Posted by
Francisco Murphy
• 02.25.13 01:33 pm

I love donuts but I don’t eat them while in uniform. Here are the three I love the most and the three I love the least. Sharing this is not something I’ve ever done before. I don’t think any cop has.

THE WORST

3. Anything filled with jelly or custard

It’s not so much the taste as it is the ease of eating and messiness. You bite into a jelly or custard-filled donut and if you’re not careful, the back explodes and you’ve now got a horror show. Rather than enjoying calorific wonderfulness, you have to clean yourself up. Nothing says “degenerate slob” better than donut jelly all over you. You don’t want to be that copper with jelly all over the front of your uniform. You’re also forced to eat it faster than you’d like. If you don’t scarf that baby down, the insides ooze everywhere.

 

2. Crullers

First off, how does that even look remotely appetizing? I can’t stand these. They’re bland, hard, and the topping options always suck. Maple, sugar, or coconut. Which brings me to …

 

1. Coconut anything

I fucking hate you with a red-hot passion. I’m not a big fan of coconut-flavored anything to begin with; however, what is particularly gross is the stale, gag-me taste of the super-processed coconut paper shavings. The taste is totally overpowering, like putting olives on a pizza.

 

 

THE BEST

3. Either the glazed or chocolate iced glazed by Krispy Kreme (they tie)

Los Angeles had around a dozen or so Krispy Kreme stores not very long ago. We are now down to one. This is a nightmare. When I am in the area these are a truly wonderful especially if you get them when the “Hot Now” neon lights are on.

 

 

2. Chocolate Raised

It’s simple and every donut shop makes a good one. Honorable mention goes to the chocolate cake donut. The chocolate raised had been my favorite for the longest time, until I tried …

 

1. This.

It has chocolate chips inside of it, chocolate frosting on top and is topped with chocolate chips. I’ll let the photo speak for itself (I’m unaware if it has a specific name).

This little taste of heaven is so good that when I am walking up the path to the front of the shop, I begin salivating. Before I order I have to make sure I swallow so I don’t talk with too much saliva in my mouth. My God, I’m even salivating now as I type this. When you eat this, there is so much goodness in every bite it’s almost too much to take. I desperately want a donut now, but it’s Lent and one of the vices I gave up was gluten. Lord, give me strength.

 

—FRANCISCO MURPHY


Comments
  1. NYPD says:

    Next week we will be covering all things bacon

  2. Derek says:

    I respect your opinion, Francisco, and I’m happy that you took the time to share. I completely disagree though. Lemon Meringues and Boston Creams are what donuts are all about.

  3. raymi says:

    food porn jesus


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