Posted by
John Pittsley
• 06.13.17 07:11 am

Screen Shot 2017-06-08 at 8.57.04 AM

Something needs to be done about the prison system in this country. We can’t be locking up thugs and criminals, unleashing them back on the public, and then putting them away again after they’ve had some fun. Only to go through the whole ordeal again. We need to come up with a solution to this gigantic cluster-fuck.

There’s already been plenty of useless crap that’s been employed to try to fix the repeat offender problem in this country but none of it has done shit. It doesn’t matter if there are work-release programs or how many fun little activities inmates can participate in, the goal of rehabilitation won’t be reached. The focus should instead be put on limiting the damage done by releasing these caged animals back out on the public, over and over again. One such way is not letting these psychopaths with zero life skills, besides taking advantage of other human beings, to build up their brute strength by lifting weights all day. Not allowing them to pump iron is not enough, though.

Letting professional criminals hang out behind bars all day with nothing better to do than viciously fuck each other in the shower and stab one another over toothbrushes isn’t all that great of a look. It may slowly dwindle the prison population and help deter some people from committing crimes but it wouldn’t really reflect all too great on our government. There needs to be some order inside our prisons, not just for the system’s reputation but for the sake of the criminals’ and our society’s future. Prisoners need to be kept busy and if it’s with something stupid and emasculating, all the better. That’s why our prisons shouldn’t allow weightlifting anymore and instead, force inmates to do yoga all day.

I know what plenty of you jerk-offs are gonna say, “hey, retard. Yoga isn’t a real workout and it sure as shit isn’t going to rehabilitate any of these brutes.” Uh, yeah. I know, that’s the point you fucking numbskulls. As the boss has pointed out before, yoga is one of the gayest exercises ever. It’s basically just stretching and the only people it’s good for are hot chicks who are already in shape. Forcing inmates to do that shit all day would hardly keep them in peek physical form to beat the living shit out of people and break into cars, though. Maybe it would help them stay limber enough to climb into windows and wrestle out of police chokeholds or handcuffs but they won’t be able to do nearly as much damage as before. It could turn a bunch of them into bigger wussies than those brutally gay showers do, too. Even if practicing yoga all day doesn’t have a lasting effect on the criminal mind and/or body, it would still expose them to its annoying universe.

It doesn’t matter if prisoners are able to earn their GEDs or learn a trade while serving their sentences, finding a job can be hard as hell with a criminal record. So, it’s only a matter of time before they start smashing in faces and breaking into businesses or homes again. But if inmates spent all their years in prison doing yoga, they’ll have a new target to set their eyes on when they turn back to their life of crime.

One of the worst things about yoga is the people who do it. More specifically, the dudes who do it. It doesn’t matter if a guy is in a yoga class because he’s trying to fuck a chick who’s in it or because he already is. Doing yoga while owning a cock is one of the lamest things possible. I think trekkies are even down to fag-bash bros who do yoga. Unfortunately, no one ever bothers to. People must see a guy with a man bun walking in tights and flip-flops as punishment enough for going to yoga classes but it’s punishing our eyeballs, too. If ex-cons entered the world of yoga, they’d be dolling out the beatings these nancy boys need and deserve. If not in order to fill their own pockets then out of vengeance for all those years of ridiculous workouts.

There is something seriously fucked about the correctional program in this country and finding a solution is probably too ambitious. Taking advantage of the situation might be the better way to go. Maybe it will cause convicts to become even bigger blood thirsty animals once they’ve been released but at least it will make their stays all the more brutal and possibly even do something about the yoga problem we’re dealing with.

-JOHN PITTSLEY


Comments
  1. Ahmed, The Goat Yogi says:

    Nude hot Goat yoga popular in Turkish prison. goat help prevent Turkish men Asshole getting too stretched by roving midnight express anal gang banger in prison. Goat = blow up doll but warmer. Goat nothing to do with yoga but Turkish government need excuse and cover for real purpose – they girlfriend. Turkish men rite of passage as young boy through goat vagina. donkey too. prison stress relief with goat spare many poor Asshole from total destruction. When rapist see friendly fast tail goat vagina swollen, he spare bunk mate bloody hemorrhoid. Wrecked rectum #1 medical problem in Turk prison. Goat is preventive medicine. It healthy for hemorrhoid and fun too. hot too. Yoga is gay. But so is prison. Goat save the day. Women for procreation. Goat for recreation.

  2. Steve's Jobs says:

    Ex cons need to create their own businesses and not waste their time begging for jobs. With all the spare time they spend behind bars, there’s no excuse for not developing business skills and a plan for release day. One way is become some kind of sub-contractor. For instance. They won’t hire YOU as a security guard. Ok. Then start your own firm with ex-cons who all pool their resources together. You hire a clean record minority gay female to be the fake front titular head of the business and bid for government contracts. Get bonded with an ex-con run bonding firm that’s financed by a drug cartel money laundering scheme. Ex-con cottage industries could exponentially grow into networks across the land spreading a spider web of dark business run by and for ex-cons and laundering drug cartel money into the economy in a legitimate way, while rehabilitating ex-cons who are then back to legal work – not crime. Drug cartels are also in a back door way making amends. Win win.
    ps….Ex-cons could also start Hot Nude Goat Yoga studio’s for rich Silicon Valley faggots who could be swayed by a public relations marketing campaign that appeals to their grandstanding virtue signaling ego’s. The goats will have no idea.

  3. Yoga Singularity says:

    Weed yoga, naked yoga, yoga with goats: Have we reached peak namaste?

    By Karen Heller
    March 31, 2017

    LOS ANGELES — A pungent fog blankets Goda Yoga in Culver City. It’s Friday night and the studio is packed, with overflow mats extending down the back hall to the bathroom.

    Votive candles and sitar music set the mood. But this class offers a whiff — actually plenty — of something extra: the unmistakable scent of marijuana.

    Participants vape, then stretch. It’s yoga with deep breathing.

    And, after several inhalations, a lot of coughing.

    Co-instructor Emily Meyers asks the 20 participants: “What are you most passionate about?”

    “Staying in touch with nature and making out with my dog,” is one reply.

    “I’m not quite sure. That’s why I moved to California.”

    “Uh, I forgot the question.”

    Such moments are common in Higher Self yoga, a monthly “ganja yoga” class that Goda owner Nathania Stambouli introduced in the fall: “We’re bringing together two great spiritual practices. Marijuana is a way of enhancing the experience.”

    Ah, yes, enhancing the experience. Of late, there’s been a fair amount of yoga-enhancing going on. It’s yoga with something extra on the side.

    Would you like beer with your yoga? There’s a class for that.

    Yoga in the buff? Manhattan’s Bold and Naked Yoga is precisely what it says it is.

    For yogis who prefer to bundle in down, there’s snowga — yoga with snowshoes.

    Some classes eschew the calm and quiet many practitioners seek. Y7, with locations in New York and Los Angeles, bills itself as “the original hip-hop yoga studio.”

    Wish to vocalize at multiple decibels above a soothing om? There’s yoga with karaoke and — YES! REALLY! — tantrum yoga, which encourages poses and primal screams.

    Trampoline yoga also exists, which must make balancing in Tree pose a challenge.

    And, because it had to happen, there’s a yoga class with goats.

    Related: The latest from Oregon: Yoga — with goats]

    Yoga now welcomes a menagerie of critters, in fact: yoga with horses, yoga with dogs (doga — yoga lends itself to a sun salutation series of puns), yoga with bunnies, even yoga with cats, which seems like an exercise doomed to failure.

    No Regrets Farm owner Lainey Morse offers yoga classes with goats in the calm outdoors of Oregon.
    Already rife with rival and sometimes competing schools, the ancient practice has become a tabula rasa, open to endless permutations and personal spins. It’s such a fixture in the popular culture that it has inevitably become ripe for parody, in fare such as “Yoga Hosers,” a Johnny Depp spoof in which a pair of teenage Californians use their yoga prowess to defeat villains.

    So we have to ask: Has yoga jumped the shark? (Or goat?)

    Depends on whom you ask.

    “Yoga has become the answer to everything,” laments John Philp in his documentary, “Yoga, Inc.,” which traces — and bemoans — yoga’s evolution from a spiritual practice to a global commercialized endeavor.

    But Andrea R. Jain, associate professor of religious studies at Indiana University and the author of “Selling Yoga: From Counterculture to Pop Culture,” points out that although yoga dates back thousands of years, “it has always been open to malleability.”

    The vast and unusual array of classes reflects a marketplace bursting with jewel-toned rubber mats. From 2012 to 2016, the number of Americans practicing yoga — three-fourths of them women — almost doubled to nearly 37 million, according to a major study, creating a $17 billion industry. The growth is partly attributable to the promotion of yoga and wellness and the pervasive practice of mindfulness.

    Related: When ‘mindful’ is a mayo, a diet, a mantra, does it actually mean anything?

    Or maybe it’s just that yoga’s super trendy.

    It would seem a challenge to make yoga expensive. It’s not exactly yachting. You don’t need specific togs, shoes, nor even a mat. But it has come to be viewed as a privileged practice, done in $98 Lululemon pants in Bali or Tulum, some exotic beach retreat far, far from home.

    “We’ve packaged yoga to make it look like it’s done only by young, thin white women,” says Lori Hunter, a University of Colorado sociology professor who teaches a course titled Yoga, Culture & Society. “If that’s not you, you feel that space is not for you.”

    Enter the goats and bunnies, the tantrums and marijuana, brought in to make yoga appear fun, less exclusive and sanctimonious, and to attract different people.

    Like men.

    “If adding cats and bunnies to yoga introduces more people to a positive physical and mental experience that leads them to pursue deeper study of yoga, then it’s all for the good,” says Andrew Tanner, chief ambassador for the nonprofit Yoga Alliance, which represents 76,000 registered yoga teachers and 5,000 yoga schools.

    The breakfast-cereal aisle of offerings, a little hip-hop with your plank pose, has not pleased everyone. In 2014, India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi, a dedicated yogi, launched a campaign to reclaim yoga as Indian and to strengthen its moorings to Hinduism, and he even appointed a yoga minister.

    Related: India’s new prime minister, Narendra Modi, aims to rebrand and promote yoga in India

    And that was before the yoga and goats business. So how’s that working out?

    Yoga has exploded in the United States, becoming a $17 billion industry with nearly 37 million practitioners — most of them women.
    Unsurprisingly, Higher Self regularly attracts lots of male students, some taking yoga for the first time. Almost half of tonight’s class is male, which is also diverse in age and race.

    “Maybe they’ve been toying with the idea of yoga in a safe space,” Stambouli says of the male contingent. “Socially, yoga’s a girl thing to do.”
    Or, she notes, “Maybe they’re fans of marijuana.” Maybe?

    The 90-minute class incorporates meditation, deep breathing and gentle beginner poses, rather than an aerobic regimen of sun salutations. It is supremely mellow.

    A good thing, because some poses are decidedly raggedy in their execution. Triangle poses melt into trapezoids. Bridge poses crumble.

    One student becomes too baked to attempt anything more rigorous than Savasana, the aptly named corpse pose. For much of the class, he lies on the mat doing the most rigorous yoga he can muster, which is almost nothing at all.

    Possibly, he is sleeping.

    One man struggles to distinguish right limb from left and tumbles repeatedly from downward-facing dog.
    Goda Yoga is a 15-year-old studio that Stambouli purchased last August. There are three other studios within a mile of her practice. “That’s nothing compared to Santa Monica, where there must be 20 in one mile,” she says. “It’s like Starbucks. There’s a yoga studio on every corner.”

    Goda “had an older client base. I’m trying to bring it up and distinguish it from other studios,” says Stambouli, who quit a career in marketing to join what she calls “the yoga industry.”

    In 2018, recreational marijuana will be legal in California, creating the nation’s largest market for its products.

    And activities incorporating those products. “The demand for yoga and weed is going to explode,” Stambouli says. For the time being, she says, “We’re going to let the buzz build.” She may add a second monthly class.

    She may need to.

    The man who kept plummeting downward doing downward-facing dog drifts out of a yoga class in a yoga studio, content and mellow, and asks, perfectly serious — well, in a stoned sort of way — “Do you offer other yoga classes here?”

    Seems that herbal additive is having the desired effect.

  4. Beastie Boy says:

    Bestiality brothels are ‘spreading through Germany’ warns campaigner as abusers turn to sex with animals as ‘lifestyle choice’

    By Matt Blake
    12:53 EDT 01 Jul 2013
    Animal welfare officer Madeleine Martin problem of ‘erotic zoos’ is growing
    She tells of farmer whose once friendly sheep began refusing human contact
    So when he put CCTV in his barn he watched men file in and abuse his herd
    Bestiality brothels are spreading through Germany faster than ever thanks to a law that makes animal porn illegal but sex with animals legal, a livestock protection officer has warned.

    Madeleine Martin told the Frankfurter Rundschau that current laws were not protecting animals from predatory zoophiles who are increasingly able to turn to bestiality as a ‘lifestyle choice’.

    She highlighted one case where a farmer in the Gross-Gerau region of southwest Germany, noticed his once friendly flock of sheep were beginning to shy away from human contact.

    Shock discovery: Ms Martin told of one case where a farmer rigged a CCTV camera in the rafters of his barn after finding his normally friendly sheep refusing human contact, to discover multiple men sneaking in in the dead of night to sexually abuse his beloved livestock
    So he rigged a CCTV camera in the rafters of his barn to discover multiple men sneaking in during the night to sexually abuse his beloved livestock.

    ‘There are now animal brothels in Germany,’ Martin told the paper, adding that people were playing down the issue by by describing it as a ‘lifestyle choice’.

    Armed with a host of similar case studies, Ms Martin is now calling for the government to categorically ban bestiality across the country.

    Defenceless: There are even ‘erotic zoos’ which people can visit to abuse animals ranging from llamas to goats
    Defenceless: There are even ‘erotic zoos’ which people can visit to abuse animals ranging from llamas to goats

    Last November German authorities said they were planning to reinstate an old law forbidding sex with animals after a sharp rise in incidents of bestiality along with websites promoting it.

    Parliament began debating changes to the national Animal Protection Code with the agricultural committee of the Bundestag pledging fines of up to £20,000 for a first offence.

    Bestiality dropped off the statute books as a crime in 1969 but in recent years the number of people believed to be participating in such acts has increased significantly.

    There are even ‘erotic zoos’ which people can visit to abuse animals ranging from llamas to goats.

    Hans-Michael Goldmann, chairman of the agriculture committee, said the government aimed to forbid using an animal ‘for individual sexual acts and to outlaw people ‘pimping’ creatures to others for sexual use.’

    German ‘zoophile’ group ZETA has announced it will mount a legal challenge should a ban on bestiality become law.

    ‘Mere concepts of morality have no business being law,’ said ZETA chairman Michael Kiok.

    When the 1969 law banning sex with animals was banned the Animal Protection Law was introduced, but it failed to include a specific ban on zoophilia.

    The terms bestiality and zoophilia are the formal names for having sex with animals for pleasure.

  5. Ground Control To My Big Dong says:

    Anyone else notice how pathetic Andrew Anglin and his army of trolls are? The midget and his minions? Spending all their time trolling sites like Street Carnage and defacing Ben Garrison cartoons. Wasting their best years playing video games. Pumping their 130 lb bodies full of protein shakes in hopes that it will magically turn them into the Übermensch. Complaining about the death of the white race while they remain childless and virginal. Spending their days staring at their Elliot Rodgers poster on their wall and reading his manifesto. Staring out their windows and watching the people who aren’t afraid to face real life. Gaining knowlege and experience from only books instead of a combination of actual life experience and education through books. Looking up to Anglin as a hero instead of looking down on him as a spoiled rich kid who lives on daddy’s money and has to pay Filipina (Filipino?) hookers to fuck him because nobody else will. Waiting and waiting for somebody else to fire the first shot in a “revolution” or “race war” that will never come to be. Posting the “dankest” Pepe memes all over the internet thinking it will make some kind of difference in the world. Sitting around all day blaming everyone and everything for their sad existence instead of looking in the mirror at themselves. Failing to see they have a lot in common with the sad lonely fat feminist spinsters who blame everyone and everything for their problems instead of looking at themselves in the mirror.

  6. Casual Observer says:

    ^Ground Control…
    Yes, OogaBooga. I notice and notice how much you and your Cock Muppets resemble Anglin the midget and his trolls. I think you are one and the same. The rest of your autobiography sounds about right in all its details – you would know. Now we know what you see when you look in the mirror.

  7. Ground Control To My Big Dong says:

    ^ The Old Self-Appointed Caretaker of Street Carnage is here again, folks. He’s always walking the halls with his flashlight. He’s kind of a Barney Fife type character. Non OogaBooga aka Casual Observer aka Siegfried the Pug aka Beastie Boy aka Troll Patrol aka ad infinitum. He sees everything but knows nothing. Could he also be Dick Lubin? Beardsley? Anglin?

  8. Pee Pee the Toad says:

    Looks like OogaBooga(s) is back in full drag. Some new names too. Wanna make society safe from just released prisoners. GPS their asses permanently. Make them employable as a condition of release with tax incentivised jobs waiting for them at the gate.
    Haha Yoga!

  9. Regular Guy says:

    Who the hell other than an unemployable registered sex predator offender has time, all the time, to write such weird shit. No, not “INMATES NEED YOGA”, but this little universe that ‘Ground Control’ describes and dwells in. The writing is the same – as claimed – as several other regular commentors including the head loon – Oogabooga. Street Carnage is Gavin and also the personal insane asylum of someone(s) with a lot of time on their hands. Oh yeah, Yoga is definitely gay.

  10. Bruno says:

    Not smart to mock imprisoned criminals. They eventually get out. You so brave. Hope you don’t ever get locked up and recognized. Your skinny ass won’t need yoga after the welcoming committee finishes your orientation. Women need yoga so they can get into all the convoluted positions that horney men require. Men need only maintain some hip flexor and lower back suppleness and even then the cow girl position takes care of any lame asses that can’t thrust. Faggots need yoga since they are chicks with dicks. See ya in prison Pittsley. I’ll be gentle.

  11. Siegfried the Pug says:

    🐕💨💩💩gaB💩💩ga

  12. Stinky says:

    Good boy Siegfried! Give that dog a bone. Hahahahaha!

  13. Ground Control To My Big Dong says:

    A Non OogaBooga, aka Stinky, aka Siegfried the Pug, aka Regular Guy, aka Pee Pee the Toad, aka Casual Observer, aka Troll Patrol, aka Beastie Boy, aka Dick Lubin, aka Daily Stormer troll, aka The Pride of Benicia, CA, aka ad infinitum. This childless eunich has been ruining the comments of Street Carnage day and night since Spring of 2016 but accuses others of having no life. Bring back Ray’s Famous Pizza!!!

  14. ??? says:

    ^A Paranoid Lunatic???

  15. !!! says:

    No just OogaBooga – A Regular Lunatic.

  16. Ground Control To My Big Dong says:

    ??? & !!!: Two more Non OogaBooga sockpuppets. Non OogaBooga, aka Stabby, aka Stinky, aka Casual Observer, aka Cool Guys, aka Siegfried the Pug, aka Beastie Boy, aka Dick Lubin, aka the Pride of Benicia, CA, aka Troll Patrol, aka Ray’s Original Pizza, aka Taeil Kim, aka The Self-Appointed Caretaker of Street Carnage, aka ad infinitum. It’s so obvious they’re the same person as their writing styles are so similar. This cannot be denied.

  17. Ground Control To My Big Dong says:

    Add Regular Guy as a Non OogaBooga sockpuppet too. So obvious.

  18. A Fake OogaBooga says:

    What about me “Ground Control To My Big schizophrenia.”

  19. A Surreal OogaBooga says:

    And don’t forget to add me to your fantasy list “Grounds Patrol To His Tin Foil Yarmulke.”

  20. Stabby says:

    Me to! Me to! It would be an honor to be “A Non OogaBooga.”
    Thanks in advance, OogaBooga, for adding me to your ENEMIES list.

  21. Grounds Patrol To His Tin Foil Yarmulke says:

    OogaBooga sees Non OogaBooga’s everywhere. Boo! It’s hilarious watching this melt down, almost like a live Facebook suicide. His favorite Cock muppet of late – Ground Control… – is barking mad chasing every commentor as if they’re the mailman. But like every dog he’s really only chasing his own tail. After all, unless you’re actually that poor sod OogaBooga, you’re by definition – A Non OogaBooga. We’re ALL Non OogaBooga’s. Except for OogaBooga.

  22. OogaBooga says:

    Wo boy! Ground Control, you’re outta control my cock Muppet. Sorry folks. This is what happens when a Cock Muppet goes AWOL. He’s taking his job hunting for Non-OogaBooga’s too seriously. He’s so spooked that he even snapped at me. Heel boy!!

  23. OogaBooga says:

    I’m honestly stunned at how deeply I got your goat, Fake Me. The lengths that you go to to vent your outrage against the real me! Creating all these fake handles to create an illusion that fools no one. After all this time. And all because I post links about Israel using American taxpayer money to fund Islamic terror. O, happy day! I am powerful. And I own you.

    https://www.wsj.com/articles/israel-gives-secret-aid-to-syrian-rebels-1497813430

  24. Ground Control To My Big Dong says:

    I tried as you instructed me boss to call them all Non OogaBooga sock puppets…….but no ones buying it. They know the TRUTH boss and are mocking you. It’s true boss. You ARE a No Life Loser and I’m a OogaBooga Cock Muppet.

  25. OogaBooga says:

    Fake Me, you’re the antifa of this comments section. Thanks for helping me draw attention to this great article, written by a true American patriot:

    http://www.unz.com/pgiraldi/israels-dirty-little-secret/

  26. OogaBooga says:

    Here’s an awesome excerpt, for those of you too lazy to click:

    ***Oliver Stone briefly addressed the issue of alleged Russian interference in the recent national election, observing that “Israel interfered in the U.S. election far more than Russia and nobody is investigating them.” A few days later, in an interview with Stephen Colbert on the Late Show, Stone returned to the theme, responding to an aggressive claim that Russia had interfered in the election by challenging Colbert with “Israel had far more involvement in the U.S. election than Russia. Why don’t you ask me about that?”

    Don’t look for the exchange with Colbert on YouTube. CBS deleted it from its broadcast and website, demonstrating once again that the “I” word cannot be disparaged on national television. Stone was, of course, referring to the fact that the Israel Lobby, most notably acting through its American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC), is undeniably a foreign lobby, no less so than anyone representing the presumed interests of Russia or China. It operates with complete impunity on Capitol Hill and also at state and local levels and no one dares to require it to register under the Foreign Agents Registration Act of 1938, which would permit scrutiny of its finances and also end its tax-exempt “educational” status. Nor does Congress or the media see fit to inquire into AIPAC’s empowerment of candidates based on their fidelity to Israel, not to mention the direct interference in the American electoral process which surfaced most visibly in its support of candidate Mitt Romney in 2012.***

  27. OogaBooga's Boyfriend says:

    ^@2am this morning
    OogaBooga’s Boyfriend— “Sweeeeet buns! It’s past 2 am. Pleeeeease come to bed. Are you still monitoring that obsession of yours, STREET CARNAGE?! What can be so important that you feverishly pound out replys to imaginary adversaries, tender lips?”
    OogaBooga— “Darling. I’m ~ almost ~ finished. You know I can’t let the Hasbara have the last word. What you call my obsession, I call my mission in life.”
    OogaBooga’s Boyfriend— “Oh dear, my poor boy has a matzo ball for a brain. Oh well, his sweet Ass and lips more than makes up for his time wasted chasing the Elders of Zion. I know it’s a sickness, but I’ll humour him and call it ‘his hobby.'”


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