a cunt hair away says:

    have you thought about being the adult and spanking them until they just sit and eat?

  6. Jeffery Dahmer says:

    Cannibals consider the little dumplings to be veal. They are so uncontaminated when young, that their shit comes out the color of the food. When I prepare Blue Crabs I feed them a diet of corn and coconut meat with distilled water for appx. 2 weeks till they shit & piss clear liquid. Yummy. Same principal with junior.

  7. John Thomas says:

    No desert!

  8. Jeffery Dahmer says:

    In my house you can’t have your pudding if you don’t eat your meat.
    Regretfully if I could do it all over again I’d have skipped the brothers and eaten their fat mud sharks instead.

  9. Ghetto Defendant says:

    Sorry man, but you sired him, it’s your job to socialize him. That’s the way of the world!

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