Posted by
Rob Hohne
• 10.28.16 06:38 pm

screen-shot-2016-10-28-at-2-50-22-pm

As a brother, a husband, and a son, I must admit that I am exactly as outraged as many of my fellow Americans are in light of Trump’s recent comments. I’m not even referring to the infamous recording from 2005, when he was caught in a private conversation bragging about his sexual advances, which I found to be equally deplorable. I’m talking instead about the following sentence, which he twice repeated last week during the debate:

“I will look at it at the time.”

Bombshell, I know. He was of course answering a question about whether he will accept the voting results and concede to Hillary after the election, should he lose. How dare this maniac question the integrity of our elections, which are heralded as the cornerstone of our democracy. Any evidence of tempering or fraud should be dismissed a priori.

It’s not really edgy to post mainstream CNN or NBC articles to let your friends see how outraged you are, so you get more style points by referencing a more fashionable source, if even in a literal sense.

Sports talking head Keith Olbermann, who now corresponds for GQ on all needs special, also shares my level of outrage, screaming that Trump’s comments implying a lack of reverence for pure and uncorrupted election outcomes were the “moral equivalent of treason.” Twice yelling that Trump should “BURN IN HELL!” Olbermann then listed three specific claims about the treasonous comments to “look at it at the time,” calling them:

  1. “The greatest existential threat to this country’s government since the Cuban Missile Crisis.”
  2. “Easily the greatest internal threat to this country’s government since the Civil War.”
  3. “The worst moment of governmental instability and vulnerability since 9/11.”

Of all the media outlets berating dimwit American yokels for supporting Trump, it’s a bit odd that Gentlemen’s Quarterly is such a loud voice. Although it’s not surprising that the political commentary churned out by a periodical that generally focuses on manscaping isn’t exactly think tank caliber.

GQ writer Drew Magary is also outraged by Dumb America’s support for Trump, calling “blue collar” voters morons, shitbirds, and hayseeds. Having moved on from gossiping in Gawker’s sports page about how much of a bee-otch, and a cock, and a pussy Brett Favre is—his words are now sandwiched between the pages of oiled-up rent boys modeling peep-toe mandals, and the scratch-n-sniff perfume samples of a fashion magazine. You’d think he’d have a bit more trepidation about lambasting “three-dollar diner” America when using such a pretentious platform to lecture us about being anti-establishment.

In his article called “If You’re a Republican, You Have No Right to Bitch about America,” he strangely claims that we already live in the small government utopia that Trump supporters claim to advocate. Look, if you’re stuck in the same conversations about gender inequality, gun control, and social services like you’re in a college dorm room, and still haven’t woken up to the adult reality that being left alone by the government and being taxed less is ultimately what any sane person would want, and if you still vote Democrat because you think it makes you more compassionate, I’m not really interested in your thoughts on a political party that at least pretends to run on a platform of individual liberty. If you’re not a Republican, you have no right to bitch about Republicans.

GQ is a magazine I actually used to enjoy—one of the best issues I can remember was from way back in July 2005, which featured smoking hot Jessica Simpson wearing an American flag bikini and fatigues on the cover. “Jessica Simpson, and 75 Other Reasons to Love America.” Back when people weren’t confounded by airhead blondes who loved their country—it celebrated Simpson as a “Bible belt-raised, teen-pop-honed, reality TV child bride.” It was cute that she couldn’t even pronounce Massachusetts. American flags, topless chicks, guns, hamburgers, gloating over your imprisoned enemies—only a decade ago, before any of us had heard the term “social justice,” 2005 was still a time when people embraced unapologetic Americana, even in a liberal rag like GQ.

Fast forward to the GQ of today and you’ll find former Anthony Weiner intern Olivia Nuzzi covering the campaign, smugly profiling another big-haired blonde with the “appearance of a country singer,” Trump supporter Scottie Nell Hughes. The article tries to make “head scratching” sense of a woman who, in response to the Pussygate scandal, admitted that she “wasn’t really bothered by the incident.”

Want to know who else wasn’t really bothered by the incident? Every honest person in America.

The article concludes with the reactions Hughes gets in response to her pro-Trump television appearances—being called a “stupid whore” and receiving threatening calls from irate strangers. Incidents of third-rail anti-feminist misconduct that Nuzzi seems to brush off as mere examples of “Trump-induced anxiety.” Right, attacks on Trump supporters are Trump’s fault.

These media outlets are full of hacks who look themselves in the mirror everyday and are frustrated by the fact that they are exactly as outraged and disgusted by these Trump comments as I am. Which is to say, they are not outraged at all. Comparing comments made by a political candidate to the Cuban Missile Crisis, 9/11, and the Civil Fucking War is insane. Fretting that Americans support Trump only because they are too stupid to know any better is as lazy as it gets. Hyperventilating drivel, name-calling, and misguided smugness are symptoms of your own self-doubt.

Making America great again is a tall order—but dialing it back to 2005 is a step in the right direction. Before it became fashionable to feign outrage and to embrace victimhood status after every insensitive comment uttered by a celebrity. Someone needs to tell GQ that political correctness and phony outrage over social injustices are out of vogue—that shit is soooo 2012.

-ROBERT HOHNE


Comments
  1. STINKY says:

    Good year for music. “Feels”, “Gimme Fiction”, “Purple Haze”

  2. Alec Leamas says:

    I’m trying to imagine a world in which Drew Magary tells Bret Favre that he’s a bitch within 15 miles of Bret Favre’s face.

  3. CCV Dreamin' says:

    Would be great to rewind everything back, past the freak-show: Katrina, Kanye West, Pelosi and her desultory follower Obama, comic book movies, AMC original series, Chuck Lorre’s later oeuvre, celebrity sex tapes, pseudo-celebrity camwhores, smartphones, social networks, Uber, Nate Silver, Bill Simmons, Seth Myers, Jeff Bezos, dubstep, HDTV, Halloween costume bellyaching, dumbfuck memes, Chipotle diarrhea, a few million con artists from SW Asia moving here, Anita Sarkeesian, Ta-Nehisi Shithead, reformicons, nutroots, casino commercials w/ excitable Chinese gamblers in them, Lindsay Lohan’s 2nd act, Kate Middleton, Adele, Lourde, Drake, the unwarranted aggrandizement of Joss Whedon/Judd Apatow/Ryan Gosling/Aaron McGruder/George R.R. Martin, and emoji.

    I tried to remember something good that’s happened since 2005 but it’s impossible

  4. JR Wirth says:

    2005 was a shit hole of a year. As awful as a President that Obama is, W was worse, because he created Obama through his vast incompetence. The Obama Presidency is merely the pneumonia setting in as we gasp for air in a hospital bed after contracting the AIDS virus of the W Presidency.

    We would have been better if W “I want a humble foreign policy” was aborted in the 40’s. Sadly, he was born and became President. And now he finger paints on the ranch while the world burns. If Gore had won, he would have been a weak one-term schmuck, but we possibly would have had a good president by 2005. Instead that stinking failure of human being started the whole machine going for this smooth talking negro to waltz right in, no accomplishments, no nothing. And here we are.

    FUCK 2005. When W dies of Alzheimers I will hope to one day dance on his grave. And his mother’s if it’s nearby. A family that will be voting for Hillary after all. That should tell you something.

  5. OogaBooga says:

    I’m starting to realize that it’s pretty simple. Delusional airheads like Drew Magary imagine themselves leaders of The Establishment, and they react to any deviation from their rulebook with the rage of a despot. The power of the mainstream media is disintegrating before our eyes, and tantrums like Magary’s are the death thoes. It hurts really, really bad, doesn’t it, Magary, you no-talent piece of shit hack? GOOD!!!

  6. Urban Achiever says:

    i didn’t know Drew Magary had gone on to GQ. But I do know 2 things: 1) ad hominem attacks posing as sports punditry is retarded. The fact that writers stoop to insulting their subjects, e.g. Calling out Favre as a pussy, is an embarrassingly bad practice. 2) that being said, Drew Magary is fucking hilarious and a seriously talented humour writer. Most of his Funbag segments are top quality. I don’t care about his politics – nobody that consistently funny is studied or rigorous enough in geopolitics to have a worthwhile political opinion. Sadly, in our culture, a deep understanding of complicated political issues runs of course a distant second to reliably dispatching intellectually lazy zingers.

  7. OogaBooga says:

    Honey Boo Boo is fucking hilarious, too. Who gives fucking shit?

  8. OogaBooga says:

    I found an example of the Magary “hilarity” and “talent” you’re talking about.

    “Q: When taking a dump which is more impressive? Size or stench?
    A: Oh, size. For sure. Who’s impressed by a smelly dump? No one. Every dump smells like the arrival of Satan. The only time you should take note of your bowel movement’s stench is when it’s distinctive, like if it smells like vinegar, or Chinese food, or popcorn, or all three. But even then, I’m more horrified at the result than proud of it. I end up trying to retrace my gastronomic steps, to get at the root cause of the terror.

    By contrast, it feels great to stand up off the pot and see a fucking DRAGON swimming around in the bowl. ”

    Anyway, we can agree on the fact that he has no business offering a political opinion.

  9. A Completely Non-Ooga Booga says:

    2005 was a fun year. Guys getting blown up by IED’s in Iraq. That sounds bad at face value, but it laid the groundwork for today’s dominance at the Paralympics.
    .
    USA! USA!

  10. Urban Achiever says:

    @ooga I agree that poo one was weak – don’t even remember it. On the other hand His “paw patrol” critique, to pick one example, was brilliant. Hey, Nobody bats 1000 — or, in your and my case, at all.

  11. OogaBooga says:

    I bat, man. I bat.

  12. B.S. Alert says:

    I’m someone to tell you Rob that you’re also feigning phoney outrage when you smugly and flippantly say “political correctness and phoney outrage over social injustices are out of vogue and are soooo 2012” like some Valley girl.
    PC, the campus and funded outside agit-prop SJW groups are not some fad or trending hash tag that go away like some pop culture superficiality as yesterday as a pet rock. They are serious manifestations that creeping cultural Marxism has cooked our impressionable little frogs thoroughly by indoctrination in a hijacked education system among other influences, and they are being used in forming the outlines of a progressive vanguard that is speeding up the “fundamental transformation” that is getting closer to a critical mass stage. The reactionary elements on the Right that some have labeled Alt-Right are proof of how far the Left has come in the battle for the Soul of America that is known as the Culture War. Demographics and the ownership of the Nation’s main institutions guarantee that the Left wins this War.
    Only someone pretend-auditioning for the National Review would so cuckishly diminish such a vital sign in the Nation’s prognosis. The Leftist media is so cynical that they can spew outrageous propaganda without a conscience to check them but that’s not saying they are just in love with the sounds of their wit, they are very conscious of their activist role and by any means. They appreciate your mistaking their motives and are glad that you see them as nothing more than silly show offs. There is NO SELF DOUBT on their part. They know exactly what they are doing and why and how to most effectively achieve the Bee Hive being constructed.

  13. BoogeyWoogey says:

    Bush has become the all purpose kicking can to deflect Obama’s and the democrats ruinous rule since dub was put out to pasture. The big disasters his administration are responsible for, the dems were complicit in. That same blame playbook can be used, if you like, to say 9-11, for instance, was due to Bill Clinton not taking Bin Laden out when he was a sitting duck. The 2 wars were voted and approved by the very same hypocrites who exacerbated the managed mess by pulling out, thereby creating a safe space and even inadvertently provided weapons to the improperly vetted Syrian rebel factions leading to the emergence of ISIL. The Economic crisis was partly at the feet of democrats who had been pushing the real estate industry for decades to loosen lending guidelines in order to make home ownership available to people who weren’t credit worthy. Obama tripled down on the Wall Street bailout and left America’s foreclosed homeowners holding the tab on top of their own loss. His $700+ billion shovel ready investment in America’s infrastructure was non-existent and the money is no where to be seen. He robbed Medicare to fund the Medicaid portion of the A.C.A. and created 2 problems out of one. The first black president has created a race war. More debt has accumulated in his two terms than all previous administrations combined. Not only is Bush comparatively less of a disaster, and that’s nothing for Neo Cons to be proud of, but forces a legendary incompetent like Carter to relinquish his dunce hat as the Worst POTUS ever. All that and not even mentioning his corruption, lies, trampling of the Constitution with his illegal executive orders, and war on law enforcement. You’re wrong JR Wirth, Obama is not only worse, way worse, but couldn’t be worse if he had been a Soviet mole.

  14. JR Wirth says:

    Obama is only worse because he’s the parasitic virus that kills the patient after the first virus knocks out the immune system. Obama is the grim death that was unleashed by the Bush Administration. Bush is evil in the same way that Louis the 16th was evil in that his vast, vast incompetence and naiveté led to the collapse of his state and the ushering in of Robespierre and the other murderers who were let loose on that country. Bush destabilized everything, both at home and abroad. And to ice the cake the real estate bubble, burst, and he initiated the bail out, through his crony Paulson, who should be in a super max. Were the Democrats complicit in all of these events? Sure, but only because they were the prime beneficiary of their failure. The Democrats were always a thousand times smarter than the rubes of the GOP.

    The vile weed Obama emerged from the steaming, nutrient rich horse manure of the Bush Administration. The course of history was already changed to benefit the magic, smooth talking negro, before he even ran for President. An exhausted country turned to this soothsaying negro (the parasitic virus) to “heal us.” The fact that the virus then ran rampant throughout the body politic is beside the point.

  15. Harry Dykes says:

    Boogey… I remember the stimulus package. The opportunity was there to do infrastructure development that people were baying for over many years. And the country blew it. Our community re-did a bridge that they had re-done a year earlier with other money. My organization blew a huge part of their share on drawing up architect plans for a building that STILL hasn’t been built and won’t be for many more years , if ever. Republicans nagged and demanded that some be put aside for tax cuts. It was a complete fuck up by all involved, the money was in many hands and nobody did anything productive with it. I imagine the same shit fest can be applied to other things mentioned here.

  16. Jimmy the Geek says:

    GQ has the same pretentious desire to be taken seriously as that purveyor of fine smut did when he paid handsomely the days literati to straddle his famous centerfold. In Hefners case it actually worked for a time as the best minds in the business dutifully wrote for him and procured their invites to the mansion orgys. GQ’s pockets and lure is not quite the same hence are staffed by shit birds like Olbermann. I miss those Gore Vidal and Christopher Hitchens debates with the likes of William F. Buckley and especially Tom Wolfe’s essay contributions. I was a young wanker who simultaneously was being introduced to provocative thinkers AND getting my freak on. GQ provides neither for today’s yoots.

  17. O.J. says:

    That Jessica Simpson cover concept was awfully quaint and nostalgic in this increasingly polarized land. Today GQ would be accused of sexism, jingoism, violating the separation between church and state, white privilege, and whatever other feigned outrage “they” could wring out of that GQ cover. I see in that cover simple unbounded joy as American as you know what. I suspect that wasn’t GQ’S intention even not so very way back then. More likely they were mocking patriotism as the Left and their (((thinkers))) have always hated nationalism. Still for me I see a healthy wholesome (looking) girl who unfortunately in these times there are not enough of them being produced and not enough of them producing.

  18. Anthony's Weiner says:

    I’m feeling a patriotic tingling going up my leg as I look at Miss Jessica busting out our nation’s colors. I’m pulling my flag up the pole as I type with one hand and glory hallelujah! God bless America! Somethings bursting in air and my flag is still there!

  19. frank says:

    Yeah, it really needs to emphasized that Baby Bush probably destroyed America. All the big problems were still fixable 2000-2008. Now they’re not realistically fixable, and Baby Bush actively made them all so much worse.

    America will soon fall into fiscal and social disaster and quite possibly fail and break apart and Bush Jr. did it.

    Obama has not really been an especially horrible president. He was mostly just a disappointment and went with the flow. In 2008 it was believable that he would at least get foreign policy under sane control. Instead he just just kept going with the status quo. I mean, we knew he’d do stupid democrat shit on immigration and taxes, but his utter failure on foreign policy and prosecuting financial corruption was sad.

  20. Emma says:

    Normally I’m against killing but this article slhetagerud my ignorance.

  21. The Central Bus says:

    Yes, we’ll record it in the minutes that Bush the Younger was a moron and a cuck, just like his entire family for 7 generations backwards and forwards.

    But remember the alternatives were global warming crank Algore and the Kenyan’s spokesclown John Effin’ Kerry. And then we got the Kenyan who destroyed healthcare and health insurance, doubled the debt, destabilized the Middle East and fomented ongoing race war among the many disasters of his traitorous presidency.

    Bush was a disaster. Algore and Kerry show that it could have been much worse. The Kenyan proved that assertion by actually being much worse.


Leave A Reply