There I was, first day out of the Academy.
Some special unit had arrested some dirtbag for firing off an “assault” rifle in the wee hours of the morning at actual people, their cars, homes, and a news helicopter. He was in a holding cell. The detectives in charge tasked my training officer to get him booked for ADW (assault with a deadly weapon). So shit rolls downhill and he tells me, “All right, boot, strip him and then book him.”
Sure! Wait, I mean, WHAT THE FUCK!? My first day, my first official police act, and I have to strip-search some guy? Welcome to the big city, Francisco!
We have to strip-search an arrestee when either a) the charge has to do with weapons (these assholes have been known to keister weapons); b) the charge has to do with drugs; or c) they have either weapons charges or drug charges on their rap sheets. And it’s always an officer of the same sex, unless it’s the odd Ohio town.
The strip search was pretty uneventful, but thinking of my first strip search got me to remembering the reason I fucking hate these. It’s because more than half the time you’re dealing with a gross, disgusting, fucking Los Angeles transient who is fully nude. Think this, only worse. Or this, only worse!
You’re never really the same after strip-searching this guy or any of his friends. It isn’t just your eyes that get raped, it’s also your sense of smell! AND TASTE! Ever come across something so smelly you can taste it? Welcome to my life.
Women coppers have it way easier. First, you have the whole prevalence of lesbian coppers. There are not nearly as many male homosexual officers as lesbian cops. Without doing a whole Steve Sailer by-the-numbers thing, I can tell you with absolute certainty that the males we arrest in LA are infinitely more disgusting than the females. Somehow I don’t see this issue of inequality ever getting addressed.
Thank God for seniority. Ten-plus years means something like 70% of the department has less time on than me.