An Australian T-shirt company called Solid Gold Bomb recently issued a series of T-shirts whose main message was that people should “KEEP CALM,” and people completely ignored this message.
Back when England wasn’t a Muslim country, the phrase “KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON” was a popular slogan emphasizing the tiny island nation’s resolute stoicism.
To honor this grand tradition of stiff-upper-lippedness, Solid Gold Bomb came out with a fierce and fabulous series of T-shirts featuring a variety of messages, including KEEP CALM AND RAPE HER, KEEP CALM AND RAPE ME, KEEP CALM AND CHOKE HER, KEEP CALM AND HIT HER, and KEEP CALM AND RAPE A LOT.
So what’s wrong with keeping calm?
Apparently a lot, at least among people who are always getting upset. A tsunami of protest emerged and Amazon decided to wipe its ass with the First Amendment, pulling the entire line of colorful and exquisitely designed shirts.
An English Culture Secretary—apparently, that’s a job—said, “Domestic violence and sex offenses are not something people should make money out of.” Being from the government, they neglected to mention that rape and woman-beating help keep the government making money by fueling the prison-industrial complex. Duh!
Doubling down on the bleeding-vagina factor was that Solid Gold Bomb’s founder claimed the shirts were “mistakenly created by a computer program” and that he had no idea that his own company was selling such vile apparel. Yeah, right, dude!
Others lamented the persistence of a so-called “rape culture,” when this is probably the first sliver of evidence they’ve ever seen in their lives of such a thing. The shirt was called “unacceptable,” a word which by itself is unacceptable.
Keep calm, people. Tolerate others. Tolerate their lifestyles, their opinions, and their T-shirts. And remember to laugh. Otherwise, you might end up raping someone.
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