Posted by
Street Carnage
• 03.05.13 08:30 am

An Australian T-shirt company called Solid Gold Bomb recently issued a series of T-shirts whose main message was that people should “KEEP CALM,” and people completely ignored this message.

Back when England wasn’t a Muslim country, the phrase “KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON” was a popular slogan emphasizing the tiny island nation’s resolute stoicism.

To honor this grand tradition of stiff-upper-lippedness, Solid Gold Bomb came out with a fierce and fabulous series of T-shirts featuring a variety of messages, including KEEP CALM AND RAPE HER, KEEP CALM AND RAPE ME, KEEP CALM AND CHOKE HER, KEEP CALM AND HIT HER, and KEEP CALM AND RAPE A LOT.

So what’s wrong with keeping calm?

Apparently a lot, at least among people who are always getting upset. A tsunami of protest emerged and Amazon decided to wipe its ass with the First Amendment, pulling the entire line of colorful and exquisitely designed shirts.

An English Culture Secretary—apparently, that’s a job—said, “Domestic violence and sex offenses are not something people should make money out of.” Being from the government, they neglected to mention that rape and woman-beating help keep the government making money by fueling the prison-industrial complex. Duh!

Doubling down on the bleeding-vagina factor was that Solid Gold Bomb’s founder claimed the shirts were “mistakenly created by a computer program” and that he had no idea that his own company was selling such vile apparel. Yeah, right, dude!

Others lamented the persistence of a so-called “rape culture,” when this is probably the first sliver of evidence they’ve ever seen in their lives of such a thing. The shirt was called “unacceptable,” a word which by itself is unacceptable.

Keep calm, people. Tolerate others. Tolerate their lifestyles, their opinions, and their T-shirts. And remember to laugh. Otherwise, you might end up raping someone.



  1. LOOOOOOVE “bleeding vagina factor”! So much more accurate than bleeding heart. Especially when you consider how tolerant and compassionate women having their periods can be.

  2. Wish I was as smart as Jim Goad says:

    When will the idiots learn that freedom of speech does not equal freedom from consequences? Amazon could have kept the shirts available and lost plenty of business. It was their right to make that decision, but ultimately, they sided with their pocketbooks. If you’re a restaurant owner, and you yell “cunt” at every costumer who walks through the door, don’t be upset when people stop visiting your establishment. It’s the same shit.

  3. Chapter After says:

    If it’s such a good idea, *you* print them up and mail them out.

  4. JOey says:

    Whomever wrote the nonsense above me will have their family wiped out by a drunk driver.

  5. Anonymous says:

    @ Smarter
    Amazon didn’t create the shirts nor had any control over them in the first place. This blog explains in depth the technology that was responsible:

  6. Chapter After says:

    @JOey, drop me your address. I’ll let you repeat that to my face before pounding yours in.

  7. Zig says:

    Hey chapter, you have anger issues. How about I call you a wannabe thug to your face, and when you swing at me, I blow you away with a little muzzle loading flint lock?? Or a knife. Or a stick. How about one of those big army guns? Or a “personal defense weapon” the DHS is buying for all their thugs n(they cal them assault rifles if a civlian has one).

  8. How are you going to blow someone away with a knife? Or a stick?

  9. raymi says:

    Keep calm and carry on was a war time propaganda poster slogan for the people of GB to chillax while they were being bombed and whoever resurrected the shit today should be shoved. It’s like the crocs of memes now.

  10. derk says:

    looks great with my facial tattoo that reads “cunt destroyer”.

  11. Chapter After says:

    @Zig: If you threaten my family, I’m going to get angry, yeah. See the 2nd comment above re: “freedom of speech does not equal freedom from consequences”

  12. Jim Goad says:

    @ Chapter After

    My guts tell me that JOey was referring to the comment directly above yours. You may have committed the keyboard warrior’s version of premature ejaculation in this case. Just a thought.

  13. Chapter After says:

    @Jim Goad: Quite possible (the half-hour timestamp lag notwithstanding). If so, my sincere apologies.

  14. panama says:

    this is like one of those things were immature little boys run around thinking everything offensive is funny and ok and everyone should just relax and stop being so uptight and they are the sole guardians of whats funny in this world… that is until they actually encounter something like rape in real life – find out its happened to someone in your family or a loved one – what are you gonna do if it happened to your sister? your wife? your daughter? or you? im guessing your opinion on whats funny is gonna change, dramatically
    its a weird combination of naivete, stupidity, immaturity, insecurity and hubris
    im not sure what kind of sheltered little life you’ve led, but if you had to deal with even a fraction of the pain that some of these fragile looking little women carry around with them on a daily basis you would shit yourself and not be able to leave the house.
    i used to think shit was funny like you did, and then i saw a whole lot of horrible shit that i didnt want to

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