Posted by
Benjamin Leo
• 07.21.10 12:00 pm


It’s a fucking miracle! I haven’t seen anything so incredible since the time GOD came down from heaven and fucked a woman to give her his magic baby!

Seen this yet?

It’s a fucking miracle! I haven’t seen anything so incredible since the time GOD came down from heaven and fucked a woman to give her his magic baby!

We’ve all considered how big Mary of Nazareth’s balls were — imagine telling your husband that it was GOD that got you pregnant — but here’s the thing: At least that was in the year 33 B.C. before we had pencils and a basic understanding of pea-pod genetics. Pro-rating those scientific advances to compare these two situations on even footing, I’d say that this black woman is even ballsier than Mary.

“YES Honey, of course I’ve been faithful — you must be part white. Now call the newspapers.”

Doesn’t she seem nervous in that video?

Either way, no one can say with a straight face that something like this has never happened before: Something exactly like this happened to my dad’s friend Anthony from Staten Island in the late ’70s. I don’t think anyone back then regarded it as a “miracle,” but it is how I first learned the n-word.

He was over at our house late at night — I was probably around 4 years old — and he was crying, drinking scotch with my dad and yelling, “The baby comes out … and it’s a fucking nigger!!”

Anthony drank and drank, and I had to go to bed. He was loud and scary even from my bedroom. I didn’t see him again after that: My dad stopped hanging out with him. (Pretty sure it was because of that outburst, not because his wife had fucked a black guy and had the baby.)

So here are my honest questions:

1) Is this real fucking life, where these newspapers don’t even mention the POSSIBILITY that the wife fucked a guy who looks like Johnny from The Karate Kid? Is that journalism? Not to even mention it?

Think of how many times they tell you she’s not an Albino: Wouldn’t you expect just one sentence that says, “Genetic testing has proven that beyond a shadow of a doubt, the black dad IS indeed the baby’s father.”

2) My wife says I’m nuts and that they address it when the husband states, “My wife is true to me. Even if she hadn’t been, the baby still wouldn’t look like that.”

My answers: a) it MIGHT; b) What about a paternity test? Why don’t they even MENTION it???

3) Why does his name have to be Ben?

4) Why do all these people in the comments say that this proves the existence of god? If it’s true that the little pink angel really is their kid, then if anything it supports evolution through genetic mutation / punctuated equilibrium.

Shit, it looks like the Black Israelites on 42nd Street were right: I guess everyone really did come from Africa!

Whatever, either way, this baby isn’t all that remarkable: It’s just freakin’ tint control. You wanna impress me, let’s see ya shit out an Asian.

-BENJAMIN LEO


Comments
  1. lady says:

    again?

  2. flickin'beans says:

    the half-blood prince

  3. Carl's Jr. says:

    Don’t need a paternity test, it’s obviously his kid. It’s the nose.

  4. Tracy Chapless says:

    What pisses me off about this little rant? Its not so much the racist overtone (ie if she’s a black female she has to have cheated on her husband, because white men are just soooo desireable) It’s more the anti-christian theme again and again and again.

    Yes we understand you don’t believe in christianity and the virgin birth. why does every rant of yours have to revolve around it. get over it.

  5. Vane$$a says:

    He’s gonna beat his wife’s ass inside-out once he finishes spending whatever money they make from this.

  6. Saint Lucifer says:

    What pisses me off about ^^^ THAT ^^^ little rant? The Christian overtones, we get it, you’re christian, you believe in silly myths… and you get all hurt when others don’t.

    666

  7. Masterblaster says:

    2 words: black albino

    mystery solved

  8. Zippy says:

    No mystery here. They bought the kid from some junked up 18 year old from the suburbs outside a convenience store.

  9. poopsee says:

    lmao the rant is racist because it suggests the wife cheated?? The husband is black but THE BITCHES BABY IS WHITE, the obvious first assumption is she cheated, fuck.

    Most likely it’s the work of satan though right?

  10. your sisters panties says:

    its actually genetically possible for 2 black people to have a white baby, and vice versa. rare but possible lookitup

  11. Cable Guy says:

    @Tracey Chapless: You don’t have the brainpower for me to waste my time with you.

    @Masterblaster Read either the post or the article ya dumbshit.

  12. Tracy Chapless says:

    Whatever “Saint Lucifer” (ie Benjamin Leo) at least have the courage to reply as yourself.

    I didn’t come in here to try to preach to anyone, you started it with the whole anti Christian mess

  13. The Comforter says:

    the Edomite swine, sons of Esau, have sold their birthright for a piece of raw meat. the pink and hairy man hath spurned the righteousness of the All Father and chosen the path of Sin. and the Lord shall weigh vengeance upon the heads of their brothers and sisters for the Sin of their forefathers. As the Devil has infected their souls.

  14. Doc Venkman says:

    >> Comforter

    Obvious troll is obvious

  15. Hunk Williams, Jr. says:

    Dear Tracy

    We get blasted with Christianity everywhere else we go. Can you leave it off SBTVC?

    Thanks a bunch,
    Hunk

  16. Tracy Chapless says:

    to “poopsee”, no need to gang up on me, I think he can speak for himself. Automatically assuming that every black man wants to fuck a white woman, or black woman / white man in this case is the same old story and yes it is racist!

  17. God says:

    Fuck, you religious freaks BUM ME OUT.
    Fuck off already.

    Sincerely,
    God

  18. Anonymous says:

    ‘who cares’

  19. ty says:

    Haha! Religion. Albinism. Marital circumstances.

    You comments-on-a-website kids crack me up. And by “kids” I mean divinity school professors and geneticists. Benjamin Leo is the Jerry Springer of the new world order.

    Gypsies fucking did this shit. Hex, nigga, hex!

  20. benny hinn says:

    Tracy Chapshit,
    You don’t wanna be ganged on from being a zealot christian preaching your religious views on STREET CARNAGE???
    Then get the fuck you stupid bitch! You are obviously doing it on the wrong blog.

  21. T-roll says:

    What is wrong with believing in God and salvation from Jesus?

    The book of Edward states “Thou art a sinner who preacheth the lords name in vaineth”.

    SO unless you all repent you’re basically gonna be shishkababs.

  22. Oooh big men says:

    It really takes a lot of courage to beat someone up over the Internet for believing in religion. You guys are pathetic.

  23. Anonymous says:

    Dear Barf,

    The priests didn’t even try to molest me as a child. Am I unattractive?

    Unblessed Ass

  24. benny hinn says:

    What is this, Disneyland?? You better be ready to take hit for what you believe in. If you are going to come here, and attack someone for not believing, you will be hit back by the other side.
    And to T-roll, the book of Edward does not exist you dumbshit….
    FIRE ON YOUR LIFE>!!!!!

  25. T-roll says:

    @benny hinn

    Just because you don’t believe in it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist!

    Quit trying to force your values on other people you FANATIC.

    Someone once said maybe the Jews shouldn’t exist and look at what happened.

  26. benny hinn says:

    Wow!!! your stupidity bewilders me!!!! What the fuck are you talking about?

    I’m trying to force my point of views????? And what is my point of view since you seem to know it so well? Did I say I didn’t believe in religion or god?
    Did I say Christians shouldn’t exist or question what is faith???
    I Obviously know the bible better than you as I know there is no book BOOK of EDWARD’s in it. If you quote the bible, try to quote it right.

  27. Ess Atan says:

    hail satan!!!!

  28. Cable Guy says:

    Ugh, Benny Hinn makes me ashamed to be an athiest. He’s such a moronic troll-feeding 16 year old.

  29. T-roll says:

    @benny hinn

    Dude chill out. It’s o.k. to be racist, homophobic, and anti-Christian.

    Its just putting those views on others, that’s the problem.

  30. benny hinn says:

    @T-roll
    Again, ignorant assumptions on your part. I happen to be black, gay and I am in fact christian.
    What Pisses me off is people who quote the bible to look smart and quote it wrong.

    If any man think himself to be a prophet, or spiritual, let him acknowledge that the things that I write unto you are the commandments of the Lord, but if any man be ignorant, let him be ignorant.
    1 Cor. 14:37

  31. tommy gun says:

    michael jackson had white babeeess – so there fools.

  32. Gary Gnu says:

    > Again, ignorant assumptions on your part. I happen to be black, gay and I am in fact christian.

    Sure you are.

  33. ElGalloGigante says:

    Tracy Chapless has taken you for a ride. Tracy adds a little racism between the lines and then shakes a set of keys with the Christian bit.

    Nice.

  34. T-roll says:

    @ Benny Hinn

    Sure, and I’m an astronaut that is best friends with Geraldo rivera.

    (P.S. Dude, look at my name. You’re making it too easy for me.)

  35. Name says:

    Tl;dr but damn I bet they’re pissed and want a refund.

  36. Gary Gnu says:

    Yeah but T-roll, big fucking shit. Don’t go patting yourself on the back or think your name is some encrypted “Voldemort”-like genius. How hard is it to troll this Benny Hinn character?

    Now if Benny Hinn turned out to be trolling, THAT would be genius. Bit he can’t be, because no one can pull of just PRETENDING to be that dumb.

  37. T-roll says:

    He may be way over our heads in trolling ability.
    He may be the Keyser Soze of Trolling, so far beyond us we just think we’re ahead of him.
    But really he’s pulling all of our strings.

  38. Two words says:

    ^ Does this mean he types with a limp?

  39. moufbreatha says:

    i’m truly dumbfounded by some of the comments here. a white baby is born to Nigerian parents (I hate to sell my own out, but let’s not rule out an elaborate scam) and motherfuckers are having religious wars!

  40. Dumptruck says:

    I’d fuck a black man. Quote me on that!

  41. pish posh says:

    I would really like Barf to weigh in on this. Lesley is better than you.

  42. Cable Guy says:

    Yeeeeeah, Leslie Arfin better than BeN. ok.

  43. FEDERAL COMEā„¢ says:

    This fucking kid is gonna look like “Powder” when he grows up – here’s to hoping he drives my Meals on Wheels car.

    Also relevant:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1W08n2rkzg

  44. Dim Load says:

    Who’d she fuck? Roger Daltrey? Dude’s got some strong ass jizzum to be 100% overriding all that super dark chocolateyness. Score one for the white boys.

  45. mr.meat says:

    I found the tip of a human thumb inside my pepsi today.
    how bout explaining that one god!
    …kuz I think I might be eggo prego.

  46. Laidoff Fitler says:

    FOR ZE FADERRLAND VE ALL MAKE WHITE BABIES NOW

    SEEN KYLE!

    you can read all about this and more in my book “My Struggle” out now!

  47. Danny Glover says:

    The fact that black people can have white babies proves the existence of a god? What?
    I’m too old for this shit…

  48. Lady Die says:

    Anthony from Staten Island sounds like a real fuxking man. No wonder you fags hate em

  49. IS THIS ON MEDIATAKEOUT YET? LAWL.

  50. WWJD says:

    What nobody’s saying is how fugly that kid is…

  51. Father McMolesty says:

    I saw an image of the Virgin Mary on my helmet after pulling it from the shitpipe of an alter boy. Who can deny the power of God? Hallelujah!

  52. Billy Batts says:

    Dear God-

    Please let this happen to a Farrakhan. We need the comedy.

    Best Regards,

    Vane$$a

  53. really? says:

    THE RACIAL UNDERTONE TO THIS HEADLINE IS FUCKING DISGUSTING

  54. Anonymous says:

    oh yeah its a miracle all right… a miracle he hasn’t forced her to go on Maury Povich and get a paternity test. whatadope

  55. anne frank says:

    shut up tracy

    that’s my baby cousin

    bitch be trifling

  56. […] — it’s harder to stop than start — particularly when/if/because the babe is white. White babe? The babe with the pwr. White pwr? The pwr of voodoo. Who do? You do. Do white? Remind […]


Leave A Reply