Posted by
• 04.28.09 10:08 am

My training has finally got to the point where I can take anyone in the entire world. Therefore, I challenge you world, to a fight.

My training has finally got to the point where I can take anyone in the entire world. Therefore, I challenge you world, to a fight. Now, this doesn’t mean you can pop me in the face when I’m taking my kids for a walk. Nor does it mean I will meet you down an alleyway at 4 in the morning. What it means is, I will meet you in the ring of your choice and fight you for at least 10 rounds with a certified ref present so we don’t die. I don’t care how many wins you’ve had or what your weight class is or any of that shit. I don’t even care if you are a professional fighter. I will fight anyone in America and I’ll fly down to the city of your choice on my own dime. Please send brief submissions to the email address listed in “contact” on the homepage (don’t know how to list it without being spammed). Pics would be nice but again, I don’t care.

  1. Vane$$a says:

    I’ll pass this on to Kelly Pavlik.

  2. mg says:

    It’s not even funny. YOU GONNA DIE.

  3. Sgt. Slaughter says:


  4. Sgt. Slaughter says:

    andy kaufman already did this.

  5. maurice del taco says:

    you should fight tarver

  6. SHITCOCK says:

    I assume this is about Rap Battling because Gavin’s physique is matched only by the Pillsbury dough boy.

  7. Amazing says:

    This is by far the greatest thing I have seen on this website.

  8. GArbageTits says:

    I bet you wouldn’t fight a really strong mongoloid.

  9. GArbageTits says:

    famous last words

  10. tommy gun says:

    hahahahaha – awesome – really hope this is for real.

  11. french guy says:

    oh yes please, fight a retard, please?

  12. Go Gavin! says:

    Good luck. So is this why you made those posts about being killed though?

  13. lol@u says:

    how about fighting two guys at once? then you could fight…


  14. hot dogs in nigger mouths says:

    K I M B O

  15. Street Boning says:


  16. Kennedy says:


  17. marshall says:

    my girlfriend and i just spent an hour watching the hilarious videos of you and your adorable kids. don’t do this.

  18. Kennedy says:

    I will consider it with three 5 minute rounds with grappling included. What do either of us get if we win?

  19. srsly says:

    why don’t you go after that guy from quebec:george st,pierre; he’s from your ole stomping grounds, Reprezent!

  20. Dave Meltzer says:

    This is actually, like a really stupid idea.

    ps-Kimbo sucks! One pitter patter punch on the nose by a guy that doesn’t even do stand-up fighting, and he went down hard. Thus killing Elite XC in the process.

  21. Dinkle says:

    Also, get your essays in to gavin quick cuz this site is shutting down.

  22. too long says:

    ask harmony korine if this is a good idea. he already did it.

  23. Arv says:

    Fuck. I guess I should start looking for another job.

  24. Wilma Flinstone says:

    Oh yeah, Harmony Korine and Andy Kaufman were the ones who originally came up with FIGHTING?! When does your calendar start, people? 1960? Pretty sure Cro-Magnons were big on the fisticuffs, and before them the even more basic humanoids, Cro-Gavins.

  25. Ear Nibbles says:

    I knew the days were numbered for SC. Guess I’ll have to hit AP again for more lame issues of Vice. Lame.

  26. seb says:

    How about Pinky vs Gavin in the ring for the right to rule SC?

  27. Cap'n Glitterfuzz says:

    Weren’t you smacked around by an East Bay Rat?

  28. bob "broken high heel, drunk bitches" barker says:

    nigga please, you mean breakdance fighting.

    now if i were you i would eat some more of that awesome fried dough your wifes peoples make and continue work on your windmills my nigga.

    stop hatin’ and lets get this paper my nigg.

  29. idk says:

    this is a good idea

  30. Vane$$a says:

    Streetcarnage is shutting down? What in the fuck am I going to do with like 20% of my day if this ship sinks? Damn.

  31. homeless. says:

    hahaha. i burst out laughing when i read this, you must have had a real good day at the gym!

  32. vegan jules says:

    I’ll fight you. You’ve gotta fly to London though. Better yet, fly me to New York. And I gotta see if my wrist isn’t currently a bit fractured. If I win, you have to commission me to refute Michael Pollan’s shitty free-range farm article. You also have to use your connections to get my screenplay made, and you’ll have to kneel dropping face and both hands to the ground, professing worship and superiority to some shitty zine I shit out with InDesign.

  33. Bryan Alvarez says:

    ^^wWasn’t this gimmik dead a few months ago. Vegan Jules? Seriously? That shit is played.

  34. Ferdie Pacheco says:

    Watching a shitty boxing match is like reading the comments on this blog so Gavin, how about you just rent a hall this Saturday, get the Pacquiao v. Hatton fight on PPV kick down for a bunch of fish and chips and Guinness and we forget this silly boast. Your family will thank you.

  35. maurice del taco says:

    uh is that really dave meltzer

  36. Frank DeFalco says:

    How about Gavin Vs. The Hipster Grifter?

  37. Vane$$a says:

    Gavin vs. Jim Goad

  38. e. pubert unum says:

    yeah dude go for it! I applaud you for putting your money where your mouth is, just please post video!

  39. fuck minnesota says:

    ill kill you, then fuck you so i can kill you some more.


    here everyday. dont play.

  40. grover creamland says:

    fight a swarm of bees

  41. cuntvomit says:

    Pussy can only fight in a ring with rules.

  42. maxwel says:

    You should fight the swine flu

  43. Chester Cheeto's fuzzy orange balls says:

    Gavin v. Barack Obama. Each will be armed with a bottle of Wild Turkey, and the loser would need to stay out of the other man’s country for 7 years. It will be referreed by Chairman Kaga from “Iron Chef”. Barack would be able to use his one free presidential murder in the ring.

  44. French Ass Raper says:

    Ill take you and Beckles at the same time.

  45. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa says:

    dude from oxbow

  46. wee says:

    Fight Val, please…for that comment she made about being “polyamorous” as well as for being boring. Maybe you can knock some brains into her.

  47. Jetpack says:

    Think straight, man. Never fight outside your weight class.

  48. Vane$$a says:

    Gavin vs. Rip Taylor

  49. I will gladly fight you as soon as you can make it happen. Perhaps you missed it but last year I challenged anyone in the arts and entertainment world to a fight….you are the first to rise to the occasion.

    call me 650-714-4891


  50. assrape guy says:

    Oh man! Yes! Fight Eugene!

  51. Gavin,

    I just sent in an email with a challenge. Did you receive it? Or is this all bullshit??

  52. It seems that the headline to this piece should be changed to, I Will Fight One Person in The World of My Choosing. A friend and a major horse in the New York Tyrant stable, Atticus Lish (son of Gordon) accepted Gavin’s challenge but was too late or something. It seems Gavin just wants to fight one guy of his choosing. In all honesty, I would be scared to fight Atticus too. So who will you be fighting?

  53. anonymous says:

    You should fight Ben Weasel.

  54. trace says:

    Oh Gavin, you must fight the singer of Oxbow.

    East Coast v West Coast

  55. Suxs my Cox says:

    Oxbow vs. CoxBlow! You have to do it Gav.

  56. Hector says:

    There is no way in hell Gavin will fight Eugene.

    Didn’t Eugene write a Guide to Getting Beaten Up for Vice a ways back?

    But yeah, my money says Gavin never fights Eugene.

  57. sounds like you are going to have to come to austin again

  58. Wet Whitey White says:

    Not only did Mr. Eugene Robinson write an article on fighting for Vice ages ago he also wrote a great book called “FIGHT, Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Ass-Kicking but Were Afraid You’d Get Your Ass Kicked for Asking.”

    I think that if Gavin keeps his word it will be a brief meeting in the ring. Gavin’s heart will not be enough against Eugene’s years of experience. Good luck to both fighters.

  59. ZachMcDonald says:

    Don’t worry Gavs, no sucker punches.
    Next SXSW, 2010, here in Austin Texas, I’ll be waiting.
    But I’ll introduce myself first and even offer you, Gavs,
    the first punch.


  60. HOMO the unofficial says:

    gavin won’t fight eugene, eugene will destroy him and he knows it.

  61. ZLUR says:

    Am no fighter like but I will have a milky biscuit competition with yer Gav…loser eats the milky biscuit!

    Yer will have ter fly over to Liverpool tho but your a rich fucker so neh worries like!

    You have been challenged!

  62. Axel Foley III says:

    I don’t know, something about this might just leave me red in the face. I’m not sure I have the confidence to cover that up. Maybe some other time.

  63. muskawo says:

    I’ll see you impromptu sometime. Did QBrown never advise you to pipe down on the cocky shit? Fools rush in.

  64. Buford T. Justice says:

    Hey Eugene, I read your book and it was decent.

  65. too long says:

    ^^i thought it was a tad bit too long.

  66. delanoche says:

    Look up kid chocolate. I spoke to him. He’ll be contacting you soon. Medic’s on me.

  67. anonymous says:


  68. lowdirt says:

    Let us roll. I mean roll.

  69. Buzzy says:

    The people who say they will take this challenge are the ” mongaloids” and “retards”. I’m pretty sure that’s the point. You wan to fight someone, actually fist fight, that you disagree with? Idiots. Point for the succesfull comedian, and just another pathetic loss to the loathsome degenerates who take on anonymous challenges, via cyber space.

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