I’ve always known timing was the essence to success, so when I found that killer, insightful, condensed blog post about a nation’s history in the wake of a few hundred thousand of them dying in an earthquake I thought, “YES! Perfect timing.”
I’ve always known timing was the essence to success, so when I found that killer, insightful, condensed blog post about a nation’s history in the wake of a few hundred thousand of them dying in an earthquake I thought, “YES! Perfect timing.” Thanks to this incredibly crafted Street Carnage think-piece, serious minds have started a worthy debate about … something.
I know if I was on the shit end of God’s stick I’d want to read something like “Haitin’ on Haiti.” I’m not saying they deserved it either, but I can only hope an act of God that has wiped out hundreds of thousands of you will finally get you to think about Jim’s points. Come on people. And please, do not think I am racist or a liberal. My best friends are white, even my mom is, so I can’t wiggle out of this ’cause my tribal instincts have too many forks in the road.
My point is this: I really hope another piece-of-shit country gets tough love soon. I do not care what color they are, I just want there to be an opportunity to place another well-timed assault on some stuff and things and how much they suck while they lay bleeding to death under rubble.
Heck, I can barely tell the difference between pre-earthquake Haiti and post earthquake Haiti myself. Why Haiti is so fucked isn’t really the point here — rather it’s just a perfect opportunity to paint them all as a seething mass of “cracker killers” or “honky haters.” Those are both pretty catchy Goadian Knots. Anyway, I’m hoping we can franchise this treatment and film it. Sneak in with some news teams pretending to give a shit and use this GOLDEN opportunity to hammer home important references to genocide, Danny Glover, Liberia, and killing crackers.
Just prop my leg up on a piece of concrete rubble, just above the half-crushed head of a three year-old, and read the little idiot the game changing “Haitin’ on Haiti.” Obviously most Haitians are content or else they would have split long ago but maybe I’ll even find some Haitians who will embrace the lesson. If they have any sense they’ll thank me for bringing it to their attention and once they dig themselves out, they’ll hopefully frame the blog entry as their new constitution — just like when Captain Kirk goes and gives those weird aliens a piece of “the truth hurts” on Star Trek.
Ohhhhh shittttt! I was in an earthquake in San Francisco and golly if it wasn’t one of the most frightening and surreal experiences of my life. A lot of injured and crying people etc., etc., but nowhere near this death toll. I wish I had realized then that I was in the midst of a killer opportunity to dish out some tough love about something San Franciscan.
Well, like I said, hopefully there will be another catastrophic opportunity to punch up soon. Actually, Haiti itself will probably erupt into civil war and, with my fake news crews already embedded, that will surely be a win-win for dogmatic timing! So, on behalf of people of all colors and nations around the world, who may be now or in the future lying under rubble, I’d like to pass this along: “Thanks for the timing, Jim!”
P.S. For anyone retarded enough to think I really think this, sorry to disappoint you. I do not. I think choosing a moment at which people are crushed beneath rubble to make a point about hypocrisy, I guess … sort of … plus some race stuff for good measure and a Danny Glover movie(?) is poorly timed and confusing. Not a huge leap there.
I figure if I had a kid trapped in that fucking mess I would not be excited to read “Haitin’ on Haiti.” If you didn’t get that from my piece for some ridiculous reason, I hope you do get it now. I feel retarded writing this.