He may not look like it, but your dog has dined on more cock than Adam Lambert.
If he’s not pissing on everything in your apartment or desperately trying to get into the trash to eat used tampons, the little guy is probably chewing on a “bully stick.” Dogs go crazy for them. They’re also fucking indestructible, which is great for when you’re trying to keep the little guy busy while you’re beating off to Internet porn. I gave these things to my dog for years without knowing what they were, until my curiosity got the best of me.
They’re bull dicks.
That’s right, those little brown things that dogs love to chew up are bull dicks. After killing the cow and chopping its cock off, they drain out all the cum and piss and let it dry out and harden in the sun. Then they cut them into six-inch-long portions and package them up for your dog’s enjoyment.
“Lils” bully sticks; Made from cocks of bulls that got laughed at in gym showers their entire lives.
They also smell like shit. As your dog gnaws on the thing, you may have noticed a “homeless guy assholes pickled in Porta Potty slop” aroma assaulting your senses.
That’s dick smell.
But wait, it gets worse. I expect a species that enjoys eating shit and vomit to consider bovine urethras fair game. But humans eat this shit as well. Bull cocks that are considered fit for human consumption are called “Pizzles.”
Hang on, don’t fire up your Foreman Grill just yet, you need to boil these things for a year to get them tender enough to chew. I guess that’s why most of the Pizzle recipes I found were for Pizzle soup.
The comments on those Pizzle soup recipes are the stuff of nightmares.
“wow, you’re brave. i would def like to try those testicles although bursting in my mouth might freak me out a bit! Mmm”
“I’m jealous! I didn’t get any urethra in mine…”
What the fuck is wrong with these people? OK, maybe I need to be a little more open-minded about this. After all, China is where they eat all this weird stuff.
I just watched a presidential debate between two candidates that think the Patriot Act and the NDAA were fucking fantastic, so our country is completely fucked. China is going to take over the world, so I better get used to their weird food. I figure I’ll start with the slimy shark fin soup, work my way up to the bird’s nest, and graduate to stinky bull urethra stew.